Alien: Battlefield Earth

This movie was a kindergarten graduation project. All animations and CGI were hand-drawn by children.

I give it a rating of negative two million on a one to ten scale....

I approached this movie thinking "it can't really be that bad, can it?" No. No, it's way worse, and then some.

It's just a lot of disjointed stock and public footage (including recent anti-vax protests mentioning real people's names), repeated several times to make the movie longer, literal Zoom calls, and below-modern video game renders with I can only guess a collection of random 3D assets one of the creators just happened to have. I cannot shake the feeling some of the renders are just stolen, due to how inconsistent the assets and even framerates are.

I would hope seeing a buff alien in a wheelchair, Latin symbols on alien devices, and a goddamn dragon all within 5 minutes would be at least strange enough to be funny, but no.

Text-to-Speech is used for a LOT of dialogue. Human actors are occasionally worse.

Writing is pretentious and cliché as one would expect. Racist, too, which is ironic and sad given the plot.

It's so bad it crosses "so bad it's good" at near light speed, rams into "bad again" and then drills in the bottom for an hour until it reaches a long time nuclear waste storage facility. You've been warned.

It looks like it was shot with a Galaxy S3 phone that hadn't been updated. The acting was forced. The CGI was on par with that from the 70's. Just terrible. If you had the money you could have had a decent cast and better tech to shoot this like it should have been. The premise and basic story was good. But the execution failed miserably.

This is very bad. Its got the worst daytime TV "acting". The men are worse than the women but the women hit every clichéd stereotype 🙄. The costumes are terrible, you can see seams!!!

Right, well I have to be bluntly honest and say that I harbored zero expectations for the 2021 sci-fi movie "Alien: Battlefield Earth" when I stumbled upon it here in 2022.

First of all, I had never heard about the movie, and the title alone was just oozing with low budget and questionable sci-fi. But I have to admit that I was really intrigued by the movie's cover/poster, because it looked really interesting.

Needless to say that the movie's cover/poster was the best thing about the entire ordeal. Sad but true. And also needless to say that the movie's cover/poster over-sells the movie by several miles. The movie was nowhere near what the cover/poster insinuated.

The storyline in "Alien: Battlefield Earth" certainly had potential, but it just felt half-hearted and sort of rushed. So while writers Andrew Jones and Sharon Jones were on the right path, the movie was a swing and a miss.

And to make matters worse, then the CGI used for the aliens was just downright abysmal to look at. It was like something from a mid-2000s computer game. The animation was wooden and rigid, and I was laughing so hard at the lack of animation on the mouths when the aliens spoke. Sure, I suppose it was supposed to be telepathy, perhaps, but come on. And needless to say that the aliens in the movie looked nothing near as interesting as they did on the cover/poster. It was as if the CGI department were cut short of funds before adding the detailing textures and finishing animations.

The acting performances in "Alien: Battlefield Earth" were every bit as wooden and rigid as the poor CGI. But hey, I suppose the actors and actresses were having fun making this project come to life.

It is movies like "Alien: Battlefield Earth" that give the sci-fi genre a bad reputation, and also why I am usually hesitant to sit down to watch sci-fi movies.

If you enjoy sci-fi movies, do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this one from director Andrew Jones. It simply isn't worth the time, money or effort.

My rating of "Alien: Battlefield Earth" lands on a one out of ten stars.