L'attaque du crocodile géant

A crocodile farm in Thailand is threatened with closure after a few code violations. Behind this surprise inspection lies a real estate developer who wants the land where the farm sits. He will stop at nothing to get the land, even sabotaging the cages to let the crocodiles loose. And when local swimmers are being devoured, people start to notice.

My friend Chelsea and I watched this because she's been on a "bad movie" kick lately, and "Croc" was sure to fit that description, being part of the Man Eaters series (the same series that brought us the worthless "Blood Monkey"). I'm not sure if I was disappointed or not -- "Croc" is infinitely better than "Blood Monkey". Computer effects are used minimally, the acting is decent for the most part and there's an actual plot. And plenty of crocodiles, which was surprising after the absence of monkeys in "Blood Monkey".

I also have to give this film credit for not exploiting Michael Madsen. Madsen appears in the movie and plays a significant role (although he doesn't speak until the second half). Yet, the cover of the movie doesn't mention him at all. I've seen lower budget films exploit the names of mid-grade celebrities so often, I'm really impressed they decided to sell the movie with crocodiles rather than Madsen. Well played, "Croc" -- especially since this would have been an appropriate use for him.

The strength of this film is in the blood and guts. The makers of the film knew that they needed plenty of croc attacks and body parts, and we're treated to it. I also like how they explored a romance, but kept it to the bare minimum, making this more of a man versus beast picture. I learned from Sandra Bullock in "Speed" that relationships that develop during stressful events never work out.

Some things about the movie could be better. Some of the acting is poor (although not as much as you'd expect). And there's a scene with a crocodile in a swimming pool. How did he get to the pool? Can a crocodile hang out all day in a pool of chlorinated water? Granted, this scene ties up what would have been loose ends (watch it to see what I mean) with the plot... but what little I know about animal biology made this a bit hard to believe.

If you like animal-based horror pictures, let me say in all honesty: "Croc" isn't a bad choice and wasn't half as bad as I expected. It beats "Blood Monkey" by miles and even makes the boring "Prey" seem stupid. I'll always be a fan of "Jaws", but if you want a second-rate water movie (and you've seen "Megalodon") then this might be worth a spin. Hey, they made a "Croc 2" and who would make a sequel to a bad movie?

A 20-foot croc terrorizes Krabi, Thailand, while an egotistical mogul tries to put a private zoo out of business by blaming the croc attacks on smaller crocs from the zoo. Peter Tuinstra plays the protagonist, who runs the croc farm while Sherry Edwards appears as his romantic interest, an agent from the animal welfare department. Michael Madsen shows up in the second half as a formidable croc hunter.

"Croc" (2007) is a TV movie that only cost $750,000, but it's a surprisingly compelling crococator flick, all things considered. The highlight is the unique setting of west coast, Thailand, and life thereof. Sure, some of the acting by Asian unknowns is questionable, but if you roll with it, you'll get over it.

Tuinstra makes for a likable protagonist while Madsen does well in what is a cheap gig. The cast of women are interesting, but the filmmakers coulda done better as far as feminine appeal goes.

The film runs 1 hour, 40 minutes and was shot in Krabi, Thailand.

GRADE: B-/C+

Another in Sci-Fi (SyFy) channel's never ending quest to rip off famous monster movies with silly copies, and rip human victims to pieces to accomplish this.

Mutant crocs develop a taste for human cuisine, and run amok in some Asian coastal town. Victims rarely have names, but plenty of spurting red paint when a croc makes a Big Mac out of them. Few characters get even one click above nameless slaughter-meat: an animal welfare agent (who also handles animal social security and animal medicare), a croc hunter (a Capt. Quint clone from Jaws), a carnival barker guy who does a sea-life Shamu type show, carnival barker's moronic cousin, and a stereotypical sunglasses and black suit bad guy in a limo (who looks like he was supposed to be in a kung-fu movie, but got on the set for this one by mistake). Said baddie has countless stooges who end up as croc snacks, of course.

