Strippers vs Werewolves

The versus movies in general got quite a high (though still no Gremlins versus Critters movie - or the other way around alphabetically or maybe even liking like) - and there are also a lot of movies with Strippers fighting of evil creatures too. Or bite back? Well I reckon you can make a lot of jokes and most of them are probably better than the ones in the movie.

Still there is fun to be had (and nudity and blood if you don't count them as fun in general) and this does not try to fool you into thinking it being something different than it actually is

I am a big fan of independent cinema and bought this film straight away. I was impressed by similar style films such as the Robert Englund staring Zombie Strippers but this film lacks in every way. The scene at the start of the film showing a night club has some of the worst cgi lighting effects ever put on film. The cinematography is appalling the film looks like it was shot on camcorders in a drama room of a college. In the modern day and age of dslr cameras and colour treating software this is inexcusable. The editing makes the established actors look like they are reading from scripts. The named stars of the film are in it for a few Min's probably collecting a pay cheque whilst attending a film convention. The makeup effects are cheap looking. The girl who is in shock at the killing of Martin Kemps character possibly gives the worst performance ever recorded in film. The pacing of the film is all over the place. it drags and attempts to be funny but fails miserably. So what is good about the film? The opening credits. they look great. If you want to see how a good British film in the same style is done watch Doghouse or Severance or even Lesbian Vampire Killers. Black and Blue films could be the saviour of British horror but if the upcoming films are as bad as this they will become Britain's answer to Full Moon.

A very British, ultra low budget film with a sprinkling of famous faces - albeit most are from UK soap operas. Directed by Jonathan Glendening and written by Pat Higgins and Phillip Baron, this 2012 film is rated 15 and has a runtime of 93 minutes. It is rated as Action, Comedy and Crime but also borders on supernatural horror too.

The plot is simple but conceivable, in a weird kind of way anyway; a stripper accidently kills a werewolf with a silver fountain pen. His friends, the rest of the pack, want their revenge. It is up to colleagues, friends, and clientele of the stripper to fight off the bloodthirsty werewolves.

I am not going to mess around and try and jazz this film up, I knew what I was getting myself into with this film, and the title of the film also set my expectations too, but this film, well - it was just bad. I usually like bad b-movies, but even by that standard this is really really bad. The acting is terrible; the script and dialogue is cringy; the make-up, effects and prosthetics are cheap; the soundtrack was awful; it wasn't funny (and it was supposed to be); the pacing was terrible... wait, I've used that descriptive word before... let's go with the pace was on par with a bumpy, pot hole covered road that was only partially built and required detours for no reason. What I am ultimately getting at, in case it was not obvious, is that this is a poor film.

With how bad the film was I was surprised at some of the faces that are in it, some from UK soap opera, some from the world of film. Ali Bastian, Adele Silva, Martin Compston, and Billy Murray all have experience in various soap operas. Martin Kemp, Alan Ford, Steven Berkoff, Lysette Anthony, and Robert Englund all have big film experience. With a cast this rich I was really expecting to see something a lot better than I got to experience. This felt like a cheap rip-off of 2008's "Zombie Strippers", which is pity because Britain is usually a strong player in the comedy-horror market with some really great tongue in cheek blood splatter films. This, unfortunately, had very few redeeming qualities and I can see this being quickly forgotten by audiences and probably the cast themselves too. I am not basing my review on a single viewing; I watched this in 2012 when it came out, and I have re-watched it in 2020 when I wrote this review. The film stunk almost ten years ago, and its fragrance has not improved since then.

Thought i well let people know (Warn) about Strippers v Werewolves, as i went to the premiere last night in London. The UK is brilliant at making Horror Comedies (Think Dog Soldiers & Shaun of the dead) However this isn't one of them. This film has 3 good points - A couple of great cameos (Alan Ford & Robert Englund) The nerdy vampire killer boyfriend (Hillarious at the end) and the end scene as the 4 strippers in stockings and suspenders dressed as little red riding hood. But even these 3 great point aren't enough to save this shocking(ly bad) film.

Let me start by saying what annoyed me the most, The soundtrack. I think it was supposed to be a new take on 80's new romantic era, but it was just awful. The cinema was full of cast and friends of friends, I can only assume the soundtrack was done by one of these as a favour. As i said earlier, it is build as a horror comedy, Although it had a few laughs, i cant remember one moment that i actually jumped (unlike Dog Soldiers) Cheesy lines, horrific acting in places & and some strippers that weren't even that good looking. I was hoping for a UK version of Zombie Strippers and got something that wouldn't be a miss on one of those free to air horror channels on sky.

Ali Bastian was decent in it, However i feel it probably won't do much for her career (Maybe she just had some bills to pay) Adele Silva actually looked better in person than on film, where she just looked like a bulldog sucking on a thistle. The make up was so bad, i can only assume it was done by make up students learning they're trait. The funniest point of the night was the end of the film when everyone applauded, thats when the lights came up and i realised everyone except me had a cameo in the film! Wait until it gets shown on channel 4 at 1am some when and try to stay awake for Robert Englund's 10 minute cameo. 4/10.

I won't beat around the bush. The acting is horrible, the script risible, the makeup and prosthetics are dire and probably the least said about the plot the better. With the number of ex-soap actors in it, perhaps it's not surprising that the film seems to derive much of it's inspiration and ethos from Crossroads and El Dorado. Put simply, it's bad. I guessed that from the title. What surprised me is that it manages to cross that line from 'bad' to 'so bad it's good'. I'll admit I didn't know it was supposed to be a comedy when I watched it and I wouldn't have guessed they were trying to be intentionally funny, but looking on it as a (bad) horror - it was hilarious. I nearly gave it an 8.