- Joel: Hello, sirs! Hey, great movie last week, huh? You know, I don't think a lot of people realize this, but it wasn't really a movie, it was just two Space 1999 segments edited together.
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: Regardless of what it was, it put your ratings through the ceiling!
- Dr. Forrester: Even you could've beaten the Cincinnati Bengals, and I'm out fifty bucks!
- Joel: Hey, maybe they'll give me MVP!
- Dr. Forrester: Don't get cocky with me, you orbiting Wilfred Brimley wannabe!
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: Joel, do the words oxygen deprivation mean anything to you? Look, if your ratings keep going up, we'll be forced to send you...
- Joel: Geez, you guys. Last week, the ratings were low and you got mad.
- Dr. Forrester: Hey, we're mad scientists. What do you expect? Larry, put in Humanoid Woman.
- Joel: MOVIE SIGN!