- Lightning McQueen: [to Minny and Van, who are leaving] I'm telling you, you gotta help me! Don't leave me here! I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ's dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them!
- Sally: Forty years ago, that interstate down there didn't exist.
- Lightning McQueen: Really?
- Sally: Yeah. Back then, cars came across the country a whole different way.
- Lightning McQueen: How do you mean?
- Sally: Well, the road didn't cut through the land like that interstate. It moved with the land, it rose, it fell, it curved. Cars didn't drive on it to make great time. They drove on it to have a great time.
- [first lines]
- Lightning McQueen: Okay, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. One winner, forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast? Maybe I should have had breakfast? Brekkie could be good for me. No, no, no, focus. Speed. Faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning.
- Lightning McQueen: Doc, hold it! Seriously, your driving's incredible!
- Doc Hudson: Wonderful. Now go away.
- Lightning McQueen: Hey, I mean it. You've still got it!
- Doc Hudson: I'm asking you to leave.
- Lightning McQueen: Come on. I'm a racecar, you're... a much older racecar, but under the hood, you and I are the same.
- Doc Hudson: We are not the same! Understand? Now, get out!
- Lightning McQueen: How could a car like you quit at the top of your game?
- Doc Hudson: You think I quit?
- [Turns a light on a framed newspaper headline: "CRASH! Hudson Hornet out for season"]
- Lightning McQueen: Right. Your big wreck in '54.
- Doc Hudson: They quit on me. When I finally got put together, I went back expecting a big welcome. You know what they said? "You're history." Moved right on to the next rookie standing in line. There was a lot left in me. I never got a chance to show 'em. I keep that to remind me never to go back. I just never expected that that world would... would find me here.
- Lightning McQueen: Hey, look, Doc, I'm not them.
- Doc Hudson: Oh yeah?
- Lightning McQueen: No, I'm not.
- Doc Hudson: When was the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot rod? You name me one time and I will take it all back. Uhuh, Didn't think so. These are good folk around here, who care about one another. I don't want 'em depending on someone they can't count on.
- Lightning McQueen: Oh like you? You've been here how long and your friends don't even know who you are? Who's caring about only himself?
- Doc Hudson: Just finish that road and get outta here!
- The King: What are you doin', kid?
- Lightning McQueen: I think the King should finish his last race.
- The King: You just gave up the Piston Cup, you know that?
- Lightning McQueen: Ah. This grumpy old race car I know once told me somethin': it's just an empty cup.
- Doc Hudson: [Doc and Lightning are racing in the dirt] Yeeehaa! Well, you sure ain't no dirt boy.
- Lightning McQueen: Not today, old man. I know all your tricks.
- [Doc suddenly swerves off screen]
- Lightning McQueen: [looking for him] Doc! Doc?
- Doc Hudson: [Flies over Lightning] YEEEHAAAAA! Not ALL my tricks, rookie!
- Lightning McQueen: You know, I've really missed you Sally.
- Sally: Well, I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand, and blah blah blah blah...
- [Both lean in to kiss]
- Mater: McQueen and Sally, parked beneath the tree, K-I-S-S- uh... I-N-T!
- Lightning McQueen: Great timing, Mater!
- Lightning McQueen: I'm a very famous race car!
- Luigi: You are famous race car? A real race car?
- Lightning McQueen: Yes, I'm a real race car, what do you think? Look at me.
- Luigi: I have followed racing my entire life, my whole life!
- Lightning McQueen: Then you know who I am. I am Lightning McQueen.
- Luigi: Lightning McQueen!
- Lightning McQueen: Yes! Yes!
- Luigi: I must scream it to the world, my excitement from the top of someplace very high. Do you know many Ferraris?
- Lightning McQueen: No, no, no, they race on the European circuit; I'm in the Piston cup.
- [Luigi and Guido frown at McQueen]
- Lightning McQueen: What?
- Luigi: Luigi follow only the Ferraris.
- [he and Guido drive away]
- Lightning McQueen: I thought you said you'd never come back.
- Doc Hudson: Well, I really didn't have a choice. Mater didn't get to say goodbye.
- Mater: GOODBYE! Okay, I'm good.