The acting is questionable, but I've seen worse. The director gives this routine hungry monster flick some good pacing, although the script writer has offered nothing new. The croc is just some Animal Planet footage, and the dozens of decapitated heads are obviously Halloween masks with red paint splattered on them. I did like the puppy's acting; his barking was very realistic. He and the croc are the standout performers.

You'll know two minutes in who's gonna get devoured, and the fact that this film will win no Oscar awards. It is however, good cinematic fast food, which is all it's trying to be.

Stuck with a series of professional crises, the owner of a croc farm and a group of locals team with a croc hunter to stop the rampaging crocodile leaving a trail of blood across Thailand.

This was overall a pretty decent killer croc film with some really good points about it. One of its better elements is the rather impressive amount of attacks throughout here which has a large pull on the whole film. There's a wide variety of attacks here, from the brief ones like the attack on the fishermen in the lagoon or the chomping on the dock to get at the dog which are built-off surprise ambushes and shocks, while the more prolonged sequences throughout here from the family's encounter in the bay or their hunting party's first encounter out along the off-shore reefs that really showcase a lot of action within this. Both of these situations give this one some great points here by really making for a frantic pace that keeps the film at a brisk, enjoyable pace by managing enough attacks and encounters to keep this one quite exciting. That all of these attacks also brings in some really worthwhile blood and gore from the chomped-on bodies and severed limbs makes for some really good times here which makes this hold up somewhat against the few problems here. The biggest issues here is the fact that there's way too many subplots and alternate story lines that just drag out the film in the first half. The different issues between the gang-boss and the animal zoo isn't the slightest bit interesting, almost as much as his difficulty with the personnel in his own gang and really drag the first half out with these pointless rivalries and internal squabbling. Otherwise, this one really has a bit of schizophrenia about its titular creature which is quite distracting how this deals with the beast. While it's commendable to use real-life crocs here, there's a series of shots which not only fail to get the species right but also manages to flip between different ages as well. This one is played for both alligators and crocodiles of vastly different species, and on top of that the monstrous beast is played by full-size adults and babies which is quite distracting against the CGI and animatronic crocodile props for a wholly unsatisfying creature. These issues hold this one down.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

Abominable special effects threaten to sink this Thai "Jaws" clone, until, mercifully the makers decided to give the croc a break and focus on some more convincing local themes that resurrect this film from total and utter decay. Owner/operator of a struggling Thai zoo (Tuinstra) finds himself up against more than just the local corrupt businessman (Junsook) and his crooked, petty criminal brother (Saetong) when a large salt water crocodile that has migrated from Australia threatens the tourist trade. Predictably, he elects to hunt the creature himself, with the aid of his long suffering sister (Healey) her son (Hazell) an animal welfare official (Phungprasert) and a peg-leg drunken fisherman whose motivations are noble (Madsen) in spite of the $50,000 reward offered for its destruction.

The first twenty minutes of this action-thriller are diabolically bad in almost every facet, and there is real cause for concern that the picture is going to descend to grade Z depths. Alas, somehow, the amateurish acting improves (relatively) and the narrative even shows glimpses of local content – Madsen's quest to avenge the deaths of "those who couldn't swim fast enough", reminded of their suspended souls through photographs he keeps in the cabin of his boat, is a nice touch. But despite his compassionate interior, what would a Michael Madsen character be without a prop or two, and typically, alcoholism is again his preference ("a shot of OJ in your vodka?").

The filmmakers spare little in their pursuit of shocks, whether it's children dragged into the depths in front of hysterical parents, randy teenagers snatched while they canoodle in the surf, or just a pair of no-good villains being dismembered in their own pool. Such is the variety of severed limbs, torsos, decapitated heads and decomposing corpses (check out the rigor mortis in the croc's "larder") that it's surprising that some enterprising local didn't open a spare parts shop. One scene in which a distraught gangster's girlfriend identifies butchered remains beggars belief; how she managed to identify him from the meat pate into which he was minced is one of the movie's unintended laughs (and there are others to enjoy). At least it's good to see local talent, locations and bystanders involved in the filmmaking process, exposure essential to growing a more commercial film industry in Thailand.