Staunton Hill

I thought that maybe, just maybe, some of George Romero's talent rubbed off on his son. Not a chance. Not that "pops" is a super talent like Kubrick,but at least he's found his niche with zombies. His son has not.

This film was nothing more than a blatant rip off of Texas Chain Saw Massacre with the usual bunch of Southern inbreds that we've seen repeatedly in other slasher movies.

Staunton Hill was a low budget, poorly written, poorly directed, poorly edited and overall poorly produced film. I believe that it went straight to DVD and if it was ever seen in a theater, the audience must've gone to sleep or left after the first 20 minutes. I would.

This flick had just the most ridiculous dialog, it dragged and dragged and made little sense. Plot holes that would suck in a solar system. Supposely, this yawn, I mean this yarn, had taken place in 1969. Whoever was the stylist (I'm assuming they had one)had totally missed the mark with period correct clothing and hair styles (accept for the black dude with the afro pick sticking out of his hair.)

Nothing was clear at all, including the reason for making this movie. The only reviewer's quote to appear on the DVD cover box was from George Romero. Not exactly objective.

I'm assuming that this was baby Romero's first attempt at film making. He gets a B minus for effort, and a slap on the back for a "better luck next time kid," if there is a next time.

What a blatant act of misinformation to leave out that its "Cameron Romero's" movie. Honestly I don't care for his fathers movie either so its just a hopeless way of selling a movie anyway. But i hate when they sell movies on such points... most of the time you know they are bad. And "Staunton Hill is a bad movie too. The plot is a regurgitation of the never ending "Backwoods horror" theme with and inbred family, cannibalism and torture. You get your car full of kids in the woods, a fat dumb slayer... everything was there a million times before. The acting is often very bad. When the black guy watches his girlfriend being dismembered I was laughing.

What is done pretty well in the movie are the gore effects but I have rarely seen a movie where these felt as displaced as in "Staunton Hill". The movie is incredibly boring for most of the time. The male characters get killed in a most uninspired and uninteresting fashion while suddenly female characters get a boost in their on screen time when they squeeze in a 10 minute dismemberment scene which shows every detail. What the hell were they thinking... its all a cash off. Put a misleading name in front of the title, include some gratuitous violence and then just end the movie when you don't know where to go with it.

Ignore!

With "Staunton Hill" being a horror/thriller, and with my long-running love for the horror genre, then of course I took the chance to watch "Staunton Hill" when I got the chance. I didn't know anything about the movie prior to sitting down to watch it, but still decided to give it a go.

I managed to make it through a staggering 49 minutes of prolonged suffering as I watched "Staunton Hill". Then I just simply gave up out of sheer and profound boredom. Very little happened through the 49 minutes that I managed to endure, it was quite boring and uneventful.

There was some good enough scenes at the farmstead with some bloody and gore-filled visuals. But that hardly managed to lift up the less than mediocre overall result that the movie turned out to be.

The characters in the movie were not particularly interesting, and they were actually generic, one-dimensional and lacking personality and layers. As such, it felt like watching cardboard cut-outs of the characters waltz around on the screen.

I can in all honesty say that I have no intention of returning to "Staunton Hill" to see if the movie picks up or not. Because from what I saw from the 49 minutes deterred me permanently. If you enjoy horror movies, then there are far, far better choices readily available in the horror genre.

As a true horror fan, coming across a movie that was made of no one less than Romero Jr., it was obvious that one had to see if directing can be inherited from father to son. And with no surprise, Romero Jr. decided to follow his father's path by using gut-wrenching gore as a major ingredient to make his mark on the horror scene. Then he had to come up with a story that meets most of the elementary requirements of the genre. Unlike his father, he decides to pick the raisins out of the cookie instead of exploring a new field that made daddy George world famous…. once upon a time! The entire plot of the story is taken from one single classic cult movie: Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Nothing wrong with that, however, when a director decides to make his/her own interpretation of a classic cult, it heightens the expectations! Despite high ambitions from the director, the move fails to deliver that particular suspense that is the very meaning of watching a horror in first place. My conclusive review of this movie is that in this day and age, and with the plethora of horror movies that are released on a daily basis, a lot more is needed in order to provide something that is worthwhile watching.

Staunton Hill follows a group of young friends hitchhiking their way to a rally in D.C., but when their paths cross with an all too eager to help stranger, their lives take a horrible turn. Their journey to the home of the Stauntons, a crazed redneck family who's involved in a very grisly, and blood soaked trade.

The storyline itself is your basic cookie cutter Texas Chainsaw Massacre type deal. You have it all from the racist gas station owner, the mysterious stranger who just wants to lend a helping hand, the abandoned farmhouse, and your over the top religious crazed hillbillies, one of which who happens to be retarded to some degree. The film takes a very long time to get anywhere. The buildup seems like it will go on forever, which caused me to lose interest quite a few times along the way. The directors attempts to show you bonds and relationships between the main characters falls short, and most of the time seemed like needless filler, only there to extend the films length.

Now the movie's only high point its beautiful special effects make up. The gore in this film is amazing, and stays true to the old school latex and buckets of blood formula that I will always love. That's right ladies and gentlemen, no CGI gore to be found in this flick, just good old get your hands dirty make up.

But in the end, the gore isn't enough to save this movie. I have to say, going in, I had high hopes for this flick, as a very big fan of George's I was hoping to see his son breathe new life into the namesake. Let's hope his next film is better than this ultimately weak attempt at a movie that's been way over done since the success of rob zombie's House of 1000 corpses.

2/5 - Ritualistic The Liberal Dead http://liberaldead.blogspot.com