Nikos the Impaler

My questions is-How much were people paid to give positive reviews for this piece of crap? Maybe they were sent free screener copies of film and they felt obligated to say nice things about it? I say this because I was fooled by the reviews and I went out and bought this piece of garbage. I was expecting a semi professional film at least but I was wrong! This thing is nothing more then a glorified home video and a really poor one at that.

The gore was maybe the worst, most amateur looking work that I've ever seen in a film. The acting was horrid. Everything about this movie was terrible! I mean, if this is the director's best work, then I can't imagine how bad his other films had to be. How can any film be worse then this thing?!

Do yourself a favor. Take my word for it, this movie is awful! Not so bad it's good or anything like that, it's just plain awful. A complete waste of time and money. AVOID IT.

NIKOS THE IMPALER is not actual moviemaking. It's really nothing more than a group of people wondering how much carnage they can orchestrate with a limited budget. Even for those who enjoys gore, as I do occasionally, NIKOS doesn't offer enough COMPETENT gore and blood and guts to satisfy.

Perhaps the real audience of NIKOS is those who doesn't require their gore to be well done. If so, then NIKOS is for them. It's mostly childish gore, and most of the killings come by way of decapitations. Really, once you've seen five characters getting their heads badly chopped off by a big sword, do you really need to see 10 more?

4 out of 10

(go to www.nixflix.com for a more detail review and reviews of films in this genre)

The tag line on the DVD box says it all: "The Big Apple Gets A New Immigrant And A Very Big Problem." Oh so true. Unfortunately, that immigrant isn't the barbaric Romanian Impaler, it's the lame-ass German director. Geez. If your only interest is cheap but plentiful gore, and strippers taking showers, then director Andreas Schnaas delivers. If you want a story or acting or any of the other crafts associated with motion picture story telling, you must go elsewhere. It's easy to see why his films are also known as Violent Sh*t. His list of actors makes me think that he cast the film at a horror convention. Nothing wrong with that. Sadly, he gives few of these Grade-Z horror movie veterans anything to do. Joe Zaso, in particular, is wasted as a romantic lead.

The most interesting thing about the film is the commentary track by the director. Listening to it, you come to the distinct conclusion that he felt he made a good film. Now that's hilarious.

Wow, I'm rather amazed I've seen a lot of bad horror movies in my life, but this one is probably the worst yet. I haven't seen any of Andreas Schnaas' other movie, but from what I've read this is his best movie. So I might just have to see the rest to see if it's really possible to make anything worse then this one. The acting was crappy, not really the biggest surprise this is after all a low-budget B-movie. But usually B-movie know how to make fun/interesting killing. This is not the case in Nikos. Basically Nikos is just a crappy Jason-clone who walks around killing people with his big-ass broadsword. and that's all he does! A guy walking around killing people with a big sword can actually make a decent movie, if the killer does it in new and interesting ways. Nikos doesn't do that, he just lobs of people's heads (with a few exceptions not may though).

I wouldn't recommend this money to my worst enemy, no one should be made to watch this movie, it's simply too crappy.

Aw, come on, another shot-on-video horror movie? Wait, what's that? Starring the Legendary Felissa Rose? And a special appearance by Lloyd Kaufman? Directed by Andreas Schnaas??? Well, hot damn, I'm sold. This gore-drenched super-8-epic begins in 11th Century Romania. A Barbarian with a chip on his shoulder, Nikos, kills and eats just about anyone he feels like. One night, some torch-baring Romanians finally put an end to the monster, in a scene right out of Anthropophagus, simply gruesome. Fast forward to present day New York. Somehow, Nikos is resurrected in a Museum, when blood touches his mask, whatever. After a lot of dialog, and not much else, Nikos slaughters nearly everyone in sight, right before taking it to the streets of New York City to make up for lost time. Nikos goes on a rampage, slaughtering everyone in his path, to a mostly speed-metal soundtrack. As if senseless mutilations weren't enough, Nikos eventually resurrects Hitler to join him, along with a zombie, a vampire, and even some Ninja's for good measure. That actually sounds pretty stupid, now that I think about it. Stupid, but completely Hardcore. Andreas Schnaas has mastered the art of the gore film.

That's right, gang, German Gore has invaded the U.S. although things seemed a little more German in Germany, oh well. If you dig excessive (comical) gore, and don't mind watching something that didn't take $80 Million to make, you might not hate Nikos The Impaler, and if you're slightly disturbed, like someone I know, you might even develop an affection for it. Just about as gory as Schnaas's previous sin, Zombie Doom, although, it's not every day you see senior citizens slaughtered so graphically, so, obviously, in some ways, Nikos is better, especially if you consider that shower scene. This Schnaas guy obviously has a love for classic gore, it shows in his creativity, we need more guys out there like this lunatic. Nikos The Impaler isn't nearly as terrible as some of these other reviews might imply, seriously, it isn't that bad. For something that is THAT bad, check out Zombie '90, and this one will look real interesting, real fast. Who the hell cares, anyway? Starring Felissa Rose!! That fact alone should make up for any inconvenience Nikos may cause. 8/10