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The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Lucille Ball (1975)

Quotes

The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Lucille Ball

Edit
  • Himself - Roastmaster: There isn't anything this girl can't do. She can sing, she can dance, she can get laughs - especially from her singing and dancing.
  • Herself - Woman of the Hour: During my lifetime, I've had audiences with the Pope, I've dined with presidents... but being here tonight with people in my own business, I can honestly say how great it was being with the Pope and the presidents.
  • Totie Fields: Lucy darling, you have been a big star for many, many years and it must kill ya to see a young kid like me stepping into your shoes.
  • Ginger Rogers: I've known Lucy longer than anyone here, I think its safe to say that. What's not safe to say is how I feel about her.
  • Don Rickles: I must be honest. I never liked Lucille Ball, I never did.
  • Nipsey Russell: In all her years on television, Lucille Ball never used a black performer. And we want her to know from the bottom of our hearts we appreciate. We had enough trouble.
  • Don Rickles: [to Nipsey Russell] Shut up! I hate when a spade butts in!
  • Foster Brooks: Lucy and I were drawn to each other physically. Like two moths to a sock. I was a lusty larva and she had a cute cocoon.
  • [looks over at Nipsey Russell]
  • Foster Brooks: No offense to the colored man on the dais.
  • Bob Hope: Lucy's always doing nice things. Even though she's not with Desi anymore she got him a job as a dialogue coach on 'Chico and the Man'.
  • Gary Morton: I'm in a very delicate position, having to roast my own wife. I can just picture her tonight, setting the electric blanket to 'headache.'
  • Gale Gordon: [to Lucy] Mrs. Morton, Vivian Vance is funnier than you are.
  • Vivian Vance: [to Lucy] You probably don't remember me. But we go back a long way.

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