Quotes

Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning

[subtitled version]
Keisari James B. Pirk: Really, I did all I could for mankind, but did anybody thank me? No, they just whined about famine and overpopulation and stuff.

[subtitled version]
Keisari James B. Pirk: Where's Sherrypie?
Komentaja Ivanovitsa: He couldn't stand defeat. He shot himself in the head, three times.

[first lines, subtitled version]
P-Liiton tiedeupseeri: I would like to suggest, Emperor, that you reconsider your plan. The scientists are comparing it to Russian roulette. What theories we have on phenomena like the maggot hole indicate a tendency for continually increasing disturbances.
Keisari James B. Pirk: So what else is new. Can we pass through there?
P-Liiton tiedemies: Our ships weren't designed for twist pressures over one googol fluxoms.
Keisari James B. Pirk: So in other words, you don't have a clue.

[subtitled version]
Keisari James B. Pirk: [to angry mob] What's this racket? Get off my lawn or I'll light-ball your asses!

[subtitled version]
Kapteeni Joni K. Sherrypie: Where's Kefir now?
Chief of Security Mikhail Garybrandy: In the morning, I sent a patrol out. This is all they found.
[holds up a crystal shard]
Kapteeni Joni K. Sherrypie: Aliens have crystallized Kefir!
Chief of Security Mikhail Garybrandy: Jonny, this is a data crystal. From Kefir's flight recorder.

[subtitled version]
Kapteeni Joni K. Sherrypie: [holographic announcement to Baabel-13 station] To all P-Fleet personnel who surrender without resistance, I promise a fair court-martial and a swift execution.
[receives a sheet of paper from off-camera]
Kapteeni Joni K. Sherrypie: There is a ship, registration ZEX-514, parked aft of the station in a handicap space. Will the owner move it A.S.A.P.

[subtitled version]
Commander Dwarf: Fleet reporting: practically all light balls expended.
Info: In that case, approach to twinkler range at full shove power. Our losses should not exceed 68.4 percent.
Commander Dwarf: I guess it's a passable day to die.

[subtitled version]
Info: [to Commander Dwarf] Whatever you may think, the VCR remote stop button doesn't harm me.

[last lines, subtitled version]
Info: In a low-power mode, I believe I can make it until the 21st century, and prevent the fateful invasion campaign from taking place.
Keisari James B. Pirk: So that none of this ever happened? Then I'll be saved!
Info: Hm. In a way. Yes.

Keisari James B. Pirk: Why's everybody talk back all the time? Try walking in my shoes! It's no cakewalk, managin' the whole world by myself. Gotta admit, sometimes I think I've gotten in too deep. This mess began 8 years ago. My ship blew up and I was stuck in the past.

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