The brotherhood: le pacte

David DeCoteau's film "The brotherhood" has brought the word 'bad' to new levels of badness. Bad acting. Bad effects. Bad everything. This bad film just oozed rottenness from every bad scene... simply bad beyond all infinite dimensions of possible badness.

Well maybe not that bad, but lord, it wasn't good.

Wow, this movie is even gayer than "HellBent"! What are the odds of that ever happening? I don't think David DeCoteau ever had the intention of making a horror movie… He clearly just wanted to surround himself with athletic & handsome twenty-something boys, so he quickly thought up a scenario about a college fraternity of vampires. Instead of action & suspense, we get an whole army of male students parading in their matching tight white boxer shorts and instead of gory massacres we get insecure boys openly talking about their feelings and emotions…for hours! Two young losers meet each other on the first day of college. Chris has the body of a regular jock, but he's the sensitive type, so he doesn't want people to judge him based on his appearance. The other one, Dan, never stops nagging about how unpopular he was in his previous school. They befriend a girl with an incredibly beautiful rack; still all they ever talk about is their mutual friendship. In come the boys of the Domo Tau Omega fraternity; pretentious little pricks with sunglasses that rule over the university. Their leader – super gay dude Devon – wants Chris to join his elite group because he fancies him. Poor Chris doesn't know, however, that they form the gayest coven of vampires horror cinema has ever brought forward. "The Brotherhood" is a terrible film. There's not even an attempt to build up tension or atmosphere and DeCoteau didn't even bother to insert some cheesy horror effects. The vampires suck, all right. But not blood… They suck at making themselves appear menacing and evil. The dialogs are abysmal and the production values are overall poor, barely disguising the fact that our director is more interested in shooting porn movies. Or maybe put together catalogs for men's underwear. He should do so, and quit misleading fans of horror films. The cast members may be yummy eye-candy (at least, for certain target groups), but none of them has the slightest bit of acting talent. One to avoid at all costs.

Doma Tau Omega is an exclusive fraternity whose privileged members drink blood in order to preserve their youthful good looks. When their hunky leader Devon claps eyes on the firm, muscular frame of innocent college newcomer Chris Chandler (Sam Page), he sets about recruiting the handsome freshman, tempting him with the promise of eternal life, but secretly schemes to enter the young man's body (spiritually speaking, although one could easily be mistaken for thinking otherwise at times) in order to replace his current corporeal form.

Vampire films have long been linked with homo-eroticism, but rarely has the theme been so blatant as in David DeCoteau's I've Been Watching You, a horror film that oozes gayness from virtually every frame. With scene after scene of young men gazing wistfully at each other, exchanging bodily fluid (only blood, thank heavens!), parading around in silky shirts, rubber vests and tight PVC trousers, and stripping to their Calvins, this wasn't quite what I had in mind when I spied the DVD, which caught my eye because of the beautiful buxom woman on the cover: there is a hot chick in the film, Megan (Elizabeth Bruderman), but she doesn't show any cleavage, the only exposed chest area on display belonging to the guys.

Although clearly intended for a different demographic to myself, I would still rate this film as much as a four: it wasn't totally unwatchable, the hilarious homo-erotic content, diabolical dialogue, and crappy acting providing me with a more than a few unintentional laughs (the frat guys' atrocious taste in clothing is particularly amusing!).

Blond super-hunk Sam Page (or "Nathan Watkins"/ as Chris Chandler) goes to Drake college, on a swimming scholarship. Stripping down to his gym shorts for a run, Mr. Page catches the eye of blonder super-hunk Bradley Stryker (as Devon Eisley). Mr. Stryker is the leader of Drake's weirdest fraternity; and, he travels around with good-looking men in sunglasses. Stryker decides he wants Page's perfect body. Page tells super-geek (but cute) roommate Josh Hammond (as Dan Myers) he isn't interested in joining a fraternity. Then, Page admires Stryker's big fraternity pin, and gets sucked in…

Director David DeCoteau is definitely going after something. Page and Stryker make an interesting couple, especially when they play a "three way" love scene; note, the female ("Sandy") is incidental. "The Brotherhood" may have worked better if Mr. DeCoteau had either gone all out, or made the "gay subtext" more subtle. The subtle route is often taken by other filmmakers. The "vampire" storyline is more than a little hard to swallow (if the guys in question are supposed to be vampires).

*** The Brotherhood (2/01) David DeCoteau ~ Sam Page, Bradley Stryker, Josh Hammond, Elizabeth Bruderman

I totally agree with the other person who wrote up this movie--seriously the worst movie ever made. I have seen some terrible movies but this "horror" flick was such a laugh...my friends and I literally laughed through it. Do not ever see it! I can't believe they made not one but two sequels to this piece of garbage.