Dard Divorce

My this is bad. So bad. Really I think some of these directors who make this kind of garbage need to go and watch a few movies to get a sense of how a film should be. It honestly looks as if this guy Olaf has never seen a decent movie in his life Maybe he thought it cool to have ten gallons of fake blood a bit of a latex, and to then throw out any old crap and call it horror, but he's sadly mistaken. Dard Divorce is one of the most amateurish pieces of wasted celluloid I've ever seen, with the word dard apparently meaning pain. Well it truly was a pain to watch this nonsense and I laughed out loud when the word first appears with a policeman saying they'll have to send it to the lab to find out what it means. Yes, it's really that good.

The leading "actress" here should go back to working at a fast food joint or something because I hope I never have to suffer her on my screen again. A low budget movie does not have to mean low quality acting. That's been proved many times in this genre. Horror fans are much more forgiving however when it comes to acting if there's some decent pay off in the end, Dard Divorce unfortunately didn't have any though.

I can at least say I got to the end of this tripe which I surely want a medal for. There's far too many idiots out there with a camera now thinking buckets of blood makes a good horror film. But what makes a good film is great acting and a bit of intelligence. At the end of the movie they couldn't even spell the name of the dead dog correctly on it's cross at the grave. Spelling Bonny (maybe Bonnie) as Bony lol. What a bloody mess indeed. Goodbye Dard Divorce forever.

Everything the two reviews above me has said are correct. Outside of some excellent gore/torture scenes, it's just a bad film.

I just wanted to add that the sound mixing was really, really terrible. The music was nowhere near good enough to overwhelm the film which it began to do about halfway through. There were some scenes where the music was so loud I literally couldn't hear what the actors were saying.

Of course that wasn't such a bad thing because the dialogue was terrible. It sounded like it was written by someone with a very tenuous grasp of English, perhaps learned via Baywatch reruns. All in all, don't bother unless you love gore and torture films, because that's what most of this film is.

After skimming through several bad reviews for this movie, I had low expectations, maybe that's why I enjoyed it as much as I did, that and the incredible gore.

While suffering from a rather slow start, it gets good once the gore gets going. There is some incredible action and gore in this movie. Some of it is pretty unnecessary and is done simply for the sake of showing more bodily mutilation on screen, this is one of those things where whether that's a good thing or a bad thing all depends on the viewer, personally I loved it myself!

That's not to say the movie doesn't have it's flaws, because it does (hence my lower rating). Some of the gore effects aren't all that convincing (which is forgivable considering this movie had a limited budget), the acting is not so good, the shaky cam during the gore scenes is annoying, there are at least two scenes where the music drowns out the characters voices, and another where two songs actually play over each other! It's really annoying.

Also the scene where the main woman (played by director Olaf Ittenbach's wife Martina) is getting beaten while tied to a chair, could have been really effective if it didn't look so fake. If they could do a decent job of making all of the other scenes of violence look reasonably good, why not this one? There is also a part during that scene where the guy torturing the woman decides for whatever reason to untie her, then she stabs him in the neck with a broken glass bottle, brilliant dude!

Given the amount of gore in this movie most of the flaws can be forgiven so a certain extent, but they did taint my enjoyment for this movie a little. I would still recommend it to gore film fans. Remember, watch it for the gore and nothing else.

Dear Mr. Ittenbach... you are an important part of the German horror movie scene and I give you credit for that. Although I am not a big fan of the later movies like "Beyond the limits" you sure progressed as a director.

With this movie I wonder why anyone would waste their time to produce something like this.

1. The main actress is ridiculous. Either make a German movie or an English one but don't put someone who can't either act nor speak proper English in the lead role of a movie in English language. The whole "my parents came from Germany to the USA"-thing was a real cheap try to cover this and its absolutely unimportant to the plot.

2. If you go for a tough mafia/drug gangster environment like in "Beyond the limits" at least make sure that the shoot outs don't have everyone laughing while getting shot and the shooters acting like in a cartoon.

3. If you want to go for the pathetic torture-porn style please stick to it and don't mush it into a story like this that falls apart on all sides.

4. Someone should really slap your editor ... the editing was some of the worst I have seen in a while. The telephone scenes with the endless dissolves were hurting my eyes.

5. While you are at slapping people please slip your sound mixer even harder (altough I guess thats also the editors mistake). If you have people with uninteresting monologues and put ridiculously loud and bad music on top so you barely hear anything i wonder if the movie was edited on crack.

6. The Effects were great as always and the cinematography was way too good for the many other flaws that could be forgiven in a school project but not in such a movie.

So please... either make trashy and gory movies or try on the more serious stuff but this looks like you don't know where the hell you want to go. At least I learned that "dard" is Persian for "pain" and believe me... this movie was pure dard for my eyes,ears and brain.

A German woman who's lived in the States for at least 15 years marries an American and has two children with thick German accents.

This is how the movie starts. Could it really get any better? The answer is no. No it cannot.

There's very little recommend this "movie". I believe it might be the only film that contains only male nudity. The movie got made and somebody saw it. That's about the only win here. It's also made the list of Most Violent Films Ever Made. And it probably deserves that.

With the caveats dispensed, the movie is Scheiße. There is not one believable performance. The script makes porn movies look intelligent. Every now and again, a glimmer of hope shines only to find the shadow of a miserable line, bad special effect or a ridiculous plot point snuff out its spark. People die from a shot to the shoulder. I don't mean bleeding to death. Apparently in this world your brain lives in your shoulder. Worse, the people who live in this world think getting shot in the shoulder means death. Which is odd, because after you've had your face smashed with a hammer a dozen times, the arteries in your arm severed and your limbs pumped with a local anesthetic and you can STILL manage to drag yourself up a flight of stairs and then walk across the floor, you'd THINK you'd have a better understanding of what the human body can take.

The biggest crime is the end. Don't worry, I'm not giving anything away because the score almost drowned out the actors so I'm not 100% sure what happened. This happened in a few places killing any chance of understand the "action". Did the filmmaker not watch his own movie? Was he so bored that he said "f*** it. I got paid and it's not like I'm making anything of value"?

2 stars because otherwise someone might stumble across it on the "worst" list and watch it by accidents.