- Lightning McQueen: Oh, I am SO not taking you to dinner.
- Sally: That's OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie.
- Mater: Oh, man, you get to work with Bessie! I'd give my left two lugnuts for somethin' like that!
- Lightning McQueen: Will you stop that?
- Mater: Stop what?
- Lightning McQueen: That driving backwards. It's creeping me out. You're gonna wreck or something.
- Mater: Wreck? Shoot! I'm the world's best backwards driver! Just watch this right here, lover boy.
- Mack: [after having watched three Pixar films and noticing that each one contains John Ratzenberger] Hey... they're just using the same actor over and over. What kind of cut-rate production is this?
- Mater: [after Lightning loses the case and is sentenced to repair the road] Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees.
- Lightning McQueen: What?
- Lightning McQueen: In your dreams, Thunder.
- Chick Hicks: Yeah, right. Thunder? What's he talkin' about, Thunder?
- Lightning McQueen: Well, you know, because Thunder always comes after... Lightning!
- [reporters crowd around McQueen]
- Chick Hicks: [to his pitcrew] Who here knew about the Thunder thing?
- The King: Hey, buddy. You're one gutsy racer.
- Lightning McQueen: Oh, hey, Mr. The King.
- The King: You got more talent in one lugnut than a lot of cars has got on their whole body.
- Lightning McQueen: Really? Oh, that -...
- The King: But you're stupid.
- Lightning McQueen: Excuse me?
- Luigi: On your marks, get set... uno for the money, due for the show, tre to get ready, and quattro to... I can't believe it... go!
- Sally: Do you wanna stay at the Cozy Cone or what?
- Lightning McQueen: Huh?
- Sally: I mean, if ya do, you gotta be clean, because even here, in hillbilly hell, we have standards.
- Doc Hudson: I'll put it simple: if you're goin' hard enough left, you'll find yourself turnin' right.
- Lightning McQueen: [sarcastically] Oh, right. That makes perfect sense. Turn *right* to go *left*. Yes, thank you! Or should I say No, thank you, because in Opposite World, maybe that really means thank you.
- [Lightning's done a sloppy job of repaving the road]
- Sally: It looks awful.
- Lightning McQueen: Well it matches the rest of the town.
- Michael Schumacher Ferrari: Ciao. Hi. Lightning McQueen told me this was the best place in the world to get tires. How about setting me and my friends up with three or four sets each?
- Luigi: Aah! Guido! There is a real Michael Schumacher Ferrari in my store! A real Ferrari! Punch me, Guido! Punch me in the face! This is the most glorious day of my life!
- [Luigi faints and tips over]
- Michael Schumacher Ferrari: Wow.
- [in Italian]
- Michael Schumacher Ferrari: Spero che il tuo amico si riprenda. Mi dicono che siete fantastici.
- [I hope that your friend recovers. I was told that you are fantastic]
- Guido: [Guido faints and tips over]
- [a scene from "Toy Car Story"]
- Woody Car: YOU ARE A TOY - CAR!
- Buzz Lightyear Car: You are a sad, strange little wagon. You have my pity. Farewell!
- [races away]
- Woody Car: Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, you loony!
- [Different Scene]
- Hamm Truck: Gee, I hate to break up the Road Rally guys, but, THEY'RE HERE! Birthday Guests at 3 o'clock.
- Mack: [Chuckles] Whoever does the voice of that Little Piggy Truck, I must tell ya, he's one great actor.
- Lightning McQueen: [up on the car lift] All right, Luigi, give me the best set of black walls you've got.
- Luigi: [brings him down] No, no, no! You don't-a know what you want! Luigi know what you want. Black-wall tires, they blend into the pavement, but these white-wall tires, they say look at me, here I am, love me.
- Lightning McQueen: All right, you're the expert. Oh, and don't forget the spare.
- Luigi: Perfecto. Guido!
- Guido: Pit Stop!
- Luigi: Ha ha ha, what did Luigi tell you, eh?
- Lightning McQueen: Wow, you were right, better then a Ferrari, huh?
- Luigi: Eh, no.
- Lightning McQueen: [Fillmore has introduced him to organic fuel] Wow, this organic fuel is great! Why haven't I heard about it before?
