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Neil Breen in I Am Here.... Now (2009)

User reviews

I Am Here.... Now

27 reviews
3/10

Huh? Oh....

Not to be a complete grammar snob, but I hope Neil Breen knows an ellipsis is three dots, not four.

So.... (Three dots) have you ever had a dream so awesome you felt like you should write it down and make a movie? Then, you tell a friend about it and they tell you it is a crap story? Well, I think Neil Breen had that dream but never let anyone scan over the story before making into a movie.

He DID improve upon his movie-making skills since Double Down. This film relied far less on royalty-free footage and music and actually seemed to include scenes filmed directly for the movie, not for a 3-2-1 Contact segment from 1981 as In his prior film.

On the other hand, my "compliment" is akin to saying that a kid's 4th grade art project is better than their 3rd grade art project. How someone can be so egotistical to write, star in, direct, produce, and even CATER their own movie is beyond my self-loathing comprehension. I, as a Midwestern middle class woman have the same access to equipment, money, software, and acting talent as Mr. Breen. Yet, I choose not to make a movie showcasing my mediocre talent. However, does that make me smart OR does that make Neil Breen brave. Only the viewer can decide...
  • rebecca_rinehart
  • Aug 18, 2016
  • Permalink
5/10

Neil Breen Strikes Back

  • saint_brett
  • Dec 16, 2019
  • Permalink
2/10

A challenging and thought-provoking film

Yes, it's a challenge just to sit through this crazy thing, and the thoughts it provokes are, What the hell? Why are there doll heads in the desert? Did that dolphin just poop? Do all the women in Las Vegas wear those spaghetti strap blouses with the two top buttons open to show their chests? Couldn't they get any actors for this? Why do they use the same scream over and over? What's with the monster mask? Why, why why am I watching this? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Writer, Producer and Director Neil Breen stars as a space Jesus who comes to Earth in a glass paperweight to check up on his failed experiment - humanity. The corrupt politicians and lying lawyers play out their efforts to hamper the development of sustainable energy systems in halting stilted monologues. Economic conditions force people into crime, dismemberment and depravity, and the space Jesus makes the bad guys bleed from their eyes for menacing a cancer patient in a wheelchair. I wouldn't be fool enough to compare this unique creation with anything else - it's created a whole new reality for itself. It's like a metaphor - FOR LIFE. I only hope we are ready when Neil Breen's glass paperweight returns once more to Earth.
  • ONenslo
  • Mar 5, 2011
  • Permalink

The Supreme Breing saves us all!

  • danielemerson
  • Nov 7, 2016
  • Permalink
1/10

An objectively terrible film.

This man should be arrested. Apparently it is too short to submit. So he should be arrested and sentenced to at least 10 years in prison.
  • lordjjoliver
  • Jan 8, 2020
  • Permalink
1/10

Wow

I haven't finish watching it, because I mean, who actually could? I gave it my best, but it's just...A lot of cringe. I bet even Neil throughout the first 20 minutes of previewing his final cut probably left and never finished watching it. Its just a literal waste of time. I like to watch low budget movies, but this feels like it was bad not on purpose and also on purpose...I feel like Neil genuinely believes that this is a real and serious movie, but hes not 100% sure. And that's a vibe I dont like, it's actually a bit terrifying and might be a sign of something being wrong with him. It feels like he hired some female actors just to paint a picture of him being able to get the ladies. Its something like a Steven Seagull vibe, but only worse and with less budget. I think this man might be delusional in real life as well, cos obviously he kept making similar movies afterwards with the same general message. And that is, that he a is a selfish, self-centered ego-maniac. Our art should represent who we are, and if it's not satire, which this one just isnt, then...What more do I need to say?
  • sime-arsov
  • Mar 31, 2023
  • Permalink
10/10

Everyone has to watch this

  • nepimpeta
  • Dec 20, 2018
  • Permalink
1/10

So bad it is worthy of MST3K all 10 star reviews are jokes

First of all, any 10 star reviews are posted by some juvenile twit thinking it would be funny to trick someone into watching this piece of trash. This thing is so horribly and cheaply done it deserves a rating of about -25 stars. Everything is wrong with it, it is literally at a junior high school level, except the acting isn't quite up to that quality. I can't help but think that Breen inherited way too much money and gets his jollies out of wasting it making literally the most amateurish movies EVER made. There is no possible way this review could contain spoilers for this movie, as is is all completely putrid and stupid. It is like saying you could spoil a turd, you can't. It truly is difficult to quantify what a crap show this thing is, it reminds me of when SCTV or other sketch comedy shows would have a bit like Monster Chiller Horror Theater with some movie with terrible writing, acting, etc. The scary part is I think Breem is actually so crazy that he thinks he is making an actual movie worth watching, pretty pathetic to be that moronic.
  • gfrancis0
  • Apr 1, 2023
  • Permalink
10/10

👏BEST👏MOVIE👏EVER👏MADE👏

I Am Here... Now is greatest movie since Neil Breen's last greatest achievement, Double Down. Seriously though, those movies are objectively bad, but they transcend their badness so much you have genuinely enjoyment during watching. Definitely watch this movie with friends and alcohol.

