Le Manoir hanté

This is a frustrating one for me. I saw so many good ideas on display and committed performances from a game cast, but it all just felt kind of...wasted in the end.

And it's because it really felt like the cast and crew were working on a short leash. Everything about the narrative and visual presentation felt safe, sanitised, by-the-numbers, undercooked, and dull.

The film never gets silly enough to be memorable, even if it does get its share of decent laughs. And it also never gets scary or edgy enough to be memorable either.

There's no distinct style or vision here. It's like store-brand vanilla ice cream. There isn't even anything particularly wrong with it; it's just so bland that it's not going to be remembered for anything at all.

I wasn't expecting Disney's "Haunted Mansion" film to be a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but I was hoping it would be good entertainment, as the trailers seemed to make it look a bit more fun and authentic than some of Disney's other ride adaptations. It also has a talented cast including LaKeith Stanfield, Owen Wilson, and Danny DeVito. Yet the film fell short of my expectations, simply because it is so generic and derivative that it fails to offer the viewer anything new. It's not simply that "Haunted Mansion" might be too scary for younger kids and too juvenile for older kids, as that would not be a problem if the movie was good or interesting--it's just that this film overall isn't very good or interesting, period.

The film follows a single mother and her son who move into the Haunted Mansion, which is in New Orleans. While the film tries to utilize the setting of New Orleans in some decently authentic ways, the rest of the plot and character development is so generic that they fail to make viewers more engaged in the setting. The film's attempts at both humor and scares fall flat, as the jokes are formulaic and corny while the attempts at more frightening moments fail to elicit any tension or suspense, and are quite repetitive and CGI-heavy. For a film that supposedly cost $160 million to make, the visual effects look very cheesy and artificial as well. At over two hours long, the film also runs for too long, especially given the plot has limited resolution or payoff in a way that would be directly satisfying for the audience. While the supporting cast (such as Wilson and DeVito) try their best with the material they have been given and sometimes give off charismatic and fun performances, the rest of the film does not work especially well. Not recommended. 5/10.

It wanted to score too easy, was way to slow and the jokes were to predictable all the times. Sorry to see they hurried the history plot line so much, which (on itself) would make a more than fine script. Also sorry to see that many of the beloved characters where also 'just there to be there'; if you blinked your eyes you could have mist it.

Nice to see the decor that makes the entourage of the attraction. But that's about it I'm afraid. The acting was almost on amateur level, the lines and the plot to thin. It made me even long for the previous version. Which also had a lot of things to comment on.

Haunted Mansion is needlessly convoluted and feels its length but for a Disney theme park ride adaptation it's really impressive how ready this film is to have some genuinely moving and open conversations about grief and how painful it can be to move on.

Lakeith Stanfield is the main reason any of this works. For a remake of a film based on a theme park ride he's way better than he needed to be. Any scene where he opens up about his pain is incredibly engaging and unexpectedly real.

Overall this is an undeniably talented cast who've all been really funny in the past so even if they're not as funny here as they definitely could've been they're all still good at getting a fair few chuckles out of the material throughout. Tiffany Haddish wins simply by having the best joke.

The most baffling casting here is Jared Leto as the Hatbox Ghost. It's a completely forgettable role and whilst it's kinda a relief he doesn't ruin the film it's so weird to see one of the most committed actors currently working (for better and worse) take a role that is 100% stunt casting.

Justin Simien's direction is pretty good, a lot of the geometry distorting set pieces are basically just CG that looks fine but there's still fun to be had with them and it's only in the third when the CG overload threatens to derail it like it did Jungle Cruise, but this recovers.

I was hoping they learned from mistakes they made with the last Haunted Mansion movie. The story was much better than I expected, but they executed it poorly. They tried too hard with their overly silly jokes, cheesy ghost visuals, and painfully obvious shout outs to the ride. They tried to cater their jokes to kids, but in a theater full of children and preteens, the only chuckles I heard came from their elderly grandparents. My seven year old even thought it was too cheesy and was hoping for it to be a little more scary. HM is my favorite ride at Disney but I hated their use of obvious references to cater to the fans. Especially their use of the ride's original script. That was unforgivable.