Total Recall : Mémoires programmées

...just got back from the new Total Recall.

I, as probably everyone seeing this movie, were big fans of the original Arnie/Verhoeven epic. It still stands as one of the finest examples of sci-fi/action that exists on celluloid.

That being said, I was leery of this remake for pretty much all the same reasons already mentioned by others, foremost being: WHY REMAKE IT?

THAT being said, i was curious enough about the cast to give it a shot.

First off the good: Kate Beckinsale is pretty good as the combination of Michael Ironside and Sharon Stone from the original. She plays crazy psycho wife really well, and her relentlessness was fun to watch.

The FX on screen are pretty spectacular. That city, and the whole elevator between the 2 continents was really really neat, in both concept and execution. The evil robots were kinda menacing and cool, too. And the art direction and set design were top notch.

John Cho actually has a pretty cool cameo, as well.

The bad:

Expecting Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel to be able to carry a movie. Seriously these 2 are about as exciting as milquetoast. I found myself falling asleep during pretty much most scenes that focused on these two. Really the movie's success hinges on these 2 actually being compelling to watch. They aren't.

Bryan Cranston and Bill Nighy do what they can with what amounts to 2 glorified cameos, but they really don't have much to work with. Cranston seems to be having fun, but they both deserve better.

The overriding sense that one comes away with from TOTAL RECALL 2012 is Mediocrity. This flick is the very definition of mediocre summer flick.

It's not terrible, but it's also highly forgettable.

Which is my issue with all of Wiseman's films. At this stage i have a large enough sample size, now.. I will never again pay money in the theatre for anything this guy does.

Despite all of the action sequences, Total Recall is pretty bland. They've removed all of the fun, all of the camp and all of the Mars out of this remake and what is left isn't as interesting. The futuristic technology is interesting and Kate Beckinsale actually makes a good villain, but this movie just goes to show that better visual effects don't make a better film.

I guess the floodgates are now open. Adapting Philip K. Dick's stories are no longer enough, and now a trend may follow either to remake the films that have already been done, to give it another spin for a new generation, or how about remaking all of the films starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, starting from Conan, and now Total Recall. For sure, Colin Farrell can't step into the ex-Mr Universe's hulking frame in playing the construction worker turned double agent Douglas Quaid through what would seem like a fantasy walk in the park for the mind gone all wrong, but if you'd put away your memory of the past film, then his outing here would stand out against his recent slate of projects, bringing him back to action-hero mould even if Len Wiseman's vision here turned a little bit suspect.

Fans of the original film will see only slight similarities in this one, since it took on a different adventure altogether after the familiar introduction. Quaid experiencing a nightmare of a dream only to wake up beside the sexy wife in Lori (Kate Beckinsale, in a role played by Sharon Stone previously, in lingerie no less), and finding that there's probably more to life than just home and work. Enticed by the fantasy inducing company called Rekall where one can live out one's fantasy for a fee, Douglas soon discovers he got more than he bargained for. The contraption's design got brought over, and so did the cult favourite in the three breasted woman, which Singapore back then didn't get to see at all because our censors found it offensive and unreal. The identity mask also has another go, although with less fun, being solely functional and little else.

But what was sorely missed in this remake, is the quip after quip of Arnie-isms, those puns made each time Douglas Quaid did something smart alecky, dispatched an opponent, or just wanted to drawl on something in his Austrian accent. In the typical Arnie movie, there's always room for fun, jokes, and those legendary one liners. Here, all we get are dead serious moments, with the whole look and feel being laden with the need to feel all gritty. Colin Farrell wears a scowl throughout, being perplexed and confused about his true identity in Jason Bourne style complete with mysterious artifacts stored in a safe deposit box, and having doubts to the role he has to play in the entire battle between the Haves and Have Nots.

This Total Recall requires that you junk all memories of the Schwarzenegger film, in order to enjoy the new narrative involving a chemical fallout across all lands save for Britain and parts of Europe now being part of a Greater Britain, and Australia, known as The Colony (yes, some slight historical references here). There's no Mars this time round, as the story gets set strictly on Earth, involving a carnival styled train service that commutes between the two territories, having to pass adjacent to the Earth's core, for some nifty CG effects involving gravitational force reversal.

CG seemed to be what Director Len Wiseman ordered for the film, with green screen effects and CG laden landscapes peppering the entire movie, that makes you wonder about the tagline "What is real?" indeed. It's big on action sequences and slight on actual story, with pauses only to allow the film to breathe a little, before embarking on yet another stunt sequence that involves plenty of running for Douglas Quaid, and his new found love interest / revolutionary partner Melina (Jessica Biel), as they escape from rooftops to elevators, pass through deadly three dimensional elevator shafts and tunnels, fighting their way past synthetic troopers ala Star Wars. It does get pretty generic after a while, that these sequences all start to look very much the same, and probably a Star Wars: Clone Wars episode gone wrong.

Also for the tagline of "What is real?", this remake doesn't really keep you in suspense in a what is, and what is not thought, because for this new generation of audiences, Len Wiseman probably considered it best if everything was spoonfed. So there's no need to guess, and everything got explained verbatim, that you'd know whether it's real, otherwise, and just about every plot and character twist being laid out for all and sundry. Between the two female leads, Kate Beckinsale got more screen time for obvious reasons, though it's not everyday that we get to see her in a negative role. It's clearly expanded here, with her Melina being something of an amalgam of the roles played by Sharon Stone and Michael Ironside as the relentless pursuer of Douglas Quaid, adamant in hunting him down and finishing him off, against orders.

Ultimately, Total Recall 2012 is one big amusement park ride. This will probably be enjoyable for anyone in for an average CG action adventure extravaganza and have no knowledge of the fun blockbuster the first one was, but for the rest of us who have seen Paul Verhoeven's version, this one definitely pales in comparison, in story, action and just plain fun. And Arnold Schwarzenegger was in his prime then, with big shoes that didn't get filled this time round.

Though it boasts impressive special effects and decent--if increasingly repetitive--action sequences, the re-make of 'Total Recall' is ultimately undermined by a weak script and dull performances.

Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston are all solid actors, but their performances here lack energy and charisma. Even though the film was attempting to strike a more serious tone than the original, it's no excuse for the nearly comatose acting on display here. It doesn't help that the script fails to supply them with even a semblance of humor or wit. Most egregious of all, it fails to do anything fresh or original with the premise.

Ironically, 'Total Recall' ends up being utterly forgettable.

Fond memories of Paul Verhoeven's "Total Recall" kept coming back while watching this remake. Arnold Schwarzenegger's screen presence was also an added plus in the 1990 film, as well as the one-liners, Mars and of course heaps of bloody violence. If you've seen the original, then you know how it goes.

Len Wiseman's remake of the same name replaces Arnold with Colin Farrell, in his first lead action role in years, while eliminating Mars as the backdrop of the action and replacing it with an overpopulated Earth where transportation from one corner to another occurs, literally, straight through the center of the earth. The rugged subterranean mazes of the red planet is replaced with dizzying skyscrapers and lots of sleek, flying cars, not unlike Philip K. Dick's own "Blade Runner" and "Minority Report".

Farrell can act and is definitely a strong action lead and it shows here, as per the beautiful ladies Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel who both show off brawn over beauty here. Alas, everything is taken way too seriously in this version. I have fonder memories of the Verhoeven/Arnold version where one-liners come post-Arnie-kill. Gone. Certain characters are trimmed or even cut completely from the original. Bryan Cranston's Cohaagen makes me miss Ronny Cox even more, and Bill Nighy's resistance leader doesn't stand out compared to the 1990 film. The best thing the screenwriters did is to combine Sharon Stone's and Michael Ironside's characters from the 1990 film into one, and as portrayed by Kate Beckinsale, she kicks serious ass here.

The script is a near complete rehash of the original, save for the setting and the final act of the film. The scene where Bokeem Woodbine's character tries to convince Quaid (Farrell) where he's still in a dream is certainly a standout scene which was very well done. Alas, the majority of the movie is laced with action sequences and sensational special effects (seriously, this is CGI porn) that may get this film a nomination for Best Visual Effects this year. No kidding. While the editing is fast-paced and the cinematography sleek (with a little too much lens flare ala J. J. Abrams), the music score by Harry Gregson- Williams was kind of bland in my opinion. It was just there, does its job, and I didn't care. Where's Marco Beltrami; or even for that matter his legendary mentor, the late, great Jerry Goldsmith when you need them?

Director Wiseman has a knack for action sequences ("Underworld", "Die Hard 4") and it shows aplenty here. Sadly the script could've been a whole lot better, but then again, if they had set it on Mars it would've been a shot-for-shot remake with better characters, but still I would've loved to see action on the Red planet once again. The PG-13 rating is justified, and there are indeed little homages to the original, but overall this remake is nothing more than a fast-paced, popcorn munching good waste of time, with some really nice CGI to chew on.

However, I'd rather watch the old one again. Arnie has a much stronger screen presence than Farrell and it is much more ambitious and has more heart than this sleeker, newer one.

Overall rating: 53%