Movie itself is very fascinating psychic study of Neil Breen himself. His obvious God complex joined with very black-and-white looking at the world through the lenses of ideology - in every scene you have somebody obviously good or obviously bad, and good people are in exposition as environmental activists, and evil people are corrupted government officials (which they state themselves) who are blocking clean energy just to get more money. All of this is joined together with two women protagonists, from which one develops romantic and erotic interest with Neil Breen, without exchanging one word with him.

Neil Breen is creating a self-insert-Mary-Sue-protagonist fanfic, but he came much further than posting his work of art in form of text into the internet. He created series of developed movies with almost non-existent budget. It's really something. If you are into so-bad-it's-good cinema, you should give him a try.
  • thesmilingcatofcheshire
  • Apr 20, 2020
  • Permalink
10/10

I am Here...Now - Movie Review

Neil Breen plays a cyborg alien Jesus in this movie and that alone is quite something isn't it? I mean, the symbolism is just off the roof in this and Breen myself gets his message out very vividly.

The Being (Neil Breen) is disappointed by its creation, the almighty being that created Man arrives on Earth in a human form and interacts with various troubled, wicked and sinful people on his journey to Vegas.

I Am Here….Now is a work of sheer breenius. It's a breathtaking thrill ride with plenty of symbolism and brilliance from the Breen.

If you haven't check this out yet, please….do.
  • MattBrady099
  • Jul 23, 2016
  • Permalink
6/10

Not as good as The last temptation of Christ

As soon as the movie starts we are left with all these questions. The director respects his audience enough to not just give the answers but to make them think knowing they are smart enough to figure it out for themselves.

The Being descends on earth to teach humanity a lesson or two. Lessons concerning drugs, gang violence, corruption and a disrespect for our environment.

Various techniques such as freezing people create a lively tableau vivant in which the main character moves and life itself comes to a standstill. In addition, there is brilliant foreshadowing that stimulates thoughts about the grandeur of existence.

When the movie finishes the viewers are left to wonder. What greatness did I witness? And where was this movie filmed?
  • mauritsschelvis
  • Mar 20, 2024
  • Permalink
1/10

I watched this with Sandy Peterson, and I hated it.

  • bergmanst
  • Nov 26, 2022
  • Permalink
10/10

Mastapiece

This is another work of art from the legendary Neil Breen. Anyone who rated this movie, no this revolutionary work of art below a 10 is an imbecile. Words cannot describe this beauty and has to be seen to be believed.
  • smartademide
  • Jun 7, 2018
  • Permalink
9/10

All hail Lord Breen

This may sound hyperbolic, but I firmly believe that so-bad-it's-good may be the most difficult film style to pull off. There's a limited pool of movies that even classify for the genre, and when they happen, it seems almost by fluke. You could never make another Troll 2 or Room no matter how hard you tried. The fact that Neil Breen has been able to amass such a vast body of work without gaining any sense of self awareness is a small miracle.

Not all poorly made movies are this fun to watch either. It's just loaded with so many details that offer laugh potential in every scene. Some awful acting here, terrible dollar store props there, ridiculous and self indulgent plot developments everywhere. You should make yourself watch one of these every so often to fully appreciate just how hard film making actually is, and how much even the most mediocre, straight to Netflix garbage is actually getting right. When you see something as simple as sound editing getting screwed up, you realize just how much you've come to take for granted.

So far I'm three deep into the Breen filmography. This movie sort of pales in comparison to the undisputed masterpiece, Fateful Findings, but has a more satisfyingly coherent plot than Double Down. All three have their merits though, and I wouldn't recommend skipping any of them.
  • youngcollind
  • Dec 19, 2021
  • Permalink
10/10

Masterpiece

This movie is great. Neil breen is the cyborg God that created humanity. He's disappointed by his creation and how they threat each other. The dialogue is great, the soundtrack, the acting. Everything is perfect. Watch this movie, you won't regrets it.
  • ruolukas
  • Feb 26, 2018
  • Permalink
6/10

Very Bad, Yet Very Enjoyable

Have you ever seen a movie and been like, This is a load of garbage. Well that is the same with I Am Here... Now. It is shot terribly the plot is convoluted and not well planned. But it has to be seen to be believed and believe it or not this is a film that can make you laugh, I highly recommend it and watch it with a friend, it makes the viewing experience way more fun!
  • budgeriguy
  • Oct 17, 2018
  • Permalink
10/10

Amazing movie!!!!!!

