Meteor Apocalypse

Avoid this film at all costs. It is unbelievably awful. I rented it thinking it would just be some mediocre sci-fi flick to watch late one night when I was bored, but I was very wrong. It's not just bad. It's horrendously awful. I never finished it and probably won't. An unwatchable bore with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Bad writing, bad acting, bad directing, bad, bad, bad. Did I leave anything out? I get the feeling that there is some sort of religious theme lying in wait, but I did not actually wait to find out. I only took the time to review it here to save any unsuspecting viewers from wasting their time or money on it. Guess I'm an altruist of sorts.

Streaking through space at immense speed, extra-terrestrial rocks seem to have it in for famous landmarks. First they head to Nevada to attack Vegas and nearby Lake Mead. Other famous sites all over the world soon get smashed as well. In between, meteorites zero in on cars and zap them just for fun.

The cast were fine; it's just that this disaster movie's writer seems to think that meteors target objects on the ground like birds of prey would do. Visually interesting, but about as likely as four poker players all being dealt royal flushes on the same hand in an honest game. The meteors shower down after (insert routine plot device here), and it makes the water icky, so carry lots of bottles water. It makes you get sick, especially when you're running around in the desert. Oh, what in blazes was up with the dune buggy chase? It looked like one of those old go-cart racetrack joints you go to when you're 12 years old. Also, it made no sense at all.

Not to be taken seriously, but entertaining in its silly exaggerations. Be advised to remove your cranium and store it in bottled water while watching.

The Asylum put this piece of space junk on film, and as usual for The Asylum it's a real piece of trash: an almost worthless would-be disaster flick, chock full of cheesy acting and cheesier special effects. The storyline sees a gigantic meteor heading towards Earth: boffins decide to try to blow it up, but all they succeed in doing is making tons of meteorites hit the Earth and blow up various places.

What this all boils down to is the usual rugged hero and his pretty sidekick attempting to outwit and evade human villains alongside the killer meteorites, which seem to have some kind of homing ability in the way that they're constantly chasing after our heroes. If you've seen one CGI meteorite strike you've seen them all, so after about ten minutes this film becomes boring in the extreme. Claudia Christian (THE HIDDEN) appears in a minor role.

This film is so bad I had to watch it all the way through, the effects, I have avoided the word special on purpose, are hilarious, there will never be enough hours in the day to describe how bad this film is. The leading lady idea of acting was to pant more when she was out of breadth. Loosing a few pounds of her hips would not have done any damage. As for the leading man, he would be wise to seek work as a stunt double for Daniel Craig. The cheapness of the sets are beyond belief, most of the central part of the film appear to have been shot over a weekend on a disused factory lot. The bit at the end when the hero is looking for his family and the mountain off screen is "attacked" by the meteors is really funny I won't mention the ending but it's so bad it's good and what happened to his traveling companion. Priceless.

This film is terrible in so many ways. Poorly acted, horrible direction, a plot line where the characters do ridiculous things.

But all that has been covered in other reviews here. What mystifies me is that this was released by a company called "Faith Films", with the DVD cover quoting Revelations, talking about a biblical prophecy and the End Times. None of that is mentioned in the film! There is one brief mention of going to church early in the movie, and later there is a pastor that helps some people. Those are not strong plot points, not highlighted or emphasized in any way. So what does "faith" have to do with this silly disaster movie? Nothing.

I tried to go to the Faith Films web site, and my anti-virus software blocked it, saying it may contain scam material. That could be a false blockage, but it kind of fits, considering the film really has nothing to do with Christianity, in spite of the DVD cover indicating otherwise. I guess that is a scam, too.

Anyway, the film is only worth watching if you want to mock how bad it is. For example, when the main character ends up in the desert for no particular reason. What?