User reviews

Plot

A recent college graduate and her estranged high school friends return to Lantern's Lane, the location of an evil urban legend and must fight to survive the night.

Cast

Not familiar with anyone involved.

Verdict

I grew up with slashers, I remember the days they were the biggest sub-genre within horror but they were gradually phased out as the popularity waned and I'd imagine that happened because they became predictable, uninspired and they saturated the industry too much.

You'd think for this reason they'd hold a place in my heart but truth be told though a horror fanatic, slashers are one of the weakest sub-genres for me.

For this reason I went into Lantern's Lane assuming the worst, though I did like the killers mask here.

It's everything you expect when going into a slasher, the tropes, the cliches, but oddly not the kills. You see the character roster is low therefore picking them off one by one was never really on the cards and this slasher essential finds itself lacking. How can a slasher lack kills? It makes up for it in other areas right? A thinking mans slasher perhaps? Nope, it's a bog standard unoriginal one that just doesn't offer one of the few things such a movie absolutely positively needs.

Lanterns Lane is lazy, lacks the basics and brings nothing to the table.

Rants

You know I despise the Scream series, okay fine the first was watchable but they went down a predictable uninspired generic route double quick and I lost interest. Then the modern ones with Ortega came out and I disliked them for a different reason, the lack of believability to comedic levels. What I mean by that is that being a stabbed seems to be more of an inconvenience than a threat to life. You will see characters get stabbed repeatedly, the blade pulled up through the persons flesh as if they're being disemboweled and they manage to flee and are seen later simply with a bandage on. The last movie especially was laughable to next level degrees, even the one character near the end who got stabbed easily two dozen times by both killers simultaneously was on a gurney moments later laughing, joking and kissing his girl!

The Good

Killer looked okay

The Bad

Predictable stuff Very bland Simply not enough kills/horror.

In 99% of this stinker, nothing happens. It's some people sitting and talking. That's all. Once the "killer" arrives, the killer just sort of strolls around a little and make a halfhearted attempt or two at a stab. The identity of the killer is obvious from the start. It is boring, very boring. I've seen more action in a cemetery. Do yourself a favor and watch grass grow. It will be a more exciting night than watching this trash. On a good note, some acting was alright.

Man what a boring movie!! It's a shame too because it was acted pretty well by all involved but you've got to move a horror story along without all the waiting and lack of violence. It's pretty lame.

One final observation, when Jason is taunting the killer it's almost like he's doing a Charlie Day impersonation from Sunny in Philadelphia.

So, remember the Geico commercial that plays around Halloween? The one in which a group of teens decide to "hide behind the chainsaws" in a old shed! The Killer" appears behind them as they run out aimlessly into a dark field yelling "Head for the Cemetery"? Well, imagine now that same commercial of nothing bad decisions made in a horror film....this is that movie! You're welcome!

Open all your doors and windows and bust out the air freshener folks. This one's a real stinker. The perfect storm of bad dialogue, slow pacing, dumb characters, and acting so wooden it could only excite a termite. It seems to be billed as a comedy/horror. I saw no evidence of either. Not sure the point of this movie or how it managed to get made. Other than that it was awesome.

Gave it a chance at least but if you are a horror fan stay off. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my opinion. Absolutely nothing new and from the start you now who the killers are or at least after 30 minutes. Nothing happens before 50 minutes and then not much...

I honestly think reviews quoted 10 were made by the actor's parents.

This is one boring film. You also need to get rid of any logic to keep watching it.

Don't waste your time.

I have wasted my life... well a part of it watching this movie. Will I ever get this time back ??? Noooo... Well I suppose all actors have to start somehow. But I just wish I had skipped this film altogether and went and done something less boring instead.

Its insane that we are almost in 2022 and movies like this one unoriginal, bad acting and bad at everything are still getting made and sadly have an audience.

I have no clue how this movie was ever made. Don't waste your time. This movie was so poorly acted my dogs got up and left the room. It's barely even a slasher film so whoever the hell said it was good or scary has to be paid to say that. I'm not going to even bother breaking down how badly the movie was written or the dialogue, definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen, 90 mins I'll never get back.

-The movie started out slow. Very slow. I almost turned it off, but decided to hang in a bit longer.

-At first, even the acting was not so good. The whole pretense and idea of the movie was a bit lame. - --However, I will say that half way into the movie, when they realized the prank was real, the movie picked up some momentum.

-- Ironically, as the movie progressed, the acting became a bit better too. The whole idea behind the prank gone murderous wrong, because someone moved on with their life and was no longer a newly high school graduated best friend, was completely stupefied and feebly scripted.

-- The movie was okay, not horrible, but not white knuckling scary neither.

This film not worth watching, the actors/actresses can't act and there's so many mistakes in this film it's bad! I've seen so many horrors in my time and this one is ranked down with the rest of the poorest horror films ever!

I wish I could give this half a star. But I couldn't so it gets a 1.

The acting is so terrible. The first 50 minutes is so boring and pointless and nothing happens that you pray for the killer to show up and just kill them all because you just don't care who lives anymore at this point.

The killers costume is cheap looking and doesn't put any effort into really trying to hunt down and find them all. The kill are boring. None are note worthy.

I should have came here to look at reviews before watching.

This "movie" bombs. Horrible story, bad directing, & poor acting. I honestly can't think of 1 redeeming quality or nice thing to say about this. This wasn't at all scary, too predictable & unrealistic. You can't relate to the characters or their dumb decisions & you don't care what happens to any of them.

This film is quite a poor 'slasher' if you can call it that. The movie at best is an average generic slasher which you will have seen done better elsewhere. Nothing original. Poor to average acting. Very predictable twists and story which I guessed correctly around the 10-15 minute mark. Bland generic characters.

The interior of the derelict house they go to isn't too bad even though outside the hedges and grounds are well maintained. Well lit though so was easy to see everything. Decent looking wounds what there are of them. Yeah, I think that's about it for the positives.

Not an absolutely terrible film but It's not that good either.

So what is this somebody's high school class project or something because if so they get a D I would give them an F but they get a D for trying. Seriously though who makes these movies and who is supposed to be the audience? I started watching this movie because I like horror movies, thrillers and in the description it said this was an urban legend gone wrong but really it's just a movie that's gone wrong. Horrible acting, horrible music, horrible cinematography, extremely low budget do not waste your time.

The acting in this movie has to be the worst acting I have ever seen. How they let this thing be released to the general public escapes me.

Please do not waste your time. Watch another movie.

Good Slasher, i don't know why people didnt like it that much. The 1h30 were fast and the movie was pretty good, i maybe enjoyed it cause i'm young huh?

I'm not movie critic. I am a lifelong horror junkie and I can honestly say that this movie is not an instant classic by any stretch of the means, but it's not the worst slasher movie ever made either. I don't watch films with the intent of trashing and dismembering them either. So, with that being said, It was worth a watch, once.

Sometimes they are so bad they're good... this is not.

It's just really boring with bad wooden acting, nothing even happens the first 40 minutes, then finally the antagonist at least is introduced what feels like 20 minutes late (again at the 40 minute mark). It barely heats up when the danger arrives, I'm falling asleep and had to give the second half some time to finish the next day. The action, like the acting, is very wooden and "acting class" looking. Closing a door on the antagonist and they do these exaggerated stage-like arm swings through the crack in the door before it is fully closed. Again, super corny, but not funny-corny. The movie overall just comes across very low budget and badly acted, but not SO bad it's funny just typical crappy horror 2/10 bad acting but it won't build some cult following like "The Room" or something. Ending is anti-climactic and terrible, there is the "reveal", general yip-yapping about motivation or whatever, and resolution. Bad...