Teenage Cavegirl

Uncle Fred Olen Ray once again gives us a little of his Retromedia "goodness" in the form of this soft-core Cinemax non-classic.

A numb-nut pair are out looking at rocks when they come across a swirling vortex a "black hole" as the intelligent dolts put it. Pretty soon an attractive cave girl from one million years ago happens into out time-line and she beds her way into the future. Pretty soon her studly other half makes his way into the future as well and blazes a path through the beds of the future.

Ray again delivers a passable (but barely) smut-fest that has horrible acting but some decent skin. Yeah it's barely titillating but heh! If worse comes to worse it will cure you insomnia.

S10 reviews: 1/5 or 3/10

Is this a six star movie in the group of all types of movies ever made? Of course not. I tend to rate movies within their genre, not against serious dramas or serious comedies. Is "serious comedy" an oxymoron? No ... not if the writers, actors, and director are serious about creating a good comedy. :-)

The now departed Skinemax fare was a genre of its own for fifteen years or so, and this one ranks higher than most, though there are quite a few with better plots and sexier simulated sex.

Though I'm a guy and appreciate the skin, I also like Evan Stone. He always brough a sense of humor and his own unique touches to his roles, and got tagged for such things are pirates, genies, ghosts, spooky butlers, vampires and here ... a caveman. He gave us a few chuckles in this movie.

Any question you have a the two "cave people" are somewhat answered by the surprise ending, but maybe not ALL of them. LOL.

I'm a huge fan of Kennedy Johnston and I'm in lust with Jezebelle Bond. With a B-title like this one, I expected a sex-fun ride with plenty of caveman action!

Sometimes I act like a caveman and that means plenty of booze, violence, and why not? wild sex.

Well, this title may be misleading because there is slight caveman or cavegirl situations.

The sex is steamy and makes you think about porn at some points but nothing more explicit that you haven't seen in soft core.

Jezebelle is very hot and Kennedy is great as always. I love both of them! Watch it for it's kinky thematic and steamy sex scenes. It's not great but it worths a watch.

Not really what I expected from the name and picture on the cover. It was less about a teenage cavegirl and more about softcore porn.

The cavegirl from 1,000,000 BC had modern tattoos and she and her mate both had commercially made leather outfits. At least cover the tattoos if you're going to give it a prehistoric theme and have a seamstress make the outfits.

But it was an okay movie for what it was. It was interesting enough for what it was and I watched it all the way through. The dinosaurs and UFO were a nice touch. Not something you would normally see in this genre of films. I guess I would recommend it. It's better than most as far as softcore porn goes.

Jezebel Bond seems to have been in only one Retromedia movie. The sex scenes are exciting, even though she is a bit skinny and flat chested compared to most of Ray's stable of soft core players. The plot is silly and missed out on a perfect surprise ending.