Scary Movie 5

They through a lot of parodies at you in this fifth installment, and there where only 3 or 4 times that I laughed, but for the most part I'm just staring at the screen and wondering how is this funny. It seems that the filmmakers are trying to too hard to be funny, and the more they are trying they fail completely failed. But I can see the parts where they where not trying so hard, are probably the parts that i was laughing.

Ashley Tisdale who I don't doubt is a very talented actress, but is incredibly bland here, nothing she does just does not jump out at you. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are pretty good spoofing themselves, but lets face they are already become parodies of themselves at this point. Simon Rex is alright, but really he is just there also. Not as bad has Movie 43, but still not as funny has it tried to be, but still good for a few chuckles.

Scary Movie V (2013)

BOMB (out of 4)

Wow, an American comedy from 2013 that makes INAPPROPRIATE COMEDY seem a little funnier. I'm not even going to waste my time giving any sort of plot synapses because this thing is just so horridly bad that you can't help but wonder a few things. Apparently 60% of this movie was re-filmed by David Zucker because the original movie from Malcolm D. Lee just didn't work. Considering how awful this theatrical version is, one really has to wonder how much worse the original could have been. The big "draw" to this is that it spoofs other 2013 films like MAMA and it even spoofs EVIL DEAD, which was released a week earlier. The MAMA spoof takes up the majority of the running time and there are simply no funny moments. I sat there in the empty theater just shocked that anyone would want to admit that they were involved in this thing. The jokes were just downright funny with the majority of them being physical stuff but it simply wasn't funny. The EVIL DEAD stuff got a couple small laughs but certainly not enough to save the picture. Even worse is the BLACK SWAN stuff that just seems to be out-dated and, again, unfunny. Ashley Tisdale and Simon Rex play the main couple but add zero. Katt Williams is really bland in his brief role and even Snoop Dogg and his pot jokes can't do anything. Oh yes, there's also the Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan stuff, which gets the film off to a very bad start. I guess Sheen just doesn't care what it does and Lohan has nothing better to do since she's now been in two horrid films in 2013. SCARY MOVIE V is without question one of the worst films I've ever sat through and trust me when I say I've watched some bad stuff. There were several times where I thought about walking out of the screening but I stuck in there to the end so that will show how dumb I was.

The era of spoof and parody is dead.

Let me start off by saying that I knew this film was going to be horrible from the start. I had read reviews and knew it was bad, but being so infatuated with film and theater, I actually wanted to see the movie to diagnose exactly what made it so horrible. (Insult me if you must, but I have a lot of free time on my hands and I love all kinds of movies.)

I'm not gonna lie, I went into the theater with the hope that on some slight chance, I would enjoy the film. Wrong. The movie was so boring and tasteless that I was actually distracted with my phone for some parts during the film, which is of the utmost rarity for me.

The horrible acting and line delivery dried this film out so much that I don't know where to begin. Ashley Tisdale was definitely not as good as Anna Faris was, and obviously, everyone will compare the two. I hate to admit it, but Mac Miller, Snoop Dogg, and Katt Williams all could have made audiences laugh with the material they were given, but were just too dry.

Admittedly, there were some very rare parts of the movie that had a somewhat witty humor to it, but it was only once or twice, and weak at that. The rest of the stupid slapstick humor was just so lame and dragging. Slapstick humor should stay within the PG level of humor for the kids.

On that note, the movie had overly crude, and just STUPID sexual humor that was just stupid and weak. Even hard R teenage sex comedies are more sophisticated than this. I laughed maybe one time, and it wasn't even a laugh. I kinda exhaled sharply while smiling.

Overall, there was almost no sophisticated or witty humor, horrid acting, and it was all just plain bad. So yes, the reviews are correct, it was horrible. The only reason I give it a 3 instead of a 1 was because hundreds and hundreds of people put months and months of work into an 85 minute piece of what they thought was art, and giving a movie a 1 or maybe a 2 is too disrespectful to the art that is film. (But then again, this movie is pretty disrespectful to the art that is film as well.)

It's fair to say that it is the worst of the series, it's let down by some really awful scenes, and some dire performances, but, it still has some of the old magic, and a few times I did find myself laughing. The scene between Sheen and Lohan was perhaps the worst thing I have ever seen, it was appalling, almost like an attempt to replicate the Pamela Anderson scene, but it was just terrible. The Black Swan scenes were lots of fun, and nicely produced, they felt at odds with lots of the film.

Is it the case that people's humour has changed since the early films, or were the jokes simply not funny? Personally I think it's the latter, in fairness though it isn't as if there were great horror movies to parody.

It's poor, but will still give the odd chuckle. 5/10

The only intelligent actor/actress from the entire Scary Movie series is Anna Ferris. You know why I say that, is because she wasn't in Scary Movie 5. She was smart. I'm not sure exactly what went wrong with this one, but I enjoyed the last 4 a lot more. Given that the 4th one was reaching a new level of stupidity, it was still 10x more funnier than the 5th. I regret paying $10 to watch this. This is the 2nd time in two weeks that I have made the mistake to pay money to see a stupid movie that ended up making me completely question why I go to the movies. Hollywood needs to wake up. Just because you can charge people money to see a movie, doesn't mean you should. Certain movies do not belong at the movie theater, and this one should have been on that list. The director should have never let this movie leave their studio, and for the sake of all of the actors, someone there should have stopped this movie from being produced. Again - I enjoyed the first 4, but I am now done with the Scary Movie saga. Enough is enough, this is just insulting. You can easily tell that even the highest paid actors like Charlie Sheen and that chick from Modern Family, put on a massive layer of suck in their roles. Are we all getting that lazy now days that we are going to record ourselves doing a horrible job, posting it to the world, and expecting money to come rolling in? I think the writers of Scary Movie should delete this one, and make a new Scary Movie 5. The next one that comes out will only be watched on DVD.