An Insult To Firefighters Everywhere
I created an account here after viewing this travesty of a 'movie' on TV.
Wooden acting (if the heavy handed and stilted script can even be described as such) and numerous other faults compound to make this a disaster movie of epic proportions...except the fire isn't the disaster here. It's the movie itself.
First off the bat are the laughable characters. A convict who then leads a team of firefighters? What were the producers smoking when somebody came up with the script? Not only is the premise obscenely stupid (and an insult of firefighters), the actress who plays the character clearly cannot deliver a decent line without sounding like she's reading off a cue card. Her screen presence is laughable, and the scenes where she tries to order people around are especially cringe-worthy...I've heard nails been dragged across a chalkboard that was more pleasing to the ears. Oh wait...ALL her lines sound like that. How does somebody without a smidgen of acting ability and a voice like a hyena(a hyena with a very bad sore throat) get into movies? Are they casting off the streets now?Also, how the hell would one believe she's the leader of a group of firefighters with a body like that? How's does she propose to put out a fire with her flabby physique? Rolling over them and hoping her monstrous bulk snuffs them out?
Of course, that's the just beginning of how lame this movie is. Laughable special effects(fire that look as realistic as cardboard cutouts) make even movies don't in the 70s and 80s look cutting edge. Seriously, watch Clash of the Titans or Seven Voyages of Sinbad and then tell me that the SFX from those oldies don't outshine the insultingly bad ones found here.
Then there's the overuse of stock footage. More than half the time, it feels like you're watching a news program or documentary. Hell, I wished that was the case...at least you might learn something from them. The only thing you'll learn from this fiasco is to avoid it at all costs.
If you don't have the budget to make a movie, don't. This is a prime reason why not.
Wooden acting (if the heavy handed and stilted script can even be described as such) and numerous other faults compound to make this a disaster movie of epic proportions...except the fire isn't the disaster here. It's the movie itself.
First off the bat are the laughable characters. A convict who then leads a team of firefighters? What were the producers smoking when somebody came up with the script? Not only is the premise obscenely stupid (and an insult of firefighters), the actress who plays the character clearly cannot deliver a decent line without sounding like she's reading off a cue card. Her screen presence is laughable, and the scenes where she tries to order people around are especially cringe-worthy...I've heard nails been dragged across a chalkboard that was more pleasing to the ears. Oh wait...ALL her lines sound like that. How does somebody without a smidgen of acting ability and a voice like a hyena(a hyena with a very bad sore throat) get into movies? Are they casting off the streets now?Also, how the hell would one believe she's the leader of a group of firefighters with a body like that? How's does she propose to put out a fire with her flabby physique? Rolling over them and hoping her monstrous bulk snuffs them out?
Of course, that's the just beginning of how lame this movie is. Laughable special effects(fire that look as realistic as cardboard cutouts) make even movies don't in the 70s and 80s look cutting edge. Seriously, watch Clash of the Titans or Seven Voyages of Sinbad and then tell me that the SFX from those oldies don't outshine the insultingly bad ones found here.
Then there's the overuse of stock footage. More than half the time, it feels like you're watching a news program or documentary. Hell, I wished that was the case...at least you might learn something from them. The only thing you'll learn from this fiasco is to avoid it at all costs.
If you don't have the budget to make a movie, don't. This is a prime reason why not.
- defstryk
- Jun 20, 2008