- Dennis: You know, I mean, I didn't do you any favours on that day, ok? I did a stupid, stupid thing. But it was only because I thought spoiling your day was better than ruining your life. Does that make any sense?
- [Mr. Ghoshtashtidar has just stopped Vincent from smashing Gordon's fingers in a piano]
- Gordon: Thanks for that, Mr. G!
- Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Your friend is a man of honor.
- Gordon: What, Vincent?
- Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Yes! He said he's going to kick shit out of you later instead!
- TV Commentator: [It's just been revealed that Whit tripped Dennis during a TV replay of the marathon] Yes! He deliberately trips him! Bastard!
- Dennis: As you get older, you're gonna realize there are a lot of things that you don't like. Things much worse than this. And when those things happen, you can't just run away.
- Jake: why not?
- Dennis: Because it doesn't solve the problem. The problem's still there. You've got to stick at it, and then figure out a way to solve the problem, even if it's really really hard.
- Jake: Is that what you do, Dad?
- Dennis: [just looking helpless and speechless...]
- Jake: Dad?
- Dennis: [surprised] What are you doing here?
- Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I'm the assistant coach.
- Dennis: How'd you get to be assistant coach?
- Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Because I have the spatula!
- [whacks Dennis with it]
- Dennis: I thought it would be a good chance for me to get to know Whit a little better, so...
- Libby: Well, maybe we should all go out to dinner then?
- Dennis: Really?
- Libby: Yeah, and then we could go dancing...
- Dennis: You're joking...?
- Libby: No, not at all. And afterwards we could come back here and have a threesome.
- Dennis: [thinks it over] You *are* joking.
- Libby: Of course, I am!
- Man in Bakery: I would settle for something shaped like a fish.
- Dennis: Go to a fishmonger!
- Man in Bakery: I'm a vegetarian.
- [during the race]
- Dennis: Isn't it enough?
- Whit: What?
- Dennis: You got the girl, all right? Isn't it enough?
- Whit: I just think it's high time you realized that it's over, sir! Otherwise, it's gonna be very tough for you when we move to Chicago!
- Dennis: What?
- Whit: [off their pace, trying to discourage Dennis] You'd better slow down there, chief! You've got a long way to go!
- Dennis: Yeah, well - so have you!
- [Dennis accelerates past Whit]
- Whit: Oh, yeah! Yes, I like it! Run, fatboy, run!
- [Whit takes his lead back, but as Dennis passes him one more time...]
- Dennis: I can lose weight... but you'll always be an arsehole!
- Dennis: I know doing this thing isn't going to change anything or make anything better but um. I would just settle for your respect. I'd settle for you smiling about the time we had together and not think it was a waste of time.
- Whit: [At the hospital, after Jake plays with the hospital bed causing it to fall backwards] God dam it WILL YOU STOP MESSING AROUND WITH THE BED YA LITTLE SHIT?
- TV Commentator: [Dennis is continuing the marathon into the night on a sprained ankle and torn leg] Just now joining us is Dennis Doyle, a clothing store security guard, running for the last ten and three quarter hours on basically one leg, He's refusing to rest until this race is run, unbelievable!
- TV Commentator: [Dennis just finished the marathon] He's done it! He's actually done it! This morning, Dennis Doyle was a humble shop worker from north London, tonight, he goes home a hero!