The Witch's Sabbath

I love a good B movie like the next guy, but this doesn't even qualify as that! Bad all around. I wonder how the producers ever got this project off the ground? And someone tell Syn Devil that she can't act and she should sue the doctor that gave her that bad breast job! The world has a Fran Dresher, we don't need another one with less talent. In fact that would be a far better horror movie: A young actress tries to improve her looks and has two watermelons attached to her chest and they take on a life of their own! I should have known this film was going to be bad with the famous words: Produced by Dave Sterling. I think he must have sold his soul to someone to make movies, only the devil has him turning out this dreck.

Story? None. Editing? Not really. Anything going for it? An aged Ron Jeremy who must have lost a bet to be put in this film.

This has got to be the worst movie ever produced, bar none. The film's colors are garish as a cheap beach-party 1960s 3-D cartoon and the filmwork appears to be that of a 13-year-old filming his older brother's best buds. The script itself could have been written by someone even younger, with lots of artificial profanity (wish this forum would allow me to script a line of it just to show how fake and cheesy the neopornographic dialogue is) and talk about girls who are 'hot'. About 65 percent of this film is devoted to artificial teats and pornography. Blood flows like cherry cool-aid throughout, and the excessive gore/blood is not terribly done, but no better than a C- or D+. Satan does make a cameo appearance late in the film and he looks like the cool-aid monster puppet re-done for a funhouse/spookhouse.

The only thing that can be said about a plot is, a coven of four witches must have a quota of 666 souls (decapitation murders) by Halloween (though all the action appears to be early summer) night in order to exist in the world one more year. So, to complete their task, they invite four high school/college students (who hang out at the witches' stripper club) to their halloween party in order to drug and murder them. The Witches' house. which is supposed to be a hundred-year-old mannor, is really just a well-decorated modern suburban condo with lots of angel statues and semi-elegant chandeliers.

(One poster in this forum described a scene where one of the characters drove a car over a cliff, and another character crapped in his pants at the opera. These scenes are not in the movie or referred to. The plot's only what I described above, and all the action takes place in the afore-mentioned witches condo, the strip-club, or the bedroom of one of the main characters, filmed with a cheap camera)

This film could have been made by a thirteen year old with a home movie camera and a big budget for cherry cool-aid and cherry syrup (for blood) and porno-star clothing. The only good things I can say about it is, most of the actors/actresses were reasonably attractive and I wondered why such normal- to above-average looking young adults would stoop to such a sucky movie (getting to keep the artificial teats, porno clothes and plastic halloween weaponry may have been part of the deal). The sound track was fairly decent to very good if you like, say, Black Sabbath and AC/DC. But these do not justify the awfulness and lack of talent you'll expose yourself to if you watch this. The best thing about this movie was there was a character named "Craven Moorehead" which was sorta a chuckle, but now that I told you, there's nothing else of value worth knowing.

Go rent Scooby Doo meets Bambi, Goldilocks vs. Broom Hilda,, or a cheesy porn flick instead.

I am kind of undecided on this film, so i'll just tell you the good and bad points, and let you decide. First the good, the Vampire women, and Syn De Vil in particular are smoking hot, and topless for almost the whole film. Although they do commit the cardinal sin, of teasing girl on girl, and not delivering, had they gone through with it, I might have awarded another point. The other high point is the gore, which was pretty good, and frequent for a low budget film, and includes heads', and spines being ripped out of victims', while still alive. Now the bad, the acting here was quite awful, and the film drags at times in the middle. Even at eighty five minutes, I feel this movie could have been edited down, as the beginning and end were quite entertaining, I just found myself falling asleep during the character development parts in between, as the performances weren't very good, and I really just wanted them to be sacrificed, and get it over with. What this film lacked is a good sexy money shot, as I said above if you tease a lesbian encounter, you had better give it up, or people will be disappointed. Also while the film delivers the T, they scoff at us A lovers, and keep the underwear on. All in all, the gore was very good, and the women were easy on the eyes', so I say give it a go.

A coven of female witches, whose only magical power seems to be able to surgically-enhance their breasts, want to lure six-hundred-and-sixty-six victims to their house in order, I believe, to bring Satan into the world for a visit. All I can say, I'm glad they killed the vast bulk of their victims in their back story because I don't know how much more of this movie I could have taken! (Plus, I don't think the witches would have gone through all of the trouble themselves if they knew how goofy Satan would look when he finally appeared.) All I can say is that director Jeff Leroy is Fred Olen Ray without the talent. (That was a sentence I would have never imagined myself writing, but at least Ray has rudimentary technical skills. This is just a mess.) No atmosphere. The witches' house is just a normal suburban house on a normal street -- though it is sometimes surrounded by terrible CG clouds. The acting is bad. The breasts are fake. It isn't scary. It isn't funny. It isn't sexy. The action is badly staged. The victims just cower and beg for mercy. No one bothers to put up a fight! The story makes no sense. Just terrible. Granted, I am willing to test the depths of the bottom of the barrel when it comes to horror films, but I can't see who this film would appeal to other than horny twelve-year-old boys with no access to cable or the internet. Even Ron Jeremy should be ashamed of this film.

It is great at being what it's supposed to be; horrorotica. This movie is directly along the lines of the Devil Inside Her and Devil in Miss Jones; Scrap Book, and others of that style. It's a poor horror movie, and a poor adult entertainment film, but it works as horrorotica. If you'll looking for sex and gore to the Nth degree, this is a good movie, if you're looking for anything else, go somewhere else. Satanic love abounds in this tribute to "porn" and satanic worship. Many cameo appearances by both porn stars and independent circuit wrestlers. The story line is straight out of late 70s slasher flicks, and makes a good modern throwback the that era. Beyond that, it's a B movie, take that into consideration before going after this one