- Fillmore: It's a conspiracy, man! The oil companies got a grip on the government. They're feedin' us a bunch of lies, man!
- Lightning McQueen: After a while, why didn't you go back?
- Sally: I fell in love.
- Lightning McQueen: [disappointed] Oh...
- Sally: Yep.
- Lightning McQueen: Corvette?
- Lightning McQueen: Turn right to go left! Guess what? I tried it, and you know what? This crazy thing happened - I went right!
- Lizzie: You keep talkin' to yourself, people will think you're crazy.
- Lightning McQueen: [sarcastically] Thanks for the tip!
- Lizzie: Uh - what? I wasn't talking to you!
- Bob Cutlass: Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I'm Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend Darrell Cartrip. We're midway through what may turn out to be a historic day for racing.
- Darrell Cartrip: Bob, my oil pressure's through the roof right now! If this gets any more exciting, they're gonna have to tow me out of the booth!
- Bob Cutlass: Right you are, Darrell! Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race, Darrell, will win the season title and the Piston Cup. Does "the King" - Strip Weathers - have one more victory in him before he retires?
- Darrell Cartrip: He's been Dinoco's golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup?
- Bob Cutlass: And, as always, in the second place spot, we find Chick Hicks. He's been chasing that tailfin his entire career.
- Darrell Cartrip: Chick thought this was his year, Bob - his chance to finally emerge from The King's shadow. But the last thing he expected was - Lightning McQueen!
- Bob Cutlass: You know, I don't think anyone expected this. The rookie sensation came into the season unknown, but everyone knows him now.
- Darrell Cartrip: Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup, *and* land Dinoco?
- Bob Cutlass: The legend; the runner-up; the rookie. Three cars, *one* champion!
- Guido: [at the final Piston Cup race, Guido cheers Lightning on] Vai! Vai, vai!
- [Go! Go, go!]
- Wide Chick Pitty: Hey, shrimpie, where did McQueen find you, huh? Those round things are called tires, and they go under the car!
- [the entire pit crew laughs]
- Guido: [shaking his forklift] Con chi credi di parlare? Ma, con chi stai parlando?
- [Who do you think you're talking about? But, who are you talking about?]
- Luigi: No! No, no! You'll have your chance, Guido, you will have your chance!
- Sally: Hey there, Mater.
- Mater: Howdy, Sally!
- Sally: Hi, folks!
- [crowd murmuring greetings back]
- Lightning McQueen: [to Mater] You know her?
- Mater: She's the town attorney - and my fiancée.
- Lightning McQueen: What?
- Mater: [nudges McQueen playfully] I'm just kiddin'. She jus' likes me for my body.
- Sally: You called them?
- Doc Hudson: It's best for everyone, Sally.
- Sally: Best for everyone, or best for you?
- Sally: Just passin' through?
- Lightning McQueen: Actually, I thought I'd stop and stay awhile. I hear this place is back on the map.
- Sally: It is?
- Lightning McQueen: Yeah, there's some rumor floating around that some hotshot Piston Cup racecar is setting up his big racing headquarters here.
- Sally: Really? Ah, well, there goes the town.
- Chick Hicks: Bring on the confetti!
- [confetti shoots out and hits him painfully]
- Chick Hicks: Ow! Ow! Easy with the confetti!
- Sarge: [at Sarge's SUV Boot Camp] A-TEN HUT! Kiss the pavement GOODBYE, gentlemen! When I'm finished with you, you'll have mud in places you didn't know you HAD.
- SUV: Yo! I've never been off road!
- Sarge: Well, THAT'S gonna change RIGHT now! ABOUT FACE! Drop and give me twenty miles! Go, Go, GO!
- SUV: Aw, MAN. Now I've got DIRT in my rims!
- Ramone: [as McQueen enters traffic court] Hey, you scratched my paint! I oughta take a blowtorch to you, man!
- [McQueen is going to surprise Sally with his new look]
- Mater: Here she comes!
- Lightning McQueen: Okay, places, everybody! Hurry! Act natural.
- [McQueen hides and everybody else gets in a perfectly straight line as Sally approaches]
- Mater, Ramone, Flo, Luigi, Sarge, Fillmore: Hi, Sally!
- Sally: All right, what's going on?