Raptor

My brother-in-law and his wife brought the movie over one night to watch on video. This should have given me the first clue that it would be horrible. It was. From the very first frame to the last this movie is terrible. It does not even quite register as a "B" movie. Maybe an N or a P. One of the worst 5 movies I've ever seen. From the rubber raptor-on-a-stick to the still-breathing corpses in the car to the beyond horrible closing lines, this movie isn't worth watching if you've received it for free.

Skip this one altogether--unless you want to play Mystery Science Theatre with your friends, it will provide good ammunition.

I bought a DVD collection (9 movies for 10 Euros) where this one was included. It turned out to be the "uncut version" whatever that means. Beside the low average quality and short scenes there was one thing that was really strange - the soft sex scene. It started with a close up of 2 bigger breasts. After around 2 minutes I had an expression on my face which fitted the term "boooooooooooooring!" quite perfectly. 7.5 minutes of not even bouncing concrete like tits (at this point the term breasts is a bad choice) is far beyond from entertainment.

The rest of the movie was more like "people aren't /that/ stupid, are they?"

Lucky me, the DVD was scratched and I got my money back.

Oy vey... Jurrasic Park got Corman-ized. As usual the plot is wafer thin, from 1 foot tall dinosaurs that weigh 150 pounds and leave tracks bigger than they are, to inexplicable science which uses lasers to keep the dinosaurs in check and poultry trucks which have chickens loose in cages large enough for big dogs (I've seen chicken trucks they are all in cages the size of shoe boxes). And all that is in the first 15 minutes of this disaster of a film. All the male actors are imbeciles (thinking a grizzly might be loose in the desert, constantly dropping items to give the raptor an easy kill) and the female actors all look like they just came from a modeling shoot for Fredrick's of Hollywood. The raptor itself is the worst thing since the Hobgoblins (from the movie of the same name), it looks like they had a hand puppet version and a plastic model for the "motion" shots. If you want a good movie to sit around and heckle MST3K style, this is gold. If you want competent film making and good acting... don't watch a Roger Corman film. Acting gets a 4 out 10, some of the players upon this stage did try. Story gets a 2 out of 10, it reads like a drunken storytelling session gone bad. Special effects gets a 2 out of 10, I've seen worse, but not many.

Before I begin, let me just say the film is bad. There's no need in saying why. It's just bad. Bad writing, directing, special effects, acting, you name it. BUT the movie does have two things going for it: the briefly exposed breasts of the beautiful and surgically-enhanced Lorissa McComas, and the star power of one Eric Roberts. I mean it, how can you not enjoy an Eric Roberts movie? Yeah the movie may be crap on a stick, but Roberts hams scenes up to the point you just have to laugh. I rent every Eric Roberts movie that I can find. The guy is classic. Years from now people will remember Eric as the king of straight-to-video and it's a title he really deserves. Anybody who can act with a straight face in a movie that has a muppet for a raptor is a genius.

Answer: When it's two movies edited together.

I saw this on the video shelf and thought, "Oh, good. Another low-budget dinosaur movie. Haven't seen one of those since Carnosaur 3." So I rented it and sat down to watch it. The first scene opens with three teenagers riding around the desert in a jeep. "Well," I thought, "This is sort of like that scene in Carnosaur." Then I realized, it WAS that scene from Carnosaur. At first, I thought they gave me the wrong tape, but this was a scene from the middle of Carnosaur, not the beginning. Actually, it was my favorite scene from Carnosaur. Now I was seriously disappointed. Instead of watching a new dinosaur movie, I had been tricked into watching clips from two old dinosaur movies edited together. The other reviewers of this movie miss one point in their otherwise on-target reviews. The movie doesn't just use stock footage in place of special effects; it exists for the sole purpose of using stock footage in place of special effects. The script was only added to string together scenes from the first two carnosaur movies. Every line of dialogue exists only to explain why these completely unrelated events are popping up like plastic gophers in a Chuck-e-Cheese game. If you want dinosaurs, rent the Carnosaur movies again.