Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon

The movie starts off with a bunch of stock footage of a motor-bike race, and continues for about another 15 minutes until there's a fight at a bar with sports Photographer Max Havoc (they don't tell us his middle name) and some bimbo.

Then we're off to Guam for some travel promo stuff, and then the films over.

Sure there's a couple of poorly executed fights, some running around in a hotel, a row boat/swimmer wreak, and about 350 shots of the same slow-mo shot of Max punching someone, but that's about it.

Albert Pyun has made the worst movie of his sorry-ass career (I mean it, too. It's worse then those Urban Menace films)

This movie had to be a scam, all the way around. Someone got some movie budget money in their pockets and now everything's in court.

Can I file a lawsuit against Pyun & Co. for having had watch this thing?

Don't waste a penny of your $ or a second of your time on Max Havoc- Curse of the Dragon

Max Havoc is not a cinematic masterpiece. In fact it's a poorly produced movie. the attempt of trying to make a Hollywood action movie on a beer budget is clearly evident and does not work. What saves this train wreck of a movie is Joanna Krupa. She might be one of the hottest women in Hollywood. My GF said she can't act. I disagree and wish my GF would move out. She's a failed actress and comedian who hates on other people that actually appear in movies. Where Max Havoc took a bad turn was not more Joanna Krupa. The director or producer or studio should have included nudity parts with Joanna Krupa. When you cast eye candy you have to show eye candy. I do hate when movies feature a star like Carmen Electra on a DVD cover when they have a minor part in the movie. It's like bait and switch. I hope that Joanna Krupa is more movies.

We've all seen them: bad movies. However, MAX HAVOC: CURSE OF THE DRAGON sinks to uncharted lows of stupidity and boredom. I guess this mess seemed like a good idea to some mentally bankrupt "Hollywood Never-Beens," but even an Elementary school film-maker wouldn't be proud of this celluloid atrocity.

A sports photographer goes to the Island of Guam to shoot pictures of something, I don't know what and the screenwriters (There were two!!!) doesn't seem to know either. His name, Max Havoc, is straight out of a bad 80's action film (except it's a bad 2004 action film). While in Guam he runs into some girls who can't act and they involve him in some mind numbing plot points and there's lots of remedial kung-fu "action."

Carmen Electra is in the film for all of 10 seconds but she's got the top-billing. (Yeah, it's one of those rip-off films. The DVD case says: STARRING CARMEN ELECTRA and she's barely in the film. Not only are you, the viewer, ripped off by this film it looks like the Islanders on Guam were ripped off too as the producers got the Locals to sign a loan deal that went bad ((of course - they make bad movies and default on production loans!!)) or some such sh*t.)

There's all the clichéd scenes you expect in a Grade-F "action film." Lots of slow-motion, yelling and running around. No car chases but there is an "action" scene with a boat that's going about 2mph! The girls don't take any clothes off, so you don't even got that. The film reminded me of one of those bad "skin-a-max" films you see in Hotel rooms, except there was no porn in this film just bad story, bad sets, bad acting, bad lighting and bad direction. At least the film-makers were consistently bad: Not one single good thing appears anywhere in this film!

The film ends (thank you, God!): Max Havoc chases away the bad kung-fu guys and gets the girl, Guam gets pinched for the film's budget and you, for having made the mistake of picking this turd up, gets ripped off for whatever Blockbuster charged you.

A friend of mine in Guam sent me a video of this movie that was made there with Guam Government money. It was utterly stupid and beyond pointless. I feel bad for the Guam Government for losing money in the scam. They'll never make money on this pile o' sh*t movie.

It's about a sport's photographer who goes to Guam to take pictures of some hotel. He meets some girls (playboy model Joanna Kruppa plays one of the girls - in a cover story for Playboy Kruppa called MAX HAVOC "really stupid!" Well she's right) and some kung-fu gang is chasing her. I don't know why. Anyways, Max Havoc helps her out. The fights are so poorly done, it looks like stuff my kids shoot on their Hi-8 Video camera. But beyond that, MAX HAVOC is so BORING. You want to fast forward through it, but that doesn't even help!

The movie makes not a lick of sense and it's hard to imagine someone making a film this bad. I IMDb'd MAX HAVOC director Albert Pyun and he makes really awful movies, so I guess it makes sense that he made MAX HAVOC. That seems to be his forte: making really bad movies, but not "so bad they're good" movies say in the spirit of Ed Wood, his movies just flat out suck. Talk about ZERO talent. I wonder if he cons people like he conned the Guam Government when he made this film. What a legacy!

If you see this movie in the video store (somehow I don't think it will ever make it off the island of Guam), hold your nose!

Due to the controversy involving a defaulted loan secured by the government of Guam, I had a particular interest in getting to watch this movie. More than the usual, being an Albert Pyun fan as I am.

Pyun goes back to the late 80's and early 90's with this movie, the days when he directed wooden martial artists like Jean Claude Van Damme, Olivier Gruner and Sasha Mitchell.

This movie revolves around a former kick-boxing champ turned sports photographer, and his peculiar ability to run into trouble wherever he goes. Funny enough, his name is Max Havoc. Mr. Havoc is sent to Guam for an easy job and to relax. BUt he runs into, first, with two troublesome teen sisters, one smart and one brain-dead (guess for which he fell?), and then with an entire Japanese organization, who's after a stolen jade dragon.

The lead is the Swiss nobody Mickey Hardt. He has the charisma of an amoeba, and his acting skills leave much to be desired. But this is not a dramatic piece, or the tale of an epic battle. This is a martial arts flick and in what regards kicking and punching and beating, Hardt does not disappoint. And despite this, Havoc is a well-natured fellow. Probably the guy every father'd want for her daughter (I just said that? Lame.) There're some strange surprises on the cast. Richard Roundtree ("SHaft") plays Havoc's former trainer now antique dealer. Carmen Elektra tries to "show her place" to Havoc during four scenes, for which she got one hundred grand. David Carradine plays Bill... again. All in automatic. Don't expect any acting shocking you.

Then there are these two sisters. Neither of them can act well and there's this strange lesbic trend in their scenes together. Not as evident as in Bill's...sorry, Carradine's assistants, and way too subtle.

Pyun's directing is normal here. The fights are well-choreographed yet there's an unnecessary over-repetition of the flashback scene that could have been done without. It lacks that special something though.

Far better than some action junk Lorenzo Lamas has done. It has good martial arts, nice scenes, beautiful views of Guam, plenty of girls in bikini, but you'll want to press MUTE when the sisters start talking. It's a watchable flick. For only one watch.