I love this amazing masterpiece!!! I love it!!! Great movie!!! 10/10
  • Neil-breen-fan
  • Jan 29, 2021
  • Permalink
10/10

Breen has done it... Again!

Another Neil Breen classic. Watch this alongside Fateful Findings and Double Down for a delightfully delicious three Breen salad of entertainment!
  • gundangirl
  • Mar 23, 2018
  • Permalink
10/10

Breen's most experimental and heady film. But it's my favourite one :)

While Breen's staggering filmography has wowed audiences for years and always seemed to have something for everyone to enjoy, none have quite been the black sheep that I Am Here.... Now has become. Featuring seemingly endless shots of sprawling deserts, strange mystical happenings, plenty of babes, blood, crime, pooping dolphins and other magical things that are beyond the average human cinematic mind to comprehend, it can sometimes be a tough watch for the average Joe moviegoer. Luckily I'm a genius and a seasoned cinemaphile so it wasn't as challenging. I've written essays analyzing the all time greats. More than this though, I have patience and it does help here. The ten minute scene of the girls playing naked in the pool may put some viewers off, but not me. The endless belly laughter caused by some of the more comedic scenes was painful at times, but I got through it. The raw street violence of the Las Vegas criminal underbelly depicted here was shocking but powerful. I found this film to be a nice breezy watch compared to anything Gaspar Nöe has ever done. Neil Breen isn't the greatest filmmaker of all time, but I applaud him for many things. One of them is that he never made Enter The Void... yuck. Good job Neil! You're not the worst and you never will be. This film may be your least popular and it constantly repeats shots that we've seen before but I still love it! Keep making your films your way and I'll keep watching :)
  • mattflohr
  • Sep 24, 2023
  • Permalink
7/10

NOW.

  • BandSAboutMovies
  • Aug 22, 2023
  • Permalink

Baby heads.

This film was Neil Breen's little joke at the expense of those who didn't "get" Double Down (2005), ie that the latter was a descent-into-madness tale told from the perspective of a character who was clearly delusional at the outset. So he portrays a literal deity here and expounds everything to us.
  • admiraladama
  • Dec 15, 2018
  • Permalink
10/10

This movie is awesome!!!!!!

Neil Breen is back at it again with another awesome movie that you will enjoy thoroughly. Go grab your buddies, fill your beer pints and enjoy this masterpiece.

Neil Breen returns as a cyber-super-mega God (?) in this movie. He is excellent throughout and he helps the world while it tries to become a better place. With scenes that will give you the biggest laughs you will ever experience, excellent dialogue and a mind- boggling plot, this movie remains as my favorite Neil Breen work to this day. With a Birdemic like message, this movie teaches you how to interact with the earth, nature and the others around you. Aside from the message, the hilariously cut scenes made this movie hell of a lot better in my opinion. (The pool scene, the gang scene). Don't take this movie seriously, it's a lot of fun when you think of it as one of the Best-worst movies of all time. This movie is sure to bring joy to your heart and soul.

Neil Breen is an aspiring filmmaker and he really is trying to do something that he enjoys, and I really respect that. He funds his own movies, he plays the lead characters and he pretty much does all the work and he is awesome!
  • tytunckollu
  • Aug 6, 2017
  • Permalink
10/10

The best Neil Breen film yet.

I'm disappointed in your species, the human species.
  • Resurrectn
  • Feb 6, 2018
  • Permalink
10/10

Perfect Film

I love this movie.

I have no idea what the names of the twin sisters are, but I am led to believe one is named Amber and one is named Cindy...? One wears a pink shirt and the other wears a white shirt. White shirt has a boyfriend who I assume is the Aron alluded to in the credits. All of the female characters wear the exact same shirt in different colors.

Neil Breen himself plays Alien Techno Zombie Jesus who created the planet Earth and is upset with humanity for not being good despite the fact that he has been completely neglecting all parts of the world outside of one area of Las Vegas, Nevada, as if Las Vegas is the center of human civilization on planet Earth.

No, not because of any technical skill. In fact the movie technically is a piece of garbage. But this film is quite possibly one of the most harmless and inoffensive films to watch with friends to laugh at. One of the most entertaining So Bad It's Good films ever.
  • consuelohigdon
  • Jun 21, 2016
  • Permalink
10/10

THREE Thumbs Up!

  • piercebourgeois
  • Mar 5, 2018
  • Permalink

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