- John Hogan: Plants are beautiful, but the problem is a lot of people like to smoke 'em, and if you don't smoke 'em you don't know what your missing out on.
- John Hogan: I wholeheartedly support the use of condoms in nursing homes for people who have forgotten about safe sex...
- John Hogan: Sound effect
- [Boing!]
- John Hogan: Because of alzheimers.
- John Hogan: [John Hogan stands behind a window curtain and then reveals himself] I'm John Hogan and I'm a politician.