Cloud 9

White trash beach volleyball extravaganza. Definitely a straight-to-video kind of thing, with many, many dodgy characters. The one dodgier than the next. Starts off in a way that I cringe at the sight of this amateur-looking thing posing as the afternoon's entertainment. But it does get better, the girls carry it. No credit to Burt. But it does get a whole lot better, they do manage to carry this off, against all odds, just like the volleyball team in the movie.

Forget about Burt Reynolds. Forget about Gabrielle Reece. Forget about the volleyball too. The poster should have been of Marnette and Katheryn. I didn't buy this DVD for any other reason. I knew the movie was going to be stupid, I downloaded that first stretch, and with aging Burt Reynolds in it, I didn't even need the clue. I just checked up on the girls before buying, and by the time the downloaded bit hit that leggy dressing room scene, that was all I needed to see. I am possibly one of Marnette Patterson's craziest nuts-about- her fans, and I collect all her movies, ever since stumbling across her (oh, I wish) in the final season of otherwise off-putting CHARMED, and Katheryn, a hot fiery chick with cute attitude, was magnificent in her one-off appearance as Kelly in "Partners", an episode of NIKITA, also LOVE & OTHER DRUGS in which she had a small but attractive part.

Needless to regale, they appear in this movie as strippers- turned-show-volleyball-players. Both of them do not only look good in a bikini, they are out-of-this-world drop dead gorgeous with toned and not tanned bodies, sculpted to perfection, I mean, not an iota of fat on those two, sleeker tummies than those are impossible. They are so beautiful they hurt to look at, but in a good way. They also do a fine job portraying their loopy characters. Katheryn is Russian import Olga messing with the English language ('wally ball'), and Marnette is sweet Crystal, you know, in the Pamela Anderson mold.

If you're terminally into pretty actresses, like me, this is for you. Otherwise stay away. Movie has D-U-M-B written all over it. Especially as you wade in, reluctantly, 'cause the thing's off-putting the way it starts. Infuriatingly thick-headed and dense guy alert, the movie teems with them. Oh, and Burt is here because he's a big name, he isn't even remotely the slick wily old rogue character he is supposed to be portraying.

But it does get better. Like a loser team managing to score. Come on, it's a train-wreck, but there are some damn fine moments. They all involve Grade A flesh.

Okay, and finally, no longer ignoring Gabrielle Reece. I am not qualified to comment, I know too little, but I wonder how much of the acting was the for-real person? I'll bet that's Gabrielle in real life! Come on, in real life, those girls are neither prostitutes nor strippers, only cute actresses, but Gabrielle is definitely the product of steroids. Definitely. Okayyyy, perhaps not, but from her looks... And volleyball appears to be a spectator fun sport. Do we need a...??? Don't we rather need bikini beauties?

My review seems to be wandering between like and dislike. While there are loads to dislike, there is more to like. Let me try once more:

Movie summed up: You'll end up cheering for them! And that says a whole lot!

Bought the movie from Barnes and Noble and it arrived yesterday....i couldn't find it anywhere online to just watch for free but the buy was definitely worth it!

I laughed so hard I rolled out of my bed. Its not a bad movie at all.

I will admit that some speeches were a little corny but come on you can sooooo let that slide.

Angie Everhart will and always will be my favorite actor and it was nice to now that she had the most sense in the movie!

And Burt Reynolds and D.L. Hughley was a awesome duo!!!

all and all I give it between a 8.5 and a 9! don't let bad reviews stop you from trying this movie out!

Over the last ten years, Burt Reynolds has straddled the line between being an A-lister and a B-lister. His best known comeback was in 1997, when he re-emerged into the A-list spotlight with "Boogie Nights". Ten years later, he was still making good movies along the likes of "Mystery, Alaska" and the decent remake of "The Longest Yard". If he keeps doing movies like "Cloud 9", he may have to kiss those A-list parts goodbye again.

The problem with "Cloud 9" is not that Burt Reynolds is bad in it. In fact, the movie starts out really well with Reynolds playing a lovable loser. It's not the first time he plays one of these characters, and he usually plays it very well. It's just that the movie is boggled down with so many sports and rags-to-riches movie clichés that by the end, the movie seems far from original even though the premise is.

The premise is another great thing about this movie, and the movie had the right idea about where to go with it until the very end. The problems occur with the lack of character development. Burt Reynolds' and D.L. Hughley's characters are pretty well developed, but the strippers could have been made into more interesting characters. Instead, they are just one-dimensional stereotypes borrowed from other movies. There's the jive-talking black woman, the blond stripper with a heart of gold, the angry Latino stripper, and the Russian bombshell that no speak English good. Oh yeah, and although Angie Everheart does a better-than-expected acting job in this movie, her character has been done before. If I had a nickel for every movie where there was a smart, single mother who was forced to strip to support their only child, I'd be a millionaire. In fact, wasn't Burt Reynolds himself in a big budget film with one of those characters? The name "Striptease" rings a bell, as does the name "Demi Moore". And as I remember, that movie didn't get stellar reviews either.

Last but not least, Gabrielle Reese could have been utilized better in this movie. Sure, she's a natural fit for playing a professional volleyball athlete, since she is one in real life. But the problem comes when she expresses her objection to strippers playing volleyball, since that would bring the wrong kind of exposure to the sport. Of course she is correct and has a valid point, but the movie unevenly makes her out to be the villain of the story because of that viewpoint. Plus, the guys in the movie make fun of the fact that she's built like an athlete, which doesn't send a good message to young women who see this movie. They appear to completely forget the fact that Gaby Reese is one of the most beautiful women in the world, let alone the most gorgeous athlete. In fact, I found myself rooting for her side at the end of the film, and really not caring either way if the heroines won.

This movie was very promising. In fact, the movie started out great, and even Paul Rodriguez was funny as Juan a.k.a. Wong. However, the really important characters in this story were underdeveloped, and so many movie clichés, tired archetypes, and male posturing made this movie unenjoyable. I reiterate when I say that Burt Reynolds should probably get a new agent, because he has been in and can be in better movies.

This is quite possibly one of the worst movies I have watched in a long, long time.

After reading some of the positive comments about it though I am really shocked that some people enjoyed this. I honestly believe that this movie getting a 3.7 is about 2.7 points too much...

This movie was a complete waste of my time and just reiterated my belief that Burt Reynolds is officially an acting has-been. The acting is forced and rides along cameo appearances (and less notably, mentions) by Tony Danza (and Anthony Hopkins).

Looking at these 'strippers' play volleyball can only bring about so much excitement, and it certainly does not warrant an entire hour and a half of your life...

Stay away from this movie if you can, its not deserving of any of your money, or you time for that matter.

Do not watch this movie. There are 2 reasons for that:

1. It is so boring that it tops the list of the most boring films ever made. It felt at some points that is is a porno film, but when any girl got half naked the scene ended. The level of the dialogs remain though at the level of porno films.

2. Strippers are couched to be volleyball players. I really feel that it undermines the dedication and the amount of work needed to be a professional athlete.

This is a porn movie with a lame plot that characterizes porn movies in general, but with all the "skin parts" removed. It's a huge waste of time! They should pay me for the time I spent watching this (even so I wouldn't do it again).