Derek Magyar credited as playing...
- X: [narrating] Forgive me Father, I'm guilty of the deadliest sin. I'm human. How many Hail Marys is that?
- X: The orgasm's a trap, but masturbation is bliss.
- X: What happens when you meet Mr. Right too soon? You grab him. There's no such thing as too soon.
- X: I love club music, everything is so cut and dry. You love someone set them free. Love me or let me go. Prove your love. My love is your love. It's love or it's not love. Love is sex. Sex is love. I defy you to find a club anthem that says I love you but I'm not really sure what love is all about and I still wanna have sex with...blah blah blah. Those things are harder to rhyme.
- X: What happens when you meet mr right too soon? You grab him. There's no such thing as too soon.
- X: [after X catches Andrew being kissed by Matthew] Hey, don't mind me.
- Andrew: heh
- [shakes head]
- Andrew: I give up... you win again.
- Andrew: I really wanted a different ending.
- X: As long as we get an ending.
- X: [voice inside X's head] Forgive me father, I was insanely jealous.
- X: [narrating] Forgive me, Father, for I was wrathful.
- X: [narrating] Forgive me Father, I was selfish.
- X: [narrating] Forgive me Father, I felt lustful.
- X: [narrating] Forgive me Father, I was too lazy to do more than pretend everything would be alright.
- X: [narrating] Forgive me Father, I was too proud to admit he was right.
- Cheyenne: Hey, Uncle X.
- X: [distracted at sight of Andrew and Matthew together] Oh, hey Cheyenne.
- Cheyenne: This makes you my uncle, doesn't it?
- X: I think it would be something more like your brother-in-law.
- Cheyenne: [the two see Andrew and Matthew kiss] Maybe ex-brother-in-law.
- X: [narrating] Forgive me Father, I consumed more than I required.
- X: [narrating] Wait, I'm not quite as pathetic as I should be.
- [starts to rain]
- X: There. Much more Charlie Brown.
- Andrew: [role-playing] Alex, is X here?
- X: You request the services of X? Call me X.
- X: Not in front of the Beaver
- X: [after Andrew puts his arm around X's shoulders before the wedding ceremony] What are you doing?
- Andrew: Accepting who I am.
- X: It feels like you're showing off.
- [Andrew removes his arm from around X's shoulders]
- X: [in church, just as the father is escorting Jill down the aisle] I know it's corny, but... isn't it romantic?
- Andrew: I don't believe you want me to give up.
- X: Don't spoil it.
- Andrew: I wonder if we'll ever be able to do this in my lifetime?
