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Erika-Shaye Gair in The Wicker Man (2006)

Review by Magnificos

The Wicker Man

1/10

Some Movies Must Not Be Made

It is a real shame that this disaster will likely play a part in the downfall of potentially intelligent and interesting horror films coming out of the Hollywood wasteland.

The acting is nothing, the plot is not in the least intriguing (the original was suspenseful and a disorientating roller-coaster on first viewing), and there emerges simply no point or reason for this film to exist. I was angry sitting in the theatre, a Cage fan (though now nearly a former fan) wondering why in the world he did this? Obviously I had seen the original, and just this afternoon bought a DVD of the original and watched it. And you know what? These people were crazy to remake it! Some remakes make sense. Really, they do. But here? It's completely out of context this new one! The original is timeless.

The new WICKER MAN is poorly done -- the mystery doesn't exist, the director is a "smack you in the face with contemporary issues kind of guy" with no nuance, and he's completely wrong for this film. He did well with IN THE COMPANY OF MEN, but how in the world, by any bizarre stretch, can that be connected to THE WICKER MAN? It is ludicrous! Others have made that point in a variety of ways, please read their reviews for elaboration.

Cage should make a PUBLIC APOLOGY to any fans he has left at this point. You know, people who appreciate that he got behind cool movies like, say, SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE. He should hold it at that castle he bought, dressed in his best Elvis style leather jacket, and simply apologize for what stupid idea this was. He'd win back a lot of good will that way.

Are you reading this, Nicholas? Do the right thing and gain some respect back! Nobody cares about the crappy Bruckheimer movies, you took the money and that's cool, but this is something that requires a public apology.
  • Magnificos
  • Oct 21, 2006

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