The Gingerdead Man

I have been a huge fan of Charles Band and his entire body work as both a producer and director for many years now. If I were to delve into specifics, my first experience of a Charles Band production was the 'Gremlins'in disguise movie that Luca Bercovici directed 'Ghoulies' of course it was until I later watched 'Trancers' that I truly became a devotee of the great man's output.

However that said, it comes as a grave disappointment to have to say, that with the fall of Empire pictures, and the lack of consistency with Full Moon Pictures, and all the other divisions within the same outfit, this latest movie, arrives as something of a major disappointment.

I'll be honest, I have watched every movie good or bad, that has carried Charles Band's name on it. Whether it was a Tim Kincaid movie or even a David Decoteau movie in disguise.

It must be said though that the fan's patience is really wearing a bit thin, when it comes to this latest exercise in pint sized terror.

A novel idea though this is, is seems slightly undercooked in every way. I can always remember vividly, that to cut down on film costs, when Empire Pictures had they're studio in Rome, they used to film the movies using one set, such gems like 'Dolls' 'From Beyond' why even the mighty 'Celler Dweller' was a one set wonder.

The same applies to this movie, yes it's set in a bakery, the movie itself takes place during a nigh-time shift.

As the movie begins we witness the actions of Gary Busey crazed psycho going gun happy in a local Texan diner, then we flash forward to just another day down amongst the cream buns.

I have to say, although the lack of budget was a major factor, the lack of any real acting talent and any real gusto to the script made me pay attention.

I can only imagine, that whatever funds Charles Band raised for this movie, a small some went towards the special effects and the vast majority went straight into Gary Busey back pocket.

I found it stranger that the writing partnership of William Butler and Domonic Muir should write this script using aliases, that being said, so too did Don Mancini when he also penned 'Celler Dweller' but looked which way Mancini's career went and by the looks of it the same can be said of Butler and Muir.

The ending of this movie suggests a sequel, although I'm sure we will see the 'Gingerdead Man' doll long before we see such a dreaded beast as a follow up to this miserable exercise.

My two stars are awarded basically for the presence of Band's name and that of Busey's

Before I get blasted, I want to acknowledge that I am familiar with Full Moon films and have seen quite a few over the years (the 'Trancers' series is among my favorites), but 'The Gingerdead Man' was an unfortunate mess. There are pros and cons, though... and believe it or not, the killer cookie (looking very much like it's made of rubber) is the best part.

I've become a fan of Gary Busey in his "is he insane?" recent years, so his presence either in live form or vocally as a cookie is really amusing. The other actors aren't as bad as one might expect, either. But everything else in the film drags and drags and draaaaaaags, not to mention the production budget appears to be under $100 (check out the bakery sign that looks like it was painted for a junior high pep rally). I know these flicks are self-financed, and that's a great thing, but there wasn't much to work with.

The movie clocks in at around 60 minutes, so for there to be so many slow spots (i.e., scenes sans cookie) it was difficult to watch. Will this be a cult classic? Yeah, probably, just given the featured actor and the premise. But it's just not very good, even by Full Moon's standards.

Sometimes you've just gotta watch a stinker, and this undoubtedly fits that bill. It's the brief (but not quite brief enough) saga of a cold-blooded killer who's put to death, then somehow returns to life as a stabbin', laughin', wise-crackin', foot-tall slab of holiday confectionery. As if that premise needed a little extra kick, this monstrous devil-cookie also happens to be voiced by Gary Busey. The concept itself is hilarious for all of ten minutes, but burns out quickly as the plot tries, courageously but hopelessly, to make us care about his victims. It's atrociously acted of course, the equivalent of D-grade porn stars who keep their clothes on, so those misguided storytelling efforts don't even have a fighting chance. A moment rarely passes without some manner of absurd stupidity. If it isn't a particularly bad pun, a wickedly awful special effect or a pathetic dash of vacant dialog, surely there's a glaringly obvious editing mistake in view. We're talking night-becomes-day-becomes-night, several times in the same scene. Removing a baking pan from the oven with bare hands, commenting on how its contents are freshly scorched, then casually setting it aside. Firing seventeen times from a six-shooter. Though it runs for just an hour and ten minutes, that seems about twice as long as it should've. I had almost as much fun glancing at the cover art as I did watching the entire thing.

This man turns into an indescribable mess everything he touches. And "The Gingerdead Man" is the proof. The proof that Band finally lost it. He no longer makes movies, he unmakes them. He demolishes, maims, mauls, distorts, destroys and deforms everything that a movie is. How can this be a movie: it has NO logical plot, in fact, it has no plot at all, it has NO acting, even Busey's acting was shameful, it has NOTHING that makes it a movie. And what genre is it anyway? Comedy? Horror (I doubt it)? Sci-Fi? Trash? Garbage? I tell you: it is a new genre that Band invented: WASTED TIME: LIFE-SUCKING BRAINWASHING ULTRA DULL SENSELESS NOTHINGNESS. People will enjoy Band's movies when he will stop making them. But I cannot blame him anymore, the man is just making a living, hell, at least he made something out of him. But seriously, Charles, if you're reading this, for the love of God, stop. Please, stop. It is enough. You tried and you failed. You are no director, you are no writer. Stick to producing, doll-making or whatever you do. Don't destroy young minds. Don't waste your and our time. And leave Gary Busey alone.

"The Gingerdead Man" has a promising plot, and thinking that it would be similar to such gems as "Jack Frost", I decided to rent it from Netflix. My rental would have been better used elsewhere.

So, here's the plot. Gary Busey, playing a psychotic killer guy, gets sent to the electric chair because of one girl's testimony. See, this girl's brother and father were killed by Psycho Busey, and because Busey didn't kill her, the girl testified against her.

Well, one night, the said girl is making a gingerbread cookie in her little bakery (that looks so rundown from the front that you wonder why anyone would ever go in there) and somehow the cookie comes to life. Now if you read the plot line on the Netflix sleeve, it says that Psycho Busey's ashes found their way into the cookie. Apparently if you cook ashes in an oven, they come back to life in the form of whatever they're in. But you don't go into movies about killer cookies looking for plot lines.

Unfortunately, "The Gingerdead Man" doesn't have anything to offer. Sure, there's Gary Busey in cookie form, and he's good for a few laughs, but the VAST majority of the movie is just filler. The 60-minute running time (does that really qualify this as a real movie?) seems like 2 hours, because most of the movie is just people running around the bakery going "what is that thing", "I think it's Gary Busey", and "well, let's run away". Except they don't run away, even if they could have easily just tore out of the bakery and ran to safety.

Ultimately, the killer cookie plot can't save this dull, horrible movie that looked like it was made for $20. Seriously, I could make this movie. It isn't even the low budget that does it in, it's the fact that the movie is just dull, it has no even somewhat cool kills and there's just not enough killer cookie goodness. I was expecting a "so bad it's good" movie, but I just got a really, really bad movie that wasn't even unintentionally funny. Disappointment.