Shelter Island

I might have a partial spoiler here, but maybe not.

What's the matter with Ally Sheedy, taking a role like this? The movie's plot and ending would do well in an 11th grade creative class, but gee, we paid money to see this. It's impossible for anything like this movie to happen. In a crime scene, the same gun was used on every person in the room, which would make forensics people lick their chops.

I've always liked AS, but she must have a lousy agent. She's a pretty good actress, and needs to be tested a bit. The Dancer Upstairs was okay, but another mediocre writer ruled.

I felt duped, and to call this movie a thriller was mislabeled.

2 out of ten.

This movie is an elementary school production. Everything about it exudes an immaturity and lack of sophistication that can be overwhelming if you aren't expecting it. Still, I suspect some people can enjoy this freshman effort. It all depends on which part of the audience you belong.

Are you one of the people obligated to like it, like parents watching their child up on the stage? Are you an Ally Sheedy fan filled with false hope that she's finally making a return to decent film like High Art? Are you a lesbian sexploitation fan anticipatory that maybe this bad sex scene isn't the only one in the film? Or are you that diehard thriller fan who, during the end credits, is still looking for a redeemable moment of tension? If you could potentially be any of the above. stay away.

I suspect most of you will be the bored sibling in the crowd who was forced into watching this crummy play by a loved one. If this happens to be you, try your best to endure it, and maybe later seek sweet revenge by subjecting this loved one to a bad film you enjoy.

And the few of you who might genuinely have a blast with this film, are the teenagers who sneak into the back of the auditorium to make fun of the little kids on-stage. For you guys, this movie is great riffing fodder. A true treat to the MST3K crowd, and only for you can I recommended Shelter Island.

Believe it or not this movie was not bad. Definitely a guy movie. It had the three S's of a good flick: sex, suspense and scenery(nude). It's a good flick to watch at bed time when you need something to fall asleep to. William Penn plays a great cop who's elevator doesn't quite go all the way to the top, if you know what I mean. Hats off to Kensit and Sheedy for playing a couple and not shying away from showing their love for each other, if you know what I mean. The plot takes a little twist so as a result interest level is kept at a minimum in addition to all the nice scenery. I wonder if this willingness to play girl on girl for Ally Sheedy is part of her comeback from nowhere that started back when she did girl on girl in Higher Art?

Geoffrey Schaaf probably had no clue where he was taking this story, because ultimately, it makes no sense at all. The credits tell us it's based on a screen play from Paul Corvino; it makes us wonder if the writer must have been under influence when he conceived this pathetic thriller.

The actors are wasted. Poor Ally Sheedy, she gets involved in projects that really don't deserve her talent. One wonders if after High Art a lot of directors have decided to cast her in lesbian roles.

The story is too obvious. We know what's coming just by looking at the first scenes of the dinner party. It goes downhill after that. Stephen Baldwin will be better off by retreating to his native Long Island and start a clam digging business. Chris Penn is just horrible in the film, as are Patsy Kensit and Mimi Longeland.

Surf channels whenever this dud shows on your screen.

Is there a movie category lower than Straight-to-video? If so, perhaps it's Straight-to-Showtime-at-3 a.m., which is where I caught this little oddity. I won't waste any time on how idiotic the picture is since others have already explained it well--but I did want to comment on a "technique" so badly executed that I had to pinch myself to confirm what I was seeing and hearing. Midway though the film, for what seems like 20-30 minutes, there are passages of dialogue and voice-over narration that are accompanied by the actors talking, or mouthing words since you can't actually hear them--you can only hear the voiceovers. It seems like you've stumbled onto the worst dubbing job of all time. The actors appear to converse, and separate dialogue is heard on the soundtrack. I think the director was trying for artiness, a way of conveying events in a way parallel to the action on screen. Or something. We'd have to dig out THE CREEPING TERROR to find another botch job of this calibre.