How does a town of 500 people just disappear? Marnie Rose, the niece of the town's church pastor is plagued with a life of abuse and neglect for all of the nineteen years she has resided in ... Read allHow does a town of 500 people just disappear? Marnie Rose, the niece of the town's church pastor is plagued with a life of abuse and neglect for all of the nineteen years she has resided in the small town of Spoon River with her best friends as her only saving grace. Things begin... Read allHow does a town of 500 people just disappear? Marnie Rose, the niece of the town's church pastor is plagued with a life of abuse and neglect for all of the nineteen years she has resided in the small town of Spoon River with her best friends as her only saving grace. Things begin to change however, when new neighbors move in just down the street and Spoon River Univer... Read all
Photos
- Carol Johnson
- (as Jeanne Marie Tidwell)
Featured reviews
I can't dunk too much on this film, since it was a vanity project by a high school woman who had no idea what she and her friends were doing. I mean, when I got out of high school I was working fast food and riding the bus, not making an unwatchable movie. Privilege does allow for different paths to be taken, but dang use your privilege better!
Anyway, we follow Marnie, the plain Jane average girl in a city of 500 (?!) people where just about everyone is rich and cruel to her. No, this film was not filmed in a beautiful suburb in Miami that may or may not host films of the pornographic variety. But I digress. A new group of Hot Topic dressed weirdos come into town led by the evil and seductive Bianca, who has some strange love connection to her Tommy Wiseau-ish boyfriend Raphael. Hijinks ensue as people start dying and absolutely no one suspects these people who clearly have no jobs and spend their days at home. But I guess everyone is too busy to be bothered in their palatial and spacious homes as residents are disappearing and dying. Man small towns do suck.
With this being a direct knockoff of young adult fiction, the tropes follow pretty closely. Bad boy is super hot and falls for the average girl even though he is way out of her league, evil relative that killed the protagonist's parents tries to kill main characters, goofy friends get killed off by the love interest, supernatural "battle" occurs, tons of emoting, overly clean sex scene happens and of course random emo music video in the film. WTF.
I love this piece of garbage, but I have to honestly give it a 1. It's so terrible that I wish the woman who dreamed this up made a legit sequel. Anyway, that is all!
The dialog comes across as written by someone who's never actually had a conversation before. The acting has two modes: flat and scenery chewing. The sound design is atrocious. Often actors in the same scene sound like they were recorded in different rooms, one will be muddy, the other echo-y.
Honestly, there are some great laugh out load moments, interspersed amid lots of nothing happening. It might be more watchable if you jump ahead five minutes every so often.
Not really a spoiler, but I would have been much happier if Frantisek Mach had electric nipples....but alas, no.
Did you know
- GoofsAt about 13 mins, after the man has had the life force sucked out of him, he falls, apparently unconscious or dead, but in the next shot his legs have changed position.
- ConnectionsReferences La famille Addams (1964)
- SoundtracksI Don't Bleed
Written by Ginger Ly-Salem, Steve Salem, and Shayne Leighton
Performed by Shayne Leighton
Details
Box office
- Budget
- $650,000 (estimated)
- Runtime1 hour 37 minutes
- Color
- Sound mix
- Aspect ratio
- 1.85 : 1