- [first lines]
- R: [voice-over] What am I doing with my life? I'm so pale. I should get out more. I should eat better. My posture is terrible. I should stand up straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people? Oh, right, it's because I'm dead. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I mean, we're all dead. This girl is dead. That guy is dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. Jesus these guys look awful.
- R: [voice-over, introducing M] This is my best friend. By best friend, I mean we occasionally grunt and stare awkwardly at each other. We even have almost conversations sometimes.
- R: There's a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend's brains is one of the more unorthodox methods, but...
- Julie: I actually miss him.
- Nora: You... you miss... him...
- Julie: I know, I'm so stupid.
- Nora: Like... like you're attracted to him...
- Julie: No, I don't...
- Nora: Like... he could be your boyfriend? Your zombie... zombie boyfriend?
- [pause]
- Nora: I mean, I know it's really hard to meet guys right now, with the apocalypse and stuff. Trust me. And like I know that you miss Perry. But Julie, this is just weird. Like, I wish the internet was still working so I could just look up what whatever it is that's wrong with you.
- R: [voice-over] They call these guys Bonies. They don't bother us much, but they'll eat anything with a heartbeat. I mean, I will too, but at least I'm conflicted about it.
- R: [voice-over] I wish I could introduce myself, but I don't remember my name anymore. I mean, I think it started with an 'r' but that's all I have left. I can't remember my name, or my parents, or my job... although my hoodie would suggest I was unemployed.
- Perry: What the hell are you doing here? Are you actually dreaming right now?
- R: I'm not sure.
- Perry: You can't dream, corpse. Dreaming's for humans.
- Julie: Chill out, Perry. He can dream if he wants to.
- [Julie approaches R]
- Julie: What about you, R? What do you want to be?
- R: I don't know. I don't even know what I am.
- Julie: Well you can be whatever you want. Isn't that what they say?
- R: We can, right? You and me?
- [Julie nods]
- Perry: It's not gonna happen, lover boy. Not after you told her you ate her ex.
- Julie: What's with all the vinyl? Couldn't figure out how to work an iPod?
- R: Better... sound.
- Julie: Oh, you're a purist, huh?
- R: More... alive.
- Julie: Yep, that's true. A lot more trouble, though.
- [R shrugs]
- Julie: There you go again. Shrugging! Stop... shrugging, shrugger. It's a very noncommittal gesture.
- [R shrugs again]
- Julie: Really?
- R: [voice-over] So much for dreaming. You can't be whatever you want. All I'll ever be is a slow, pale, hunched-over, dead-eyed zombie. What did I think was gonna happen? That she'd actually want to stay with me? It's hopeless. This is what I get for wanting more. I should just be happy with what I had. Things don't change. I need to accept that. It's easier not to feel. Then I wouldn't have to feel like this.
- R: [voice-over] I don't wanna be this way. I'm lonely. I'm totally lost. I mean, I'm literally lost. I've never been in this part of the airport before.
- [R is going to find Julie]
- R: Julie and I were giving the others hope, and it was spreading fast. I guess the Bonies didn't like that. That must be why they're looking for us. I have to tell Julie. I have to explain what's happening before it's too late. I have to...
- [a goat separates from a passing herd and walks toward him. R sidles away from it]
- R: ...oh... no... oh no... please... go! Go with your friends! Shoo! Leave me! That's it. Okay.
- [Keeps walking]
- Solder #2: We're seeing corpses fighting skeletons, sir.
- Soldier #4: Copy that, we're seeing that over here too.
- Grigio: Sorry, can you repeat that?
- Solder #2: Copy that, we're seeing corpses fighting skeletons, sir.
- Grigio: We are their food source. They are not becoming vegan, okay. They don't eat broccoli, they eat brains.