Now I'm prepared to offer a low budget film like this a lot of slack, but when the film in question takes that slack, shoves it down it's pants, goes for a half marathon and then proceeds to rub that sweaty, fetid slack all over my face, things don't turn out well. Let's put it this way: This is the worst film I've watched since 9 ½ Ninjas.
The story is this: Our six victims are going camping in the hills and end up somewhere they shouldn't. If you like annoying people, then get ready to meet this lot because you're going to be spending a long time with them. You've got your smart arse outdoors type, his girlfriend the neurotic one, an opinionated lawyer and her dopey boyfriend, a 'sensitive' type girl and her annoying boyfriend Deuce, and I can only name him because I wanted to throttle him after about five minutes.
But that's the way with horror films, right? We meet our annoying folk and then they're massacred and everybody goes home happy. That doesn't happen here. This film, believe it or not, is all about our annoying folk driving, talking, joking, arguing, looking for water, moaning, bickering, joshing, and very briefly making out, none of which has any bearing whatsoever on what happens in the end anyway.
Seriously – the lawyer chick gives her boyfriend a hard time because he's not committed enough to his employer (?), Deuce gives him a hard time for not being able to swim (?), the lawyer comes out with the longest speech about some guy appearing in her room with a knife, and the sensitive girl 'feels' that something is wrong while the filmmakers occasionally remember they're making a horror film and try badly to inject a sense of dread into the film, using the usual clichés of POV shots of someone watching the group (which once again has no bearing on the ending).
After being actively enraged by the 'antics' of these 'actors', the film pulls the final insult of making you realise about forty-five minutes in that nothing at all is going to happen until the end. Let me state this plainly to anyone tempted to watch this: Nothing happens until the last ten minutes of the film. That's how long you're stuck with this lot walking haemorrhoids Story wise they want to go to a campsite but end up needing gas and go to a creepy station where the attendant gives them directions and tell them not to go a certain way, so of course they go that way, spend hours of film setting up camp, then something turns up and forces them all to kill themselves. You'll want to do the same thing after wasting your time watching this kack.
Deuce is by far the worst here. I had no idea if he was meant to be dumb, 'wacky' or mentally ill. The rest aren't much better but all of them are all over the place emoting wise. Just check out the lawyers speech, which manages to start off with "You don't know what fear is" then includes "I wasn't scared" then "I was scared but I wasn't" then "but I was scared". This is followed by the outdoors guy coming out with something that made no sense, followed by a Jack Nicholson impression that was so bad it caused an earthquake in the Suriname.
Watching a film like this is the sensory equivalent of going outside and headbutting a dog sh!t over and over again. Truly dreadful.
