Lightspeed

This was the worst movie I have seen on sci-fi and they are notorious for producing the worst movies ever.

I cannot believe Stan lee put his name on this but after seeing who wants to be a superhero I now know.

I will start with the plot. Flash meets Darkman nuff said, nothing original. Casting, our lead hero has a comb over and looks like he's pushing 50 plus. The henchman look like no-budget porn extras. And the effects were ridiculous, even the Flash TV series from 16 years ago had better effects. If this was made in the 1950's that would explain the really bad special effects. The story and dialog you can imagine is par with the rest of the production value. Okay the worst thing was our hero's costume, he goes to a sporting goods store and the salesman goes in the back and gets his suit, that's it. And it looks like a costume from a homemade comic book fan movie. I would say I liked the python character until his comical fight scenes.

Watching QVC is more entertaining.

For starters,if I had to venture a guess, I think Stan Lee only created the characters, which are pretty good, in general. The director, while highly competent, can't save this terrible screenplay. For Pete's sake, this was written by the same scribe as Jack-O. Ecch! How do these guys get into the business? Anyway, this entire film would have been much better if the Python character became the superhero (He could have fought crime by night and then shed his snake skin the next day). A highly forgettable hero, poor sound, lame fights, a story line that depicts events that should have happened at night going on in the day, and the lack of any discernible city-scape work are too much for solid actors and nice make up to overcome. Better luck next time, folks.

Stan Lee owes me 90 minutes of my life back. It's a simple story: two men are both changed by experiments and science gone bad. one becomes a snake man and the other develops super speed and a heart problem. Whacky high-jinx ensue.

Here are the problems with the movie:

1) Plot is horrible. The writers borrow plot points directly from Spiderman and The Flash.

2) The acting is even worse, but it's not all the actor's fault: dialogue is laughable. Nicole Eggert and Lee Majors are both in this movie, nuff said.

3) The directing is just bad. There are scenes where a person is talking and the shot does not have their mouth in it, just their forehead and nose, then the camera zooms out and re-frames.

4) There is nothing special about those special effects. The main character wears a ski suite as a costume.

All and all this movie looks and feels much cheaper and cheesier than a made for TV movie (that's saying a lot). It's pretty much like someone bought a camcorder and filmed it on weekends with their buddies.

43 year old Jason Connery plays a "ghost squad" agent who must fight his old friend Daniel Goddard who has turned into a snake man named Python. Connery gets trapped in a collapsing building and then irradiated at the hospital which gives him the power to run in fast forward. His costume is a bunch of crap from a sporting goods store. Python has an awesome makeup job and a plot to destroy the government for non-specific revenge, but he's equally silly.

The quality of this production is so crude that it makes most low budget TV movies look good. It's full of choppy slow motion, unnecessary dissolves, and ultra cheap CG special effects. Things blur and ghost a lot in an attempt to hide the unprofessional shooting, even though it just makes it look worse. The camera work is mindless and the score is canned. Not to mention the acting, which is typical of TV movies and straight to video junk. Python is especially bad since the guy under the makeup is trying to do the villain voice the whole time.

Connery never looks like anything but a middle aged loser in a jogging suit. This seems careless as all they really needed to do was put a girdle and a hairpiece on him. Apart from this, his performance makes it obvious he never would have been in movies in the first place if his father hadn't been Sean Connery.

Connery's character, Daniel Leight (leight, light, Lightspeed! Get it?) has a girlfriend played by Nicole Eggert. She's also part of the "ghost squad" (which is supposed to be a kind of special forces meet SWAT team) which is a pretty laughable concept as she is just another disposable Baywatch bimbo. Naturally she winds up as bait later in the film.

It's weak and predictable every step of the way. More than anything it feels like a knockoff of "Black Mask 2" which was worthless anyhow. It's 88 minutes are an eternity for any halfway discerning movie viewer. Oh, and Lee Majors is in it. Enough said.

I know Sci-Fi Channel loves to air the worst sci-fi movies they can find, but they've outdone themselves with this garbage!

OMG, it's not just bad, it is stupid! The low budget Captain America and Spider-Man TV movies in the 80s had more imagination and style than this bowl of chum.

Everythting about it was a joke: The stars, the story, the characters, the dialogue, the direction, the not-very-special effects and most of all that ridiculous costume! Sure, every superhero with a bad comb over walks into a sporting goods shop and throws together their costume. Connery looked like a member of some gay stage show.

Jason's dad would be rolling over in his grave if he was dead -- and seeing his son in THIS may kill him.

If you want to see a good show about a guy with super speed, skip this vat of pee and pick up the DVDs of the Flash TV series from the 90s. It's a HELL of a lot more netertaining.

jk90