Never Been Thawed

Just see this movie... just do it already.

It'll put a smile on your face that'll be harder to get off than Martha Stewart on a set of dirty sheets.

There are so many little things in this movie that are really easy to miss the first time you see it. I'd advise seeing it once just to "get your laugh on"... and then go back and see it and pay attention to the background things in the scenes. The magazines they read, the statues on their desks, the names of the places they go to, etc. These guys could make a fortune just selling some of the original props.

And who else is waiting for the new Christers album? Yeah, I thought so... well, I'll be camped out at the record store the night before that release and I'm getting the first copy. Just try and beat me there!

This movie is all that... and an entrée.

Everything about this extremely low-budget mockumentary is either extremely hilarious or brutally, BRUTALLY bad. I'm going to start with the bad so that I can leave this review on a high note. The absolute worst thing about NBT: Never Been Thawed is the acting. It's obvious that most of the dialog is improvised, but it's also obvious that most of the cast has never acted before. I know they were trying to make a comedy along the lines of the Christopher Guest comedies like Waiting for Guffman and Best In Show, but they just didn't have the actors to pull it off.

But when it comes to absurd scenarios, NBT borders on genius! It's about a group of "Frozen Entrée Enthusiasts" – or rather, it's about a group of huge dorks who actually collect microwavable TV dinners. Not only do they collect TV dinners, but they actually get together every week to talk about the new meals coming out, and they buy and sell and mix and match meals amongst each other. Insane. The group's leader is also the lead singer in a punk-turned-Christian-rock band called "The Christers". Best line of the movie has got to be: "So the formula for Christian rock is basically – man has problem, man finds Jesus, Jesus solves problem." Some of the other dorks in the "Frozen Entrée Enthusiasts" club include a clown who cuts children's hair at a salon called Klown Kuts. He's in love with a 35-year-old virgin who works at the William Jefferson Clinton Abstinence Center. There's an efficiency expert whose main hobby is playing the highway alphabet game (the one sanctioned by the Arizona Highway Gaming Association). And there's the restaurant owner who opened the No Choice Café next to the abortion clinic to cater to the anti-abortion protesters who are always hanging around. The menu reads: "What would Jesus choose?" NTB: Never Been Thawed is brilliant in its absurdity, I give it that. I laughed more in this film than any other this week. But the actors constantly remind you that you're watching a low-budget farce with really bad actors, and that's a shame.

I just watched this wonderfully humorous film at the Harkins in downtown Tempe, after which The Christers played an entertaining set of four songs. I believe this was featured at the Phoenix film festival and was brought to Harkins. I was pleasantly surprised by this film. Centering around a group of frozen entrée collectors this film leads you in a documentary style through their lives and oddities. If you like the more commercial and prominent funny movies that are churned out one after another in the endlessly unoriginal fashion of all those Ben Stiller pieces of excrement then this movie may be a bit too "edgy" for you. However if you revel in a more unique and (again) "edgy" sort of comedic experience i encourage you to see this, for if you do i venture to say you will thank yourself over and over. I believe this film has a great chance of making it nationally, as i think it's just being seen here in the Phoenix area for the time being. Also, if you are uptight about Christianity you may be offended by some of the content of this movie and some language. If you got through the movie "Saved!" alright you'll make it here. But again, if you do see this movie prepare to have a sore abdomen because you'll be laughing and repeating lines hours later with friends.

What a nice surprise. I had read a lot about this movie and people who love mainstream films like Clerks and Waiting for Guffman and Best In Show will love this film. It is very unique and unlike anything I have ever seen. The storytelling is great and the casting is excellent. There are many sight gags, some of which I'm sure I missed as I was wiping away the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. I am going to see it again with another group of friends this weekend and hopefully I'll be able to catch all of the gags the second time. I also checked out the Never Been Thawed website and laughed my head off even more. The character bios and MP3's of songs by The Christers (the rock band turned far-from-politically-correct Christian Band)will make you wet yourself. Right now there's a bunch of crap out in theatres so treat yourself, and go see this movie. You will not regret it. This is one of those movies you feel good about "discovering" and turning your friends onto, much like I did with Swingers when it came out. See this flick!

I had the pleasure of seeing this indie at the 2005 Phoenix Film Festival. I believe from what the filmmakers said that it is only going to be in very, very limited release in the Phoenix area as of the near future. So, sorry everyone else. But if you are lucky enough to live in the Phoenix area go and see this movie! I have not laughed so hard so often for as long as I can remember. I don't want to say anymore than that, because the less you know the better.

This is going to be playing at Harkins Valley Art in Tempe starting April 15th. If enough people see it and shell out some dough, it'll probably go into wider release in the Phoenix area. Trust me it's worth the eight bucks.

Independent film lovers and anyone else who wants a great laugh: GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE IT'S HILARIOUS.