Snow Falls

I watched a really bad Argentinian horror movie yesterday which I also scored with a two (a low rating that doesn't happen often with me) so I thought this week couldn't get any worse. What was I wrong! Snow Falls was slightly better as for the quality of the images but the story, if you can call it that, was beyond dumb. It's been a while since I was so flabbergasted by a bad story. I won't spoil anything, if there's even anything to spoil here. The story is so dumb, some kids go on a trip in a luxuary chalet, with all the comfort, open fire, blankets, plenty of wood everywhere, and they still manage to talk about hypothermia whilst walking around in their tank top. You couldn't think of a dumber horror (that's what it's categorized as, you wonder why) movie. They supposedly run out of food after half a day but still have food at the end. Not to mention the blizzard, what a joke, there's more snow in frigging Spain. It looked like a nice cozy winter instead of a devastating cyclone bomb. Avoid this movie at all costs, except if you're a bit masochistic and like to be annoyed for one hour and thirteen minutes.

They have heat....... the entire movie is ignorant and mindless. The medical student would never make it in real life and should have been sacrificed and eaten. Whoever wrote the film should stick to basic children's books. There are multiple bedrooms throughout this big Ole cabin with thick blankets besides the fact they have gas as heat source. One of these clowns turns on stove, burns his hand and they magically forget about the gas stove and keep rambling how they are hypothermia after one day. There is a forest full of wood, house full of wood, plenty of alcohol to start fire besides fact THEY HAVE GAS FOR HEAT!

When a group of college friends go to one of their parent's cottages, at a ski resort called Snow Falls, for New Year's Eve...they end up getting trapped, with no power, little food, and a supply of firewood that they are burning through quick.

However, they still have a safe house...and blankets...and each other...

So when the one girl- traumatized by the dying words of her mother- takes over, with all these rules, designed to prevent hypothermia...all logic- and any semblance of common sense- is just thrown out the window.

Because...though, it would no doubt be cold. It wouldn't be to the point where they are actually hypothermic.

So the fact that she suggests they "don't fall asleep", only acts to make matters worse...as being sleep deprived would go to adversely effect their psychological state.

Which is what the entire premise of this film is based on.

As they can't even go three damn days before they all start tripping out.

Which is just as ridiculous as not falling asleep at all during that timeframe.

Because, they are quite literally surrounded by trees...yet make no attempt to collect firewood at any point.

Which would have solved all of their nonsensical problems.

Not to mention...THERE IS BARELY EVEN ANY FRIGGING SNOW...!?!?

For anyone who lives in an area where it snows...you'll look at the rate at which the CGI (ugh) snow is coming down...and be like...hey, how pleasant.

The filmmakers make zero effort to make it seem like they are actually stuck in a blizzard (the snow doesn't even go above the soles of their boots ffs).

So it's simply laughable.

And this is before they introduce the equally absurd theme of them thinking the snowflakes are infected by some sort of virus.

Which doesn't even make any damn sense.

Their paranoid delusions are, apparently, a result of the sleep deprivation...while their sleep deprivation is all based on one chick's idiotic direction...and them collectively being too stupid to collect firewood, despite wandering around outside amongst a plethora of very accessible trees.

Literally nothing in this film makes sense.

If the writers had half a brain, they would have just made the whole thing a cannibal flick...because the only actual problem they have is a lack of food...and even that is giving them the benefit of the doubt, because they still have food at the end!!!

The entire plot here is so stupid...it's flabbergasting.

Leaving me genuinely confused about what the creators were thinking when they constructed it.

Is the whole point of this film to frustrate you, with how frustratingly dumb these characters are?

Cause if that's not it...then I just don't get it.

Hopefully this isn't foreshadowing what kind of year 2023 is going to be like for horror.

Because this move is idiotic.

Talk about a bad start to the New Year...

1 out of 10.

Some of the worst writing and acting I have ever seen.

There is literally zero attempt to make it look like there is any snow in this snow storm. Not even a single try. The ground has a thing layer, enough to make a foot print, but that is it.

Then these morons make ZERO attempt to save themselves. They have a gas stove, only use it once, and then never again. They don't go out and get branches to burn or chop down one of the many trees to burn. They refuse to burn furniture or take down any of the WOODEN HOUSE like a banister or a door or anything because the rich baby said "MuH DaDdDy WiLl KiLl Me!!!11!" dude no parent would prefer their kid freeze to death instead of ruin a door or some chairs.

Then, the "medical knowledge". NOTHING in this movie is right. That is some of the ACTUAL worst writing in history. Literally nothing was correct.

One of the worst movies ever ever sat through. It is atrocious.

For a movie about snow, there sure isn't much of it. As many other reviews have already pointed out quite well, this movie fails on so many levels while still attempting to convince you it's succeeding. The radio announcement at the beginning preshadowed the quality of the remainder of the film. Not sure if it was just my copy, but the entire movie seemed oversaturated which pretty much killed any sort of creepy vibe they were attempting to go for. There were some good moments of atmosphere (not the weather kind) for which I gave it 2 stars rather than one. But seriously, next time someone comes up with a plot full of this many holes, maybe they should think again before trying to turn it into a movie. Snow falls, more like snow fails.