- [first lines]
- Sarah Jane McKinney: [narrating] For a long time I'd walk into work convinced they all knew, they saw right through me. Me and my innocent act. Which never used to be an act, it's who I really was. I'd never do anything bad. Ever! I always imagined myself having a simple life. Find a nice guy, settle down, live happily ever after. Who would have thought looking for love would be so tricky? But like mom always said, Sarah Jane, ambition will put you in an early grave.
- Sarah Jane McKinney: [narrating] Joshua Nether, a walking, talking, sexual harassment machine. Like they said in Rome, live by the sword, die by the sword. Nether never knew what hit him. I had his number. All of his numbers. Social Security number, mother's birthday, and password.
- [last lines]
- Sarah Jane McKinney: [narrating] Would I do things differently knowing what I know now? Would St. George not have killed the dragon? I'd never be a saint. But we can't start over. There is no past. There is no future. We only have now. The rest, like mom always said, is karma. We get what we deserve.
- Sarah Jane McKinney: Mom was heartbroken when he ditched me at the alter. But really, St. George had sent another blessing in disguise. The blessing was the salad girl from Pizza Hut.
- [Frankie with salad girl]
- Sarah Jane McKinney: And her name turned out to be Dick.