Les Contes de l'Histoire sans fin

"You plagurized every word from the internet site Dickens.com"

The above is mearly one of the utterly horrific lines in the new reinvisioning of The Neverending Story titled, "Tales from the Neverending Story." I asked for the flick unfortunately on my Amazon Wishlist and my friend Cody was unfortunate enough to buy it for my birthday. Unfortunately.

While Bastian has been replaced by a bemusing red headed Canadian, the entire story has been decimated. From the odd substitute teacher Mr. Blank, to the cringe inducing Atreyu, even the childlike empress was left untouched by a haphazard remake. Sure, there's the death of Artax -- Swamps of Sadness? Try some pond that turns the horse to a block of ice. Sure, there's a luck dragon -- Neither charming nor enchanting. But everything that you know and love from not only the original movie but also the book is skewed and wrong. Additions are built with equal parts cheese and crap crappity crap crap.

I watch alot of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. It was a series that ran on both the Comedy Channel and Sci-Fi for 10 years. Bad bad movies were a staple of the show. I think they would have decided this motion picture was too bad to air. Even with their humor filled riffs shouted back to the screen.

Tales from the Neverending Story: F--

You know you're in trouble when you constantly can't help saying to yourself: "I could act better than him, I could act better than her!" After a while I realized I could act better than any character in the entire film! The acting is that unconvincing and poor - it's beyond belief. Some other words to describe the acting talent of the performers is - cardboard, camp, dopey and annoying!

If the acting was not bad enough, the story was even worse! This film was totally devoid of any entertainment value, whatsoever, for the mind of an adult! Personally, I think most children, and certainly teens, would be bored to tears!

It's obvious to me that Tales from the NeverEnding Story - The Beginning is an attempt to make a quick buck off of The NeverEnding Story. To essentially turn a wonderful story into a commodity, like toothpaste or underarm deodorant. If you must see this godforsaken film out of curiosity, at least buy it used so you won't encourage a sequel!

I recently purchased the four disc complete box set of Tales from the NeverEnding Story, and I must admit that while it's not a clean transition from Micheal Ende's novel, it's fun on it's own. We have to remember that this was never meant to be a remake of the book, or the movies from the 80's. It was a television series, and in order to make it entertaining, they incorporated some of who are now my favorite characters.

Twelve year old Bastian Bux had lost the wonderful imagination he had as a child somewhere between growing older, watching TV, and going to school. But when his mother dies suddenly, his imagination resurfaces. Bastian comes across "The Neverending Story" in a curious little bookstore. In this magical book, Bastian discovers an enchanted world called Fantasia, inhabited by dragons, dark knights, assorted heroes, and villains.

The great adventure begins when Bastian follows his alter ego, Atreyu into a battle against the sinister force of the Nothing. It threatens to destroy Fantasia and its ruler, the Childlike Empress. Only Atreyu, a woodland boy, can save her.

Along on the journey, Atreyu meets the independent Fly Girl, who is on personal mission to restore dreams to Fantasians with her grandfather's machine, designed to look like the mythical Luck Dragon, Falcore, who hasn't been seen in ages. As there emotions intertwine, the two develop feelings for each other.

Although the series leaves off on a large cliff hanger, it was still an interesting watch, but with the series now cancelled, it's pretty easy to decide what happens, but of course, the tale of Fantasia never ends.

Tales From The Neverending Story was a really great series that started from the same premise as the film, but took it in a completely different direction. In the movie, most of the action took place in Fantasia. In the real world, Bastien sat in the attic of his school and read a book about the adventures of Atreyu. In the TV series, the action doesn't just take place in Fantasia. Bastien has adventures in the real world too. At first, they're the type of adventures a normal kid would have, but they get weirder and weirder, because as the series progresses, the book becomes more real, and some characters from Fantasia start to invade the real world. One of them is Gmork, a great funny/scary character -- sometimes he's a werewolf, sometimes he's the worst substitute teacher in the world. And then there's Xayide, the totally Dark Princess, beautiful and way over the top. Both Xayide and Gmork are after Bastien, so along with normal problems with teachers, friends and his Dad, he has to contend with evil forces from another world. Near the end of the series, Xayide starts sending children to the real world to do her dirty work, and even lures one of Bastien's friends into Fantasia and turns her to the dark side. And that's barely scraping the surface. Like I said, a great series.

Terrible acting, production, the episode 'plots' were painfully faulty. Just plain bad.

I was asking so many friends to watch this with me for cringing fun.

Think Power Rangers meets PBS' Zoom meets high school theatre departments' reject costume designs full realized.

I hate this series. I hope you do watch it because I cannot believe it happened.