- [first lines]
- Cael Malloy: Oh, shit!
- [calls Wayne on his cell phone]
- Cael Malloy: Hey! Yeah, I just got an email from umm Pete. You remember him? Yeah, he wants to come visit his friend Doug.
- Wayne Malloy: [answering the door] Hello?
- Pete Mincey: Hi. Is Doug here?
- Wayne Malloy: Doug? Doug who?
- Pete Mincey: [on the phone] You don't understand, we're really great friends. I was best man at his wedding. You know, the second one.
- Dahlia Malloy: [on the phone, pretending to be Jolinda] I hate to be the one to tell you this, Pete. But, Doug Rich was no real friend of yours.
- Dahlia Malloy: Do you ever get sick of lying?
- Wayne Malloy: This is not lying. This is creative reasoning.
- Dahlia Malloy: This lying is all we do now.
- [last lines]
- Pete Mincey: [to Wayne] So, Wayne, you and I both know you're not Doug Rich. But everyone here seems to think you are. Which leads me to a couple of questions: Who are you? And where the Hell is my best friend, Doug Rich?
- Dahlia Malloy: I can't do it. I can't do it. I want to do it for you. I can't be a buffer.
- Wayne Malloy: You're not a buffer. You're a traveler.
- Dahlia Malloy: Not anymore.
- Nina Burns: [to Dahlia, who is pretending to be Cherien Rich] You aren't in the witness protection program, are you? Because I've been thinking about it, and it just doesn't quite make sense.
- Dahlia Malloy: [pretending to be Cherien Rich, to Nina] You're my friend, Nina. I would never lie to you about that.
- Hugh Panetta: [to Wayne, who is pretending to be Doug Rich] I went to town, did some spirit stuff, cleaned myself right up.
- Wayne Malloy: [pretending to be Doug Rich] There you met...
- Hugh Panetta: It's Gigi. And she's a dancer.
- Hugh Panetta: [to Wayne, who is pretending to be Doug Rich] A miracle happened. I fell in love and I married her.
- Cael Malloy: [to Wayne] Dad, we have to do something. Dale came here for us. He's not going anywhere.
- Wayne Malloy: Dale seems to have been here for a while now. He could have blown our cover at any point. He didn't. Why is that?
- Cael Malloy: He's Dale. He's working an angle. I don't know.
- Dale Malloy: [to Wayne and Dahlia, who are pretending to be Doug and Cherien Rich] Howdy, neighbors?