Bar Starz

There have only been a handful of times in my life that a film has left such an impact on me, like a Donnie Pitron sized asteroid hit my soul. I laughed, I cried, I laughed until I cried. This is by far Jon Bernthal's best performance to date, ranking up there with the likes of Brando in The Godfather. Why hasn't this man gotten the recognition he deserves? This is the sort of role that will stick with me forever, shaping the lense to which I use to view films for the rest of my life. Please, if you only pay yourself one kindness, watch this movie. The only thing I regret is that I didn't watch it earlier. The world feels like an ugly place right now but Donnie and his cohorts will PUMP you up until you too feel like the true Bar Star.

First and foremost, I personally want to thank Donnie Pintron for showing me the ways of the bass. Throughout this intellectual movie I have reconsidered my very religion itself, all so I could feed from the nipple of Donnie Pintron. Before this movie, I could not properly understand the language of the Gods. I now drink 40 Taurines a day because it is the nectar of the Gods. I have now achieved inner peace with myself and I will ascend to Nirvana (where Kurt Cobain lies.) where I hope that I, too, will become a Bar Star. This movie isn't just about finding your religion. It is about embracing that you will never, ever have a smarter movie than this. Every time you watch this movie, you learn more and more about yourself. This movie takes away your fragile virginity again, and again, and again, and you simply let it. The characters are the most fleshed out characters I have ever seen in a movie. Ever. You have Donnie. You have the megaphone man. The awkward main character. Douglass. The guy who speaks in weird speeches that are supposed to be deep but just confuse you further. Small mouth man, or as the movie calls him - surfer dude. When you see these characters in action, there is nothing that can compare. The utter chemistry alone between these characters is so fluent, you feel like you're actually there. But then you realize this is the movie of the Gods, and your presence cannot ascend to such a higher plane of existence. Donnie Pintron could punch me and I would personally thank him myself, granted he allows me VIP access. He's a sex god whose nipples are the work of Jesus himself and that has a penis made of gold, which is totally not at all a bluff and is 100% real. Someday, I do hope that my children, and their children, and their children's children will know the legacy that is this movie. This movie is a religious relic, something you must past down generation to generation. When humanity has become extinct, this is the movie that will be the last reminder of the homosapien race. I'm looking forward to the sequel, Bar Starz II: The Next Generation.

This film is absolutely top tier. It's definitely an early 2000s CLASSIC, easily. While this film has a strong plot and premise, Jon Bernthal's performance for his character "Donnie Pintron" somehow advances this film into something of a masterpiece. This film succeeds many levels such as the script, costumes, characters, and jokes. Making this film desirable to rewatch continuously. Not only is this a feel good, laughter fulfilled piece, it's something that also pulls at your emotions in the best possible ways. This film has only inspired me to live out the rest of my days trying to be as absolutely amazing and COOL as Donnie Pintron. This character is the epitome of cool. Donnie Pintron has easily become my all time favorite character with the outstanding performance Bernthal gave. Give this film a watch, you will be absolutely amazed and perhaps this will become a favorite for you as well. The only complaint I have is that I cannot buy this on dvd! A travesty! But past that, this is again, top tier. Donnie Pintron, you have my heart!

People will tell you that this movie is cringy and bad and they are wrong. The storyline is a little convoluted but it just works. Bar Starz is a classic early 00s movie with a vibe that cannot be replicated today. An amazing performance by Jon Bernthal as Donnie Pintron really sets this movie apart. Such a memorable character will have you feeling the bass everytime you reach for a can of Taurine.

This is the best movie i've ever seen, EVER. Period. If i have nothing else in life, i know I have this movie. If i was stuck on a deserted island and could only pick 5 movies to bring, all five would be this movie. I've never watched a movie that's so intelligent, funny, and good-natured all in one. Honestly, this is the epitome of perfect cinema. It will never get better than this.