- Frank Thayer: [Frank Thayer and Teddy Sampson are lying inside a tent after having sex] I've had this scene written in my head from the moment I first lay eyes on you.
- Teddy Sampson: Did I do OK? Do you want to try one more take?
- Frank Thayer: You sure its not too late?
- Teddy Sampson: Ooh, I'm sure not!
- [Frank lays on top of her and they continue to have sex]
- Frank Thayer: Onward and upward, thats the ticket.
- [kisses Frank]
- Frank Thayer: That's what mom told me.
- Harry Aitken: Who in their right minds is gonna want to sit through a movie that runs for over an hour?
- Sam Drebben: Those actresses that you work with, they're like nurses, right? They gotta have it all the time, don't they?
- Frank Thayer: I'm not sure that's really true.
- Sam Drebben: Yeah, right. Like you're not jazzing your brains out, are you?
- Frank Thayer: [sees Teddy as D.W. Griffith's date at the movie premiere] Onward and upward, that's the ticket.