Cemetery Gates

I had some mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand it's just a simple effort with a pretty dull story, lame characters and bad acting written all over it. The only actor worth mentioning, of course, is Reggie Bannister. He's enjoyable to watch, as always, but that's about it. So story- and acting-wise, I was just expecting a bit too much from it. Wrong bet, so it seemed, because this movie is actually not to be taken serious at all. That's just the way the filmmakers intended it. So when you can keep that in mind, that's when the fun starts. Lots, and I do mean LOTS of gory splatter killings by a grotesque looking creature (a giant mutant Tasmanian Devil) doing all the shredding while tunneling itself a way underneath a cemetery ("The Dark" from 1994 starring Brion James and Neve Campbell, anyone?). When you also consider that this movie was meant to be a throwback at the 80's/early 90's creature features (so no lousy CGI to be found in this one), you just can't help yourself but to roll with it and have a fun time. And that's just what "Cemetery Gates" will do: give you a bit of entertainment (horrific, bloody & silly) with a rather bad movie. So it gets extra credit for that. Or maybe I'm just giving the film some free points for that one blond bimbo babe that loves to show her two naked goodies a lot (nearly every chance she gets).

Cemetery Gates can't be seen like a real movie. You must be drunk or doped so that you could not laugh about it. Terrible acting and lousy editing complements with a stupid story, dumb teens, dumb persons but with a good FX. Gore abounds and sometimes is really cheesy, other pretty good. Nevetherless you can't take this movie in consideration and the best way to see it is to make fun of it and to spit up a good dose of laughs... nothing more. The acting is beyond mediocre, the dialog is abominable and the only positive thing is the creature itself... even then you'll notice how bad screened it is sometimes.

You must see this low budget movie in a humorous manner and you must strip yourself off reality and stupidity. Actually it's better you see it with your friends if you want to have a good and freaky animated afternoon attended by a big pack of beers and kilograms of weed...

This movie really sucked and the money spent on it could have been injected into a charity center for homeless people or an orphanage...

As the schlock movie gods would have it, a pair of melon-headed environmental activists invade a research lab, and decide to set an experimental creature free. Said creature is a murderous mutant, a humongous Tasmanian devil in fact! It just happens to escape near the local cemetery, where a young horror movie director is working on his latest project. Terror and bloody dismemberment, disembowelment, and death unfold.

Packed to overflowing with idiot characters -including, yes, hillbillies- spouting mindless dialogue, there's plenty of food for the monster.

CEMETERY GATES is another gore film starring Reggie Bannister. As gun-toting scientist, Belmont, he's the only non-imbecilic character in the movie. As for the ferocious furball itself, it's shown mostly in flashes, revealing just enough to show its utter, man-in-a-hairy-suit cheapness. Still, it's the best part of the movie! There is extended female topless-ness at one point, helping to deaden the overall pain.

Fueled by plenty of potent beverages or funny cigarettes, this is quite enjoyable...

"Cemetary Gates" is a movie that wants to be like 70's and 80's creature flicks like "Alligator" or "Prophecy". Well, it has a cool monster, and some nice gore effects, so where does it go wrong?

Well, for one thing, the comedy aspects of the movie really fall flat. Jokes such as the recording of a man's diarrhea, poorly done sex gags, and other such things hurt it considerably. Sure, horror and comedy can go together, but not when the jokes suck.

Also, the acting is pretty bad. Everyone seems unenthusiastic, especially Reggie ("Phantasm") Bannister as the scientist father. At least Howard Berger and Greg Nicotero are amusing as two stoner types.

Oh, and there are also the two annoying hillbilly characters that feel like a bad "MadTV" version of "Deliverence."

In the end, the movie is a major missed opportunity. If done with a better script and better characters, it could have been a winner. In the end though, that's all you get: Could have been.

I can't believe this has been rated so high - and average 4/10? This movie was terrible. I love gore and bad horror movies, and this was surely that, but it still sucked. The 'blood' in this movie looked exactly like the blueberry syrup I put on my waffles every morning. And I HATED every single character in this film. These people should never act again. The stupid pot-smoking teenage actors gave the worst most annoying performances ever captured on film. So maybe that is the only thing this movie achieved, because it didn't really do much else. It certainly didn't scare me, and it wasn't funny or amusing, except possibly with the way some of the people were unbelievably killed.