- Marni: I got to admit, the first few rounds went to Joanna. She played some very good hands. Very good, but I'm glad. It made me realize that we have to take it a step up. Take it to a whole new level.
- Ben: Whoa. "We"? No, she's your arch nemesis. I'm not going to be part of your evil plan to bring down Joanna.
- Marni: I'll give you 20 bucks.
- Ben: Done.
- Joanna: ...let's be honest, you can only run a suicide hotline so long before it starts to take its toll.
- Ben: Do you still have that number ?
- Gail Olsen: Ben !
- Joanna: [Marni walks outside, looking for Joanna, finding her sitting down at an out-door table] JUST GO AWAY! OKAY?
- Marni: Look, I, I didn't intend-...
- Joanna: YOU... have got a lot of nerve. You know that?
- Marni: I'm sorry, I've got a lot of nerve? Because you're the one who came in here pretending like nothing had ever happened, pretending like we didn't even know each other.
- Joanna: And Tim?
- [Standing up]
- Joanna: How did you know about that?
- Marni: I didn't know Tim was a freak. None of us did.
- Joanna: Please. It's why you invited him. But that video? Now, that was genius. You know...
- [Walking down the stairs to Marni's level]
- Joanna: ... I really underestimated you. I thought we could start over, but no. You were so completely stuck in the past that you just couldn't let it go, could you?
- Marni: Hey! I wanted a real apology and I deserved one.
- Joanna: It was High School.
- Marni: You don't get to belittle this! Do you have any idea what all those years of torment did to me? Everyday after school, I came home feeling horrible about myself, thanks to you. You can't just ruin someone's life and pretend like it didn't happen.
- Joanna: You just ruined my life! Do you get that?
- Marni: That fact that you're standing here right now, asking me to feel sorry for you... is priceless.
- [She turns around and walks away]
- Joanna: Oh, I'm sorry, are you walking away from me?
- Joanna: [Still walking away] Uh huh
- Mark Olsen: I love Switzerland!
- Gail Olsen: You've never been to Switzerland.
- Mark Olsen: Yeah, but I love chocolate. I love cheese. I love clocks.
- Gail Olsen: You have been playing me since the moment you walked in my house-...
- Ramona: Playing you?
- Gail Olsen: Why? What happened between us? Tell me.
- Ramona: You honestly don't remember?
- Gail Olsen: I remember everything!
- Ramona: You don't remember that we were best friends and then all through high school, every single time, I was runner up to you?
- Gail Olsen: Runner up to me? Ramona, it wasn't a competition!
- Ramona: Of course, it wasn't, you always won!
- Gail Olsen: I won because they voted for me!
- Ramona: Do you remember cheerleading? You made me try out, you got on the squad, I got laughed out the door.
- Gail Olsen: Oh, come on, you were great!
- Ramona: Oh, please. And let's not forget about "Grease". You knew how badly I wanted to be Sandy, but no, of course, you just had to audition.
- Gail Olsen: I always wanted to be in a musical, Ramona, always!
- [Begins walking away]
- Ramona: [Following Gail] Oh, please, you don't even sing! You were already Prom Queen, you were already Head Cheerleader. Drama was supposed to be mine, but no, you didn't think about me. All you cared about when you got to high school was you.
- Gail Olsen: Oh! What was I supposed to do, Ramona? Slow down so you can catch up?
- Ramona: [Pushing Gail] That's mean!
- Gail Olsen: [Pushing Ramona back] Don't push me!
- Ramona: [Pushing Gale back] Don't you! Don't!
- [They continue to push each other until they both fallinto the pool, screaming]
- Gail Olsen: [Violently splashing at each other] YOU'RE INSANE!
- Ramona: YOU STOLE RICHIE PHILLIPS FROM ME!
- Gail Olsen: Richie Phillips from High School?
- Ramona: [Violently splashing Gail] I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM!
- Gail Olsen: YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH HIM?
- Ramona: And you went to the Prom with him!
- Gail Olsen: He asked me, Ramona!
- Ramona: YOU WERE MY FRIEND! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO! That's when I knew I could never count on you! I promised myself that I would never let anyone make me feel the way you did! You know what? I should thank you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have worked so hard and I wouldn't achieved what I had.
- Gail Olsen: Well, good for you.
- Ramona: Oh, come off it! It just makes you crazy that I've, that I've done all this and I look so good!
- Gail Olsen: You know what, Ramona, honestly, I'm proud of you. I am proud of what you accomplished in your life. I think you've done amazingly, but my family is my accomplishment. So, I'm not jealous of you. I have a family, they love me! I'm happy!
- Ramona: Yeah, happiness isn't everything.
- Gail Olsen: Okay, I'm outta here.
- [Starts to leave]
- Ramona: I was jealous. You had it all and you were pretty. You were smart, everyone wanted to be your friend. Just seeing you the other night with all your family just... reminded me of... my marriages haven't worked out and... Joanna's all I have. Now, you wanna take her away, too, and I knew that it would happen as soon as I found out... that she was marrying your son.
- Gail Olsen: I'm sorry, Ramona. Honestly, and, and I, I should have been a better friend, obviously. I knew what I was doing. I was... so busy... being Gail Byer and everything that that meant, I, I just, I was insensitive. I wasn't a good friend and I'm, I'm sorry.
- [They both laugh]
- Gail Olsen: I can't believe... I gotta makeover because of you.
- Ramona: [Smiling, happily] You did?
- Gail Olsen: [laughing] Of course, I did. I almost got hair extensions. Your hair flips around and I was jealous.