Dark Ride

Dark Ride features a gruesome opening sequence, a young woman being decapitated whilst delivering a blow job, and an outstanding vertical head slice—moments of gore which would automatically earn a movie a recommendation from me. Unfortunately, the film as a whole is so stale that it ends up as just one more reason for me to be wary of Lionsgate releases.

A blatant rip-off of Tobe Hooper's The Funhouse (1981), Dark Ride sees a bunch of obnoxious teenagers (hot women, some studs, and a guy who looks like an unhealthy, ginger Elijah Wood) being murdered by a hulking psycho after opting to spend the night in an abandoned fairground ride. Whilst The Funhouse wasn't exactly the greatest example of the slasher genre, it could at least boast a modicum of originality and a style of its own; writer/director Craig Singer, on the other hand, clearly has very few fresh ideas, and is content to plagiarise both the look and feel of Hoopers' film.

Less savvy horror fans unaware of the film's obvious cribbing might get a kick out of Dark Ride, but for those in the know, my advice is to save yourself some time and money and just enjoy the best bits on YouTube.

Part of the popular After Dark Horror Film Festival (which included the remarkable horror film, "The Abandoned" among seven others), "Dark Ride" is a weirdly entertaining little slasher film heavily reminiscent of Tobe Hooper's "The Funhouse". The story follows a group of college friends who decide to go on a trip during spring break. While driving through New Jersey late one night, they have a bizarre encounter at a gas station, and later pick up a ditsy hitchhiker with a good stash of drugs. The kids decide to stop at an amusement park to check out the "dark ride", a horror ride that was closed down for years after two twin sisters were murdered there in 1989. The murderer is now institutionalized, but for these unlucky teenagers, he has escaped within the past two weeks. As they enter the ride and decide to spend some time messing around in there with all of the scary props and whatnot, they aren't aware of the real horrors that await them.

While this film was very obviously inspired by Tobe Hooper's slasher film, "The Funhouse", it honestly is nowhere near as good. But would one expect it to be any better? Nah, I don't think so. Besides this, "Dark Ride" is still an enjoyable little blood-soaked horror flick. The plot is beyond derivative, and the script is pretty jammed full with typical horror set-ups and clichés - we've seen it all before, plenty of times. Not much originality here, but oh well. While the story does lack any uniqueness or originality, it makes up for it with some good thrills and a full plate of some cheap (but clever) scares and violence. It's a pretty gory film, but I think that's what it was going for anyway so it works. We have plenty of gruesome stabbings, slashings, head-splittings, and a grossly clever decapitation that could likely become of cult status (I won't explain, you'll know it when you see it for sure). The sets inside the horror ride were really nicely done, and appropriately spooky. Amusement rides like that have an eerie thing about them anyway, so I love the setting.

The acting in the film is so-so. Jamie Lynn-DiSalca (of TV's "The Sopranos") is the heroine, and is just alright - not anything mind blowing, but passable enough with her performance. The male stars are actually the better actors in the film though, I'm sure some of you will recognize Patrick Renna of the '90s Disney film, "The Big Green", I knew I'd seen that face before. The rest of the cast isn't bad, but the performances were overall no more than average (if not a little below). When considering what type of movie this is though, the acting quality is almost irrelevant. The killer in the film is creepy, not because of his physical deformity, but more so because of his child-like porcelain mask that he wears throughout the film. I thought the 'twist' in the end was actually pretty good, it came totally out of nowhere for me, so I have to give that some credit because the writing there was pretty good.

Overall, "Dark Ride" is an enjoyable little slasher fest that isn't much more than that. It's formulaic, clichéd, and predictable in quite a few ways. But it still manages to be entertaining and fun aside from it's downfalls. Hardened horror buffs will know exactly what to expect, and will feel like they've seen it a hundred times. But if you enjoy a good old corny slasher flick, this weird little throwback to '80s style splatter pictures might be an enjoyable find. It isn't a great movie by any means, but I have to give it a half-and-half rating at least because it was pretty entertaining for what it was. 5/10.

Dark Ride is nothing but wasted potential Twin girls are murdered on a dark Ride back in the 80's. Flash forward to teen going on a road trip and they find a flyer at a gas station for The dark Ride at Asbury park NJ.

This movie has all the ingredients for a good horror flick.

Great story, decent actors decent gore. Even the set is good but It takes 50 Minutes to get to the kills and it just falls flat It's just long and drawn out. I give it 5 stars for the kills, they are done pretty well.

I just wish that it was idk maybe shorter and to the point. Again I will say so much wasted potential.

This is one boring Dark Ride.

In 1989, in New Jersey, two sisters are killed in a ghost train in the greatest attraction of the Asbury Park, the Dark Ride. The police arrest the serial killer that is sentenced to life in a mental institution; finds fourteen other bodies hidden in the spot and the justice shuts-down the attraction. Fourteen years later, a group of five friends and a hitchhiker decides to visit the amusement park that is offering free lodging in its reopening. Meanwhile, the psychopath escapes from the asylum and while the group is inside the Dark Ride, they are chased and killed by the murderer.

The slasher "Dark Ride" is a boring collection of clichés. Whatever the viewer may expect in a B-movie of the genre, he or she will find in this flick: bad acting, poor screenplay and budget, breasts, screams, the victims splitting from the group and killed one by one, "unexpected" twist etc. In the end, watching this flick is a pure waste of time. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Trem Fantasma" ("Ghost Train")

I was extremely excited to see this movie (it was my most anticipated of the Horrorfest lineup) and I'm not too sure what I'm thinking about it at the moment. The plot was very basic and reminded me a lot of your average 80's slasher flicks, but theses are the films I grew up watching, so that's a huge plus. The dialog was far from perfect, but there actually were a few intentionally funny bits that had me and the rest of the theater cracking up. The acting wasn't too awful, but the character of Liz pretty much annoyed the hell out of me the entire time she was on screen. Actually, most of the characters were rude asses and I didn't really care if any of them were going to live or die. The stoner characters were by far the most amusing, though. There were a few scenes of decent gore including a very original beheading that I didn't see coming, and a few scenes built up decent tension and suspense. I also enjoyed the cinematography for the most part. It was very stylized and gave the film it's own unique feel even if the plot and circumstances were clichéd to the max. Also, the killer was very imposing and the mask he wore was really sweet. On the down side, the ending felt incomplete and the unnecessary "twist" was not surprising at all. Almost all of the suspense scenes didn't go anywhere as the killer like to toy with his victims too much and let them get away just in time. This got a little frustrating after a while and I just wanted to see some freakin' action already! Overall, Dark Ride was a much slower paced movie that the preview made it seem, the characters did all of the stupid things that you would expect them to, there was gratuitous nudity and blood (in a few parts) and the killer and setting were very creepy. It was a fun movie, but not one that I would rush out to see by any means of the imagination. I'd give it an above average 6.5/10.