Hoboken Hollow

The first thing you'll immediately notice about "Hoboken Hollow" (or at least I did) is the very, very extended cast list. The opening credits just don't stop introducing new names - among them a couple of very familiar ones like Dennis Hopper and Michael Madsen - and you promptly realize what this movie will lack are one or two actual leading characters. "Hoboken Hollow" is based on true events that probably did involve a lot of people, but perhaps writer/director Glen Stephens should have just focused on the kidnapping and torturing of hitch-hikers and homeless people instead of also wanting to narrate a dozen of redundant sub plots. The tale of the so-called "Texas Slave Ranch" basically revolved on a family of deranged hicks forcing random travelers to labor on their ranch, but the screenplay finds it absolutely necessary to throw in story lines about real-estate issues, soldiers with post-Iraq traumas and demented family relations. It also never feels as if the movie is inspired by true events. It's your average modern "torture-porn" flick with a lot of disgusting scenery and villains with terrible dental hygiene, but there never is any atmosphere of suspense or genuine morbidity to detect. And, now that we're being completely blunt and honest, this film will probably not even satisfy the real gorehounds and sick puppies among us. There's a fair share of carnage and repulsiveness on display, but the sickness-factor never approaches that of other "Torture Porn" flicks like, say, "Hostel", "Saw" or "Wolf Creek". The rape sequence is quite unpleasant to behold (as rape sequences always are), but the actual torture footage is limited to shots of the victims getting poked with an electric shock device and getting dragged behind a car. Glen Stephens may perhaps be a little over-ambitious, but – especially during a handful of isolated moments - his directing skills definitely show a lot of potential and he most certainly has a talented eye for appropriate casting. The aforementioned "bigger" stars Dennis Hopper and Michael Madsen only appear in small roles, but some of the other villains are aptly cast like C. Thomas Howell as the nastily grinning Clayton and Mark Holton (who played the titular role in "Gacy") as the slightly mentally unstable Weldon. Other remarkable B-movie names in the cast include Lin Shaye ("2000 Maniacs"), Robert Carradine, Dedee Pfeiffer and Randy Spelling. "Hoboken Hollow" is an overall weak and unsatisfying movie, but it's not entirely without interest for tolerant horror fanatics.

My God, this film is crap. In the first few minutes, you get a feel of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre', and not a good feeling either. I've came to the conclusion that any film that has Dennis Hopper associated now a days, makes it bad. Let's have a look back. His career started to take a downfall when he made the 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2', ever since, no one in Hollywood wants anything to do with them, since that monstrosity has come crap like 'Land of the Dead', which was George A. Romero's desperate attempt to get attention once again, any attention he'll be getting though is not good attention. And then we come to 'Hoboken Hollow', If you want my advice, please don't watch this movie because you'll be wanting that precious hour and a half back.

Tagline should be - "Watching this movie....IS TORTURE"

Supposedly based on real life events on a Southern State ranch, the premise of this move has all the ingredients for a cult classic - murder, torture, cruelty, survival....... However the film seems to have been written and directed by someone who has never seen a movie before. The dialogue, editing and continuity of the film are all laughable. What on earth were Messrs Connery/Madsen/Hopper and Howell all thinking of ? Sure, none of these actors are A-Listers and have appeared in their fair share of turkeys but to stoop this low, I can only imagine the money must have been good or the Producer was one hell of a salesman. The movie even features a voice over sequence for much of Jason Connery's scenes that defies all logic. Dennis Hopper must have contributed about 25 minutes worth of his time for his particular paycheck, and the less said about Michael Madsens performance (or even a reason for his characters presence) the better.

If you see this in your local video store I recommend that unless you are a student of truly poor movie making, you walk on by and select any random film and you will have spent your money more wisely than hiring this garbage.

An absolute turkey.

PS If you enjoyed this movie, you may also enjoy watching paint dry.

A lot of recognizable faces and some you think you might recognize but they just look like well known people. The movie is fine it's not scary has absolutely no tension other than missing a meal and for the most part has all but two main characters who you could say are human garbage and deserve their fate. While watching this develop I immediately connected this with a true story which though I didn't know it was the reason others picked it to watch it. Other than two people once lived on a farm this has almost no other parts that line up. It wasn't a widespread conspiracy no one was sold as human food and no one was tortured. It was a scheme to buy livestock with bad checks and re-sell the livestock for profit and the people who did this did it for 30 years and didn't kill anyone. When they were caught and the man was put in prison he was barred from all livestock auctions upon his release and that's when he started to employ transients to pose as buyers and for another ten years he just sent them on there way after the purchase. When he was released one last time he picked up transients and after the purchase he shot them once in the back of the head. Other than who is in it I'm sure I'll immediately forget this as most everyone else will. Other than C Thomas Howell the other people are basically cameos with Michael Madsen on screen for about five uncomfortable minutes. And I'm positive he was messed up on goof balls or whatever and has no clue he was in this.

"Hoboken Hollow" is a disappointment.

The plot: Trevor (Connery) is a war veteran trying to take life easy and hitchhiking his way to California. While hitchhiking, a trucker named Clayton (Howell) asks him for help on his ranch. Trevor agrees only if he can leave the next day. Trevor finds out very quickly that the ranch is filled with deranged lunatics who like to torture and kill their helpers.

It's a good idea for a movie but it just doesn't work because the pacing is lethargic and the scares are minimal. Howell does a decent job as one of the killers, but Connery is wooden.

If you're thinking "Hey, Madsen and Hopper are in it! It can't be all bad...." well, I'm sorry, you're wrong this around. Hopper is in this for about two minutes and he basically says the same line over and over: "I'll give you a lift to the next town". Madsen has it worse because once again, as in "The Covenant: Brotherhood Of Evil" he has an obviously phony mustache. 2005 was the "glued on facial hair stage" in his career. One more thing: Anthony Michael Hall was one of the producers of this mess. Odd....

"Hoboken Hollow" is a very poor flick, that you should only watch if you're a Madsen or Hopper completist (I've seen "Tycus" and "The Prophet's Game" with Dennis and "Flat Out" with Mike. I deserve a medal. Not Really.) For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com