white meat, dark meat, we all lose
ThanksKilling isn't a movie, or at least one that I should've even had the displeasure to see. It's like the bulls*** created by a couple of teenagers with two six-packs and a busted turkey puppet they probably thought was a chicken at first. I would like to think that the director, Jordan Stewart, has never picked up a camera before, but he has, a short film called Craw Lake, and apparently attended a film school. I can only imagine what would've happened if he had come to the old Student Film Association that was at my old university where I went as an undergrad. He would've been laughed and/or berated off of the premises if he tried to pass this off as anything than a failed experiment.
The worst thing about this tripe is that it knows that it's bad but then tries to pass itself off as a horror comedy. The problem is, as one saw to a lessor extent with another killer food movie like The Ginger-Dead Man, you need to actually have clever jokes or have a wicked visual sensibility like a Peter Jackson in his early days. Downey and his collaborator Stewart don't have that. They have terrible hack-writing (and FIVE writers, guess they're preparing for Hollywood with that), bargain-basement acting, and even what they're supposedly professionals at- special fx- are weak at best; one shot of a dead guy with his intestines hanging out just looks like a bunch of sausage-turds hanging out - and the shot lingers for five freakin minutes!
I don't want to trash on filmmakers who are just trying to make it in with something that may be sub-par but maybe they'll be on their way some day, but... this guy isn't even in that ballpark. There's such a lack of talent that the mind boggles: this barely qualifies at a movie, clocking in at just a little over an hour (somewhat mercifully, though it could've even been *shorter* if they'd cut out a couple of very unnecessary things). It's one thing that we can't take it seriously, fine, whatever, one can have fun with a dumb horror comedy. But how does one have fun with something that is so smug and so in-your-face with its bad comedy and character-tropes. Even simple crap like lining up shots and eye-lines and the direction of where characters (or poultry) speak is off-kilter. The only good thing about this movie being in existence is that Eli Roth needs no worry over his proposed feature version of his Thanksgiving trailer from Grindhouse.
It's so bad that... I hopefully won't remember it tomorrow.
The worst thing about this tripe is that it knows that it's bad but then tries to pass itself off as a horror comedy. The problem is, as one saw to a lessor extent with another killer food movie like The Ginger-Dead Man, you need to actually have clever jokes or have a wicked visual sensibility like a Peter Jackson in his early days. Downey and his collaborator Stewart don't have that. They have terrible hack-writing (and FIVE writers, guess they're preparing for Hollywood with that), bargain-basement acting, and even what they're supposedly professionals at- special fx- are weak at best; one shot of a dead guy with his intestines hanging out just looks like a bunch of sausage-turds hanging out - and the shot lingers for five freakin minutes!
I don't want to trash on filmmakers who are just trying to make it in with something that may be sub-par but maybe they'll be on their way some day, but... this guy isn't even in that ballpark. There's such a lack of talent that the mind boggles: this barely qualifies at a movie, clocking in at just a little over an hour (somewhat mercifully, though it could've even been *shorter* if they'd cut out a couple of very unnecessary things). It's one thing that we can't take it seriously, fine, whatever, one can have fun with a dumb horror comedy. But how does one have fun with something that is so smug and so in-your-face with its bad comedy and character-tropes. Even simple crap like lining up shots and eye-lines and the direction of where characters (or poultry) speak is off-kilter. The only good thing about this movie being in existence is that Eli Roth needs no worry over his proposed feature version of his Thanksgiving trailer from Grindhouse.
It's so bad that... I hopefully won't remember it tomorrow.
- Quinoa1984
- Nov 26, 2010