Celebrity Big Brother

It's an old format run into the ground. That's basically Celeb Big Brother in a nutshell.

You get a few people each year that you actually have heard of, but when you have to be told in great lengths about who the people are, and why they count as being a celeb then surely the format is dead? Poor old Emma Willis has to stand there and make the 'twists' in the format seem exciting, and try to make us care about these Z listers, but by now I think we all spot this show for what it is - car crash telly.

In the begining CBB was brilliant,actual celebs providing entertainment. Sadly the show is less about entertainment and more about providing a stage for people who are questionably called celebrities. Being know for comitting a crime, being the victim of a crime,someones mistress or ex partner doesn't make a person a celebrity.

STAR RATING: ***** The Works **** Just Misses the Mark *** That Little Bit In Between ** Lagging Behind * The Pits

The same concept as the original BB (where nobodies go in!), only this time with 11 'celebrities', though usually D listers or below or else once big-time stars desperate to re-vive their careers.

What makes the regular Big Brother stand out is that it's 12 ordinary people who nobody knows and we watch to see what being couped up in a house with 12 different personalities will do to certain individuals and get a car crash sort of thrill out of watching them fall out, bitch and moan about each other. But as regards celebrities, we get enough of that in gossip columns and magazines with them, but still we as a society feel the need for a 'celebrity' big brother (although this year they've put a bit of a slant on this by putting an Essex girl named Chantelle in who's first task is to fool all the other real celebs into thinking she was in a girl-band that had a hit record!)

Seeing what an impact last year's series had, I ended up feeling a bit left out that I didn't pay much attention to it while it was on, but I've payed pretty sharp attention to this year's series so far. We have a really controversial contestant in Michael Barrymore, still dogged by the unsolved death of a party-goer at his house five years ago and living in New Zealand since. He probably set many tongues wagging before he even set foot in the house, and equally disliked by some is Labour defector George Galloway, backing out of Blair's invasion of Iraq plan at the last minute and an alleged friend of Saddam Hussein's (he might be mourning a loss later on in the year then!) They are easily the two most controversial house-mates and, as the older ones, they've also tried to be the most dominating ones and are now seen as bullies in the eyes of some. Extrovert wise, we have cross dressing basketball champ Dennis Rodman, with his eye seemingly on all the sexy ladies in the house (including Baywatch's first mixed race babe Tracy Bingham and Sven's bit on the side, Faria Alam), and the unbelievable Pete Burns. The rest are the usual ones at the end of the celebrity scale ('Maggot' out of Goldie Lookin' Chain, some guy out of some band I've never heard of and reality TV favourite Jodie Marsh.)

Like it's original counter-part, it is of course rubbish TV, where conflicting personalities are deliberately hoisted in together to cause friction, spirit-crushing 'tasks' are set to humiliate and wear down the contestants motivation and self-esteem and it's all basically as manufactured as a pop band, but it's also as big a guilty pleasure as it's CP and you can't help but watch it and get hooked in on it. And the series is only young yet, and we never know what will develop. ***

I can't even explain why I've decided to review CBB, but here goes, it is trash viewing at its finest, a bunch of z list celebrities with huge egos and non existent careers are forced to live together. That said I cannot help but watch it, every time it comes around, which is now twice a year, I say I'm definitely not watching it, I find myself getting hooked. I'm not one for reality TV in the main, but I can't help but get into it. The Perez/Katie Hopkins series has perhaps been the most watchable to date, watchable I know for all the wrong reasons. You do get to see some of the true nature of some of the celebrities, they start to sweetly and play to the cameras, but often you see the true horrors appear. Beautifully presented by the drop dead gorgeous Emma Willis. A definite guilty pleasure I'd never admit to watching.

There is an awful lot of competition for the above accolade, but this programme is definitely one of the worst around. This series three people have already walked out (as of writing) which shows how much the producers have lost it in recent series in trying to make the very dull antics of the house-mates more interesting. The decreasing viewing figures can hardly make up for the low production values any more.

There are very few house-mates you could term as being famous. Last year it was won by an unknown, Chantelle who has proceeded to unleash a dire show of her own on the unsuspecting public, but at least we have the consolation that it probably won't be long before viewers get sick of her. The other contestant from that series that springs to mind is George Galloway who with the biggest expense bill of all the MPs last year should be serving his voters, not pretending to be a cat in one of the most cringe-worthy moments of TV in recent years.

My major problem with the show (as I can just not watch it) is that it is an excuse for most of the most popular newspapers in Britain to devote pages and pages to these wannabes and has-beens in the place of any real news or indeed anything interesting.

The other thing of course like all so-called 'celebrity' shows is that nobody actually famous or currently successful is going to want to appear on the show and be made to look foolish. Every series the producers 'accidentally' leak names of real celebrities who are supposed to be appearing (but who wouldn't dream of demeaning themselves like this), so that people watch the launch show and go "who the hell is that?" at the entry of half the contestants.

Please cancel this rubbish now and produce some real entertainment. Please?