Hercule l'invincible

I only saw this movie because I heard it was the worst Hercules movie ever made, or the worst movie made based on Greek mythology. Whatever the standards, this is quite bad. The biggest drawback is the special effects. I mean, that has to be the fakest looking dragon I've ever seen in my whole life. This movie fails because the buildup is so poor. Almost everything is talked about in the first ten minutes and then the plot just goes from random place to random place. There's little point in keeping up, because you're so uninvested. Many scenes just go on way too long for no reason, especially the parts with the elephants and Hercules opening the door.

This film also lacks humor in every sense of the word. For all the flak I give this, I will admit that the backgrounds and sets are actually quite good. They really do come off as quite colorful. That's certainly not enough to save this. I'm used to seeing bad movies like this on MST3K, but not this time. Why didn't they ever use this on the show or even Rifftrax? Maybe they will someday. *1/2

Son of the great man - Argolese (Vadis) - saves heiress Telca (Rozin) from the clutches of a fearsome bear and is granted her hand in marriage by her father the king (Sasso). Before they can marry, Argolese must recover the tooth from a dragon - which he duly does, but discovers on his return that the kingdom has been overrun by bandits and his wife-to-be, kidnapped and enslaved by the evil Queen Ella (Brown). Argolese must overcome not only the Queen, but her trusted right hand man (Clark) and his scheming daughter (Fiore) who has designs on the throne.

Vadis is a behemoth (and looks like he's just performed a thousand hack squats before each take), although not as anatomically gifted as Steve Reeves or Reg Park, he still towers above the rest, dispatching men, horses, bears, boulders - he is apparently impervious to just about anything (except a pair of elephants trained to tear his limbs off). Rozin is innocent and sweet, whereas Fiore is the smouldering siren, but with a megalomaniacal streak that makes her both feisty and attractive. Me thinks Argolese, the great chastity-breaker, should re-consider his choice of damsel.

If you're accustomed to the peplum genre, then this "Son of Hercules" tale will be no more, no less what you'd expect with another amiable muscleman, scantily-clad babes and the ubiquitous comedian covering all the bases adequately.

Take all the "Hercules" movies and boil them down to a series of plot essentials and you'll come up with something close to this movie. It has the muscular hero whose hairless chest is almost constantly on display and whose favorite wardrobe items are mini-mini-skirts and lace-up boots. The hero fights a few real beasts -- a lion and a bear -- as well as a mythical one: a dragon. He acquires a chubby, timorous sidekick who provides comic relief. He falls in love with the daughter of a king whose kingdom is taken over by a wicked queen. The hero becomes this queen's captive. She orders him to be pulled apart, wishbone-style, by teams of wild animals. (Elephants, this time, instead of horses.) The hero emerges unscathed from this ordeal. The queen falls in love with him but he remains true to the deposed king's daughter. The queen's slaves rise in revolt and her city is destroyed by a wave of lava. The hero and the king's daughter walk hand-in-hand to the cheers of the liberated citizenry.

So, if you see this movie, you've seen virtually all the other "Hercules" movies!

Dan Vadis lacks Steve Reeves' looks and charisma but he's in his physical prime here, looking appropriately brawny but not muscle-bound. Particularly noteworthy are his silver-dollar-sized nipples which punctuate his chest like a pair of decorative decals.

Ken Clark lists this movie on his filmography and the credits list a "Ken Klark" but if he's in here, he's hard to spot. Possibly he plays the evil general with the Fu Manchu make-up?

HERCULES THE INVINCIBLE stars Dan Vadis as everyone's favorite pile of muscles.

Watch! As Hercules battles a lion, pelting it with boulders! Tossing them as though they were made of papier mache!

See! Hercules reduce a dragon to cold cuts, in five seconds flat!

Witness! The mighty Hercules save enslaved people from their eeevil king!

Stand agog! While Big H bends iron bars like rubber!

Indeed, men are crushed, as big heavy things are thrown all over the place! Hercules does all of this while sporting the latest in earth tone mini-dresses!

Of course, there's also an obligatory "test of strength". This time, involving elephants! Annnd, the final, apocalyptic battle must not be missed!

A later entry in the genre, but worth seeing for the diehard devotee...

Sword and Sandal films are perhaps the most nerve-wracking movies to try and track down. They usually have numerous different titles, versions and edits. This one is a prime example. Many of the reviews here trashing it for "stealing scenes" from other flicks (including the iconic 1958 Hercules starring Steve Reeves) are actually reviewing the more commonly available US TV Edit by Joseph E Levine which did in fact replace scenes from this flick with that previous one, which he also did US distribution for. In such a case when you are literally viewing half the movie, not just the edits but the chopping off of half of the screen to get a cinemascopic picture to fit to a 4x3 TV, one's assessment can be unfairly ravaged because you are only seeing fragments of what a movie is meant to be! I was fortunate enough to catch the original and superior Italian version which is likely to please anyone who finds a title like "Hercules The Invincible" tantalizing enough to merit a watch in the first place. Although the Italian version is missing the groovy narration added to the US Version - guaranteed to take you back to your childhood living room floor in front of the old TV set - it is an overall better viewing experience.