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Michael Ironside in Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (2005)

Michael Ironside: Sam Fisher

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

Michael Ironside credited as playing...

Sam Fisher

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Quotes32

  • Anna: The Maria Narcissa.
  • Sam Fisher: Sounds like your setting me up for another blind date.
  • Anna: The Maria Narcissa is a boat.
  • Sam Fisher: So was the last girl you set me up with.
  • Anna: Fisher!
  • Sam Fisher: Sorry.
  • Sam Fisher: Lambert, now that I got 50 million bucks with me, it's time to talk about a raise.
  • Irving Lambert: Hmmm. 25 cents an hour and not a penny more.
  • Sam Fisher: Deal.
  • Anna: The missile is closing in fast on the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan.
  • Sam Fisher: Wait a minute... did you just say I have to win one for the Gipper?
  • Anna: Dude, what does that even mean?
  • Sam Fisher: Never mind. You're right Grim; I am old.
  • Douglas Shetland: [pointing guns at one another] It doesn't have to end like this, Sam.
  • Sam Fisher: No, but it does have to end.
  • Douglas Shetland: On that we agree. We've been fighting thei dirty little wars our whole lives, and where do we end up? Staring at each other down the barrels of our guns. Nothing has changed, Sam, but I won't change my degrees. We have to tear it down and start over; it's the only way.
  • Sam Fisher: Your own little Chaos Theory; throw the whole world into war and hope that what comes out the other side is better?
  • Douglas Shetland: It will be better because this war will change things, Sam. Every other war has been about keeping things the same, but the status quo doesn't work anymore. America is sick, Sam... she's dying; the politicians, the bureaucrats, the whispered backroom deals, it's all life support for a sick old woman who was dead long ago.
  • Sam Fisher: The only backroom deals I've seen lately have been made by you. You're a murderer and a war criminal.
  • Douglas Shetland: Those are the only names the state has for the revolutionaries. You only become a hero after the war is over. You know the truth; the world is built from the bottom-up, not the other way around. Honor, courage, fidelity, we don't inherit these things from the world, Sam; we build the world from them. You believe in these things more than any government, and I know because of it you wouldn't shoot and old friend
  • Sam Fisher: [staring over Shetland's corpse] You're right, Doug; I wouldn't shoot an old friend.
  • Sam Fisher: [at a Japanese tea house, Sam has grabbed a guard from behind in a choke-hold] Bad news.
  • Guard: Agh! I knew it! I knew there were ninjas around here!
  • Sam Fisher: What?
  • Guard: Yeah, you've gotta be a ninja. How else could you sneak up and grab me like that?
  • Sam Fisher: Listen, I don't know what...
  • Guard: Wow! A real, live, ninja! I can't believe it!
  • Sam Fisher: Listen, I'm going to kill you if...
  • Guard: *Wow*! Killed by a ninja... cool!
  • Sam Fisher: [after putting the exec. in a chokehold] Nice suit. Italian?
  • Displace Executive: Grrgghhh... yes! Andretti!
  • Sam Fisher: What?
  • Displace Executive: Andretti; famous designer: men's suits and tuxedos.
  • Sam Fisher: I'm not a tuxedo kind of guy.
  • Displace Executive: Grrrrgghhhh... are you a spy?
  • Sam Fisher: Yeah, the real kind, not the tuxedo kind. I'm the kind that makes you bleed all over your Andretti unless you give me information!
  • Displace Executive: Oh, God!
  • Guard: [after being taken captive by Sam at the ISDF Building] Who are you?
  • Sam Fisher: I'm the good guy here to save your world.
  • Guard: I thought I was the good guy.
  • Sam Fisher: No, no you're the side with the super secret underground base and I'm the guy who's trying to break in to the base which makes me the good guy.
  • Irving Lambert: [after stabilizing Admiral Otomo] Okay, Fisher, he's stable. Now, for your extraction; you'll have to blast your way out.
  • [of the submerged Japanese ISDF headquarters]
  • Sam Fisher: [shouts] We're over a hundred feet under water!
  • Irving Lambert: But you're not pressurized. It will be a shock, but you won't get the bends.
  • Sam Fisher: Next time, you're going on the mission and I'm coming up with the crazy plan.
  • Irving Lambert: [Sam reaches a crash site] Fisher, that plane is too badly damaged for you to recover the data, but we can't let it fall into North Korean hands. NKA recovery teams are already inbound. Call in an airstrike on the area.
  • Sam Fisher: And leave those pilots to die?
  • Irving Lambert: I'm telling you what the objective is. You have your orders. Call the air strike. That building will be a perfect vantage point.
  • [Sam picks one up]
  • Irving Lambert: Fisher, I told you to leave them and call the air strike!
  • Sam Fisher: Yeah, well, you gave me my orders, and I'll follow them, once I get the pilots out.
  • Irving Lambert: Fisher, if you compromise the mission for those men...
  • [Sam saves one]
  • Irving Lambert: Great. Now you can call that air strike.
  • [Sam picks up the other]
  • Irving Lambert: What are you doing?
  • Sam Fisher: No point saving one and not the other.
  • Irving Lambert: You don't even exist, Fisher. You won't get any medals for this.
  • Sam Fisher: Medals won't help me sleep at night.
  • Irving Lambert: Now you've saved both of them. Can you call that air strike now?
  • Sam Fisher: Talk, but talk quietly.
  • Guard: I'll tell you anything. I'm the biggest coward you've ever met.
  • Sam Fisher: That's quite a claim.
  • Guard: I've already wet myself.
  • Sam Fisher: Well, then you've made the top ten. Where's Zherkezhi?
  • Guard: Somewhere at the far end. In the tea house maybe.
  • Sam Fisher: All right, I think it's time for you to take a nap now.
  • Guard: I'm such a coward. You should kill me anyway, I dont deserve to live.
  • Sam Fisher: You are pretty spineless, actually.
  • Guard: I'm so ashamed.
  • Sam Fisher: [having grabbed one of the men torturing Morganholt] I already don't like you, so don't make this any worse for yourself.
  • Anna: [after Sam uploads a final tracer to a server during the Displace mission] Thanks Sam... that's the last one. I can't wait to sniff around in Displace's laundry basket
  • Sam Fisher: Awwww...
  • Anna: What?
  • Sam Fisher: Laundry... I totally forgot...
  • Sam Fisher: Lasers? Lasers are so...
  • Anna: Nineties?
  • Sam Fisher: I was going to say "seventies". Could you please stop making me feel old?
  • Anna: I've got bad news for you, Sam, you *are* old.
  • [Fisher shoots a civilian who was tortured to death]
  • Irving Lambert: Fisher! What the hell are you doing?
  • Sam Fisher: Just making sure he wasn't suffering.
  • Irving Lambert: Well, leaving NATO rounds in his body isn't going to look good, is it? Get back to work!
  • Irving Lambert: [alternative] Sam, leave the body and move on.
  • [Sam releases the body]
  • Irving Lambert: I told you to leave the body! We don't have time for this
  • Sam Fisher: I don't have to leave him hanging here like a piece of meat. You can spare 30 seconds for some simple dignity.
  • Captain Arthur Partridge: When was the last time I saw you?
  • Sam Fisher: I'm afraid I have no recollection of that, Senator.
  • Captain Arthur Partridge: That's right!
  • Admiral Toshiro Otomo: American! What have you done?
  • Sam Fisher: Give it up, Admiral; it's over.
  • Admiral Toshiro Otomo: Ha! Do you think that I will surrender to you? Allow your people to strip me of my dignity? Throw me in chains? No, my people have endured your *charming* oppression for more than sixty years!
  • Sam Fisher: You say tomato...
  • Admiral Toshiro Otomo: Americans; always turning to their jokes when their hearts are full of fear. You should be afraid; I may be defeated, but I am a man and ideas are stronger than men. You may have stopped this war, American, but the dragon has been awakened, and he will not be so easily sedated this time.
  • [Otomo unsheathes a sword and attempts to commit Sepuku]
  • Irving Lambert: [over Fisher's radio] What happened?
  • Sam Fisher: I think someone is taking himself a little too seriously.
  • Irving Lambert: Well, we can't afford to let him die, Fisher. Get in there and stablize him. Hurry!
  • Sam Fisher: [interrogating the base commander] It's a game of position, colonel and you've already lost. Do you need to condemn 50,000 men, as well?
  • North Korean Colonel: They're not my men, they're your men, American.
  • Sam Fisher: They're not my men, Colonel, they're just men, sons, husbands and fathers like you and me. Do they need to die for our mistakes?
  • Guard: [after being taken captive by Sam on the roof of the Displace office] Hey who are you?
  • Sam Fisher: Pretend I'm Harry Tuttle
  • Guard: Who?
  • Sam Fisher: I'm an ill-tempered, heavily-armed heating engineer who's asking questions about your ventilation system!
  • Guard: I guess, I guess it hasn't been working properly since the blackout.
  • Sam Fisher: So it shouldn't take much to shut down that big fan if i wanted to.
  • Guard: I, I don't know why would you want to do that?
  • Sam Fisher: The adventure, the travel.
  • Guard: ...Okay
  • Sam Fisher: [taking a Peruvian guard captive] You look important.
  • Guard: I am loyal you will get nothing from me.
  • Sam Fisher: Is that so? Hmm. It looks like you forgot to shave this morning, here let me help.
  • [starts sliding his knife]
  • Guard: Hey, what are you doing? OK. OK. What do you want to know?
  • Sam Fisher: You weren't working for government during the Gulf War?
  • Anna: No. I was in tenth grade.
  • Sam Fisher: Oh. Right. Yuck.

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