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"Immortality Sucks"

User reviews

Revamped

10 reviews
3/10

Fast-paced but generic vampire tale notable for star cameos

  • Leofwine_draca
  • Mar 4, 2017
  • Permalink
5/10

So bad its good

I get the impression a lot of people voting here were looking for some Hollywood-style vampire film. This is NOT what this film is, and not what it intended. The acting is so bad it makes you laugh. I think (hope) this is intentional. Either way, it works. It doesn't take itself seriously - its closer to a low budget horror/comedy.

The only reason i didn't give it anything higher is it seems to steal a LOT from BtVS. I wont list them, but they're everywhere.

So, don't expect some big Hollywood film, or even a horror with any kind of ambition to scare you. Just sit back and chuckle at the witty dialogue.
  • summoner68
  • Feb 23, 2008
  • Permalink
5/10

Okey Dokey

Successful businessman Richard Clarke is bitten by a beautiful vampire and is plunged into the dark world of the supernatural.

Richard very quickly realizes that being undead isn't all that it's cracked up to be and must fight for survival, when a militaristic team of Vampire Hunters, the S.T.A.K.E. Team, discover his existence.

Barely surviving, Richard's presence is brought to the attention of The BLEEDERS, a savage underground gang of Vampires bent on survival at all costs.

All Hell breaks loose as it turns into a war for survival and no one is taking any prisoners. Let the bloodbath begin!

OK film as long as you don't expect too much.
  • artpf
  • Nov 13, 2013
  • Permalink
5/10

Comedy more than horror

I came back to check if this movie was listed as a horror comedy but no, and I think that's a huge factor of why this movie is rated this low. The main problem is to watch this movie seriously instead of just enjoying it. From the get go this movie is cheesy as hell, has puns and every sign of trying to be funny more than creepy. Not even with these facts this is a very good movie, but it's really enjoyable whatsoever. But I think this movie knows its limitations and tries to do it's best from there. If you enjoy B movies with cheesy acting, you should try this one.
  • FranLan94
  • Jul 26, 2020
  • Permalink
1/10

Revamped is recycled waste!

This guy Rector must be some horny Beverly Hills business man whose dream it was to make a "great" movie opus. His name pops up numerous times during opening credits. He gave himself credit for doing everything in the movie. I'm surprised it didn't say "Catering by Jeff Rector" or "Janitorial duties by Jeff Rector." This piece of crap movie has a range of washed up B actors, porn stars and bodybuilders. Ray Hollit could never act, but she still looks great even though she's been out of the bodybuilding scene for years.

Jeff Rector must've had a blast making this movie. I can picture these actors hanging on his every word as if he were Orson Wells, (more like Ed Wood, but less interesting.)

The best part of this movie is the DVD cover design. They must've blown their entire budget on it. The design is very well done and it gets 4 stars from me,but I can only give the film 1 very generous star. The cover art was responsible for getting me to rent flick but, boy did I feel duped! Lured in once again by a great DVD cover design. The film is not bad enough to really laugh at--you just sit there and curse this guy Rector, whose seems to be responsible for this large, steaming pile of dung.
  • bigdarvick
  • Feb 8, 2009
  • Permalink
5/10

Revamped

  • Scarecrow-88
  • Mar 22, 2008
  • Permalink
5/10

NOT THE WORSE VAMPIRE FILM

  • nogodnomasters
  • Jul 4, 2018
  • Permalink
8/10

no reason to make this film except to have fun! same reason to watch it!

Some self aggrandized journey-man bit player, finally saved enuf coinage to hire a bunch of over the hill actors and produce some half-arse script he slapped together. KEEP 'EM COMING! A depressed man calls a vampire 800-line and gets turned into a VAMPIRE. Too late he decides he wants to remain human and turns against his new blood-sucking Klan.

There's a lot going on a lot of spoons in the pot on this one, like every other Vampire movie. The usual story of serial killer will the crustyold city Detective, convince the Feds they're actually the work of aVampire. A special Vampire swat team. A rival more viral vampire KLAN.There's even some comedy, they got jokes, not any good-ones, but jokes none the less. I enjoyed watching it, I did I'll probably watch it again. If you like vampire films, and need something light-hearted after the "UNDERWORLD", do yerself a favor and watch it. Vampires, comedy, action, veteran staple actors, you can't go wrong.
  • nathan-yeo
  • Aug 8, 2009
  • Permalink
6/10

Revamped Review

  • corran-horn-1
  • May 31, 2009
  • Permalink
7/10

Funny star-studded horror-comedy wackiness

  • thedavidlady
  • Feb 23, 2025
  • Permalink

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