- Randall: Can I borrow your car?
- Tom: Yeah, man, you know... Just leave the keys on the tire and don't get any blood on the back seat.
- Randall: I wouldn't dream of it. I want this to be special, you know, like in the middle of the woods, up against a tree.
- Regina: You're a pig.
- Randall: You're a dyke.
- Regina: Die a violent death.
- Librarian: [catches Owen and Dodger, thinking they were about to make out] Go check out German Philosophy. No one will bother you there.
- Randall: That means, if I may, that if you upon some nasty pictures of the victim on the internet don't forward them to the whole school.
- Rich Walker: A resounding no to sensitivity and respect from Mr. Hodge.
- Randall: Just because you're Tom's new bunk buddy doesn't mean you have to be his bitch.
- Owen Matthews: You don't really think the angry homophobe thing is fooling anyone, do you?
- Regina: And they only just found that girl's body today because it was dragged through the woods by a wolf.
- Tom: Yeah listen, the guy blew her head off. Then just let the wild life go to town.
- Mercedes: Why's it have to be a guy?
- Tom: Serial killers are always guys.
- Regina: Just the ones that get caught, baby.
- Mercedes: Serial means more than one, jackass.
- Tom: You're not taking your SAT book to my lake house this weekend, are you?
- [first lines]
- Radio Announcer: In related news, local woman Becky Roberts has been missing now for more than 24 